This week was very physical.
Whether it was a pair of rogue nipples or a bum that was popping off the page, body parts were making headlines this week right and left. Along with all the other news, of course.
Here's a run-down of the top stories that you, our loyal readers, chose to bestow your clicks on in order to give all the inquiring minds out there a taste of which celebcentric stories are turning pages, making you laugh and, in some cases, making your blood boil.
Go on, get started. It'll be next week and there will be all new dirt before you know it!
VICTORIA'S SECRET NO MORE: Following in the er, footsteps, of Nicki Minaj's single nip slip, Kelly Rowland's twofer wardrobe malfunction while onstage at Club 4Sixty6 in West Orange, N.J., was the big page-turner of the week. And why not? The story had everything: a hot singer and two nipples. The only things missing were angry watchdogs and an apologetic network,
ECLIPSED: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 ripped Choice Movie honors right from Edward Cullen's cold, pale hands at the 2011 Teen Choice Awards. And, even more shockingly, Harry and Hermione shared the fans' favorite smooch! (Though now we're thinking you'd rather have a look at Emma Watson smooching Johnny Simmons in real life.)
NOTHING COMPARES: When she wasn't busy shocking people by ripping up pictures of the pope, Sinéad O'Connor always seemed to be trying on new looks. But, boy does she look different now. Then she got us thinking about these famous makeovers.
R.I.P.: Jani Lane, the former Warrant frontman who penned the metal classics "Cherry Pie" and "Heaven," was found dead in an L.A.-area hotel room. He was 47, and cause of death has not yet been determined, pending toxicology tests. The current members of Warrant and Lane's fellow artists wasted no time, however, in paying their respects to the late rocker...Francesco Quinn, veteran character actor and son of the late Anthony Quinn, died of a heart attack at 48.
PAGE-TURNER: Kim Kardashian may be only a week away from donning the most important dress of her life, but what she was wearing was the last thing on admirers' minds when they got an eyeful of her in 3-D. (Side note: All's fair in curves and fashion? Not when Kim and Holly Madison dress alike.)
PAYING IT FORWARD: As part of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, Khloé Kardashian Odom went shopping and had lunch with a super-psyched fan who had undergone a liver transplant and submitted her request to meet the E! star when she was in the hospital...Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Rihanna, the Rolling Stones and dozens planning to take part in the "I'm Gonna Be Your Friend" campaign to aid children in East Africa.
TRANSFORMER: Perhaps thinking a handsomely hairy Shia LaBeouf was about to ask him for change, Joe Jonas breezed right past his fellow A-lister with nary a glance of recognition. Probably because he didn't recognize him.
BRAVO: Ashton Kutcher, TV's new highest-paid sitcom star (comes with the territory, apparently) took a curtain call at his first Two and a Half Men taping, and the studio audience sounded as if they think he's worth every penny. Angus T. Jones, who practically grew up with Kutcher's predecessor (not Hitler), says he misses Charlie Sheen.
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND: The Sesame Street Workshop confirmed that Bert and Ernie's twin beds will remain forever apart, seeing as the longtime roomies and best buds are puppets, and therefore "do not have a sexual orientation."
BUM-BA-BUM-BUM: A British spa owner said in an interview for the TLC special Crazy About Pippa that she suspected Pippa Middleton had worn an enhancing undergarment to perk up her posterior at the royal wedding. So now people are actually talking about this. Before you know it, an Italian magazine is going to be whittling Kate Middleton and punk-rock fave Vivienne Westwood is going to be criticizing the duchess' makeup. And Kourtney Kardashian should probably watch her back! (For the record, all the royals are safe and sound in the wake of rioting in London.)
SPF 72: Famously tan George Hamilton recently had multiple spots of non-melanoma skin cancer removed and is expected to be "absolutely fine."
SOUR NOTES: Miranda Cosgrove canceled her tour after an "extremely scary" bus crash left her with a broken ankle...Gavin DeGraw suffered a broken nose and other injuries a mysterious many-on-one attack in New York's East Village and won't be performing for the rest of the month...Rebecca Black revealed that she's being home-schooled because she was being bullied on campus.
BABY BOOM: Tina Fey and husband Jeffrey Richmond welcomed their second daughter, Penelope Athena...True Blood dish Sam Trammell and girlfriend Missy Yager welcomed twin sons...Viola Davis and hubby Julius Tennon are adopting...Kisses rocker Paul Stanley welcomed daughter Emily Grace, his third child with wife Erin and fourth overall...David Beckham finally was shirtless long enough to offer a better glimpse of his "Harper" tattoo. Plus, here's Harper herself.
POLISHED WEDDING BELLS: Recently divorced Mark Paul Gosselaar is engaged to advertising exec Catriona McGinn...Heather Locklear's ready to make a third go at marriage, this time with on- and offscreen love Jack Wagner...Divorcée Ricky Lake is engaged to jeweler beau Christian Evans...Joy Behar and her companion of 29 years, Steve Janowitz, have tied the knot...Hilary Duff has a few non-paper gifts in mind for her first anniversary.
LAW & DISORDER: Jenelle Evans' latest routine drug test landed her behind bars...Lindsay Lohan heeded her judge's warning and got herself in therapy. First item of business is not a recent drug purchase...Samantha Ronson charged with DUI...Christopher "Kid" Reid of Kid 'n Play tossed in jail for skipping DUI-related court dates...Twilight wolfpacker Kiowa Gordon bailed out after being tossed in jail for missing DUI- and drug-related court dates...Unsavory character busted outside Sharon Stone's home...Jersey cops being investigated for wanting to be The Situation's buddy and not his busters...Assault case closed against Justin Bieber's bodyguard...Playboy Playmate Shanna McLoughlin popped for packing heat at an airport...No charges for Rhys Ifans over Comic-Con dustup...Accused Alex Trebek burglar offered up quite the alibi...The Wire's Felicia "Snoop" Pearson cops to drug-ring role...Outkast half Big Boi arrested on drug charges...Rapper Big Sean accused of sexual assault...Marion Cotillard cried "creep" and called the cops.
TV LAND: Lucille Ball was lovingly remembered on what would have been the first lady of comedy's 100th birthday...The George Lopez show was canceled after only two seasons and signed off on Thursday. The host took it well, but that could be due to all the crack...No surprise here, Melanie Moore is America's favorite dancer...Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi dominate on the season premiere of Bachelor Pad...True Blood was renewed for a fifth season...The current season is barely underway but the Project Runway All Stars have been revealed...Emeril is joining Top Chef as a judge...Kate Gosselin's eight are ready to add a stepdad to the mix...Zooey Deschanel prepares us for The New Girl...The X Factor is almost upon us and Paula Abdul is talking about it...Stephen Colbert has picked his presidential candidate, Rick...Parry?...Did anyone tell Aziz Ansari that the C-word isn't funny?...Tara Reid joins the Celebrity Big Brother madness in London...Mindy Kaling gives her exclusive take on The Office-starring-James Spader...Thumbs down on the Bewitched idea, but here are five other shows worthy of a reboot...Former FNLer LaMarcus Tinker coming to Glee...It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Louie and Wilfred will be back for more on FX...SPOILER ZONE!
SCREEN PLAY: Have a blast on the Glee: The 3D Concert Movie red carpet right here...Anne Hathaway's Catwoman stunt double took a tumble on the set of The Dark Knight Rises, but not one of her nine lives was threatened...Jessica Chastain reveals her favorite part—or should we say parts—of The Help...Dirty Dancing is getting remade, but with who?!...Harry Potter director and scribe may be taking on The Stand...Renée Zellweger's local pizza delivery guy is back on call...The White House denies sharing national security secrets with Kathryn Bigelow...Howard Stern thoroughly denies bootlegging an advance screener of Super 8...Does Immortals star Luke Evans have something to hide all of a sudden?...Breaking Dawn is all wet...Ava Sambora will make her big-screen debut in a Judd Apatow comedy...Anderson Cooper won't be catching Chris Brown's next movie...Global X Factor castoff Cheryl Cole scored a What to Expect When You're Expecting role...Let our reviews of The Help, Glee: The 3D Concert Movie, 30 Minutes or Less and Final Destination 5 help plan your weekend.
TRAILER PARK: Jennifer Garner plants a very special seed in The Odd Life of Timothy Green...Jonah Hill has trouble laying down the law in The Sitter...Deck the halls with pot and holly in time for A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas...Taylor Lautner is dodging bullets but still sounds full of lead in Abduction...Tom Cruise is a man with, er, a mission in Mission: Impossible—Ghost Protocol...Flick pics from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Amazing Spider-Man and The Hunger Games (the pics will have to tide you over until Nov. 22, 2013).
MUSICAL NOTES: Coldplay names its next album Mylo Xyloto (so long as it's not the name of Chris Martin's next kid)...Demi Lovato goes the more pronounceable route with Unbroken...Christina Aguilera and CeeLo Green among the talent booked for Michael Jackson tribute in Wales...Kanye West talked too much in London and took a spill onstage in Norway, but he's fine, despite being not as flush as Jay-Z...The duo debuted their "Otis" video...Cee Lo wins, though, because he got Urkel for his "Cry Baby" video...Gavin Rossdale's gonna have to read the September Playboy for the articles, because daughter Daisy Lowe is on the cover.
FASHION FRENZY: Pink hair, everywhere!...Kate Hudson is topless and in bed with Elle...Olivia Wilde's side-boobage...Wilde and Emma Stone are the latest Revlon faces...Kate Moss stands out in a swirl of purple on the cover of Vogue...Ryan Gosling gets dressed twice for Esquire...W gives Kristen Stewart and Elizabeth Taylor makeover...Katherine Schwarzenegger spills a family secret in Harper's Bazaar...Pre-pink Dianna Agron covers Cosmo...Kim, Kourtney and Khloé debut their Kardashian Kollection for Sears...One of Amy Winehouse's final collaborations, AW11 Amy Winehouse for Fred Perry Collection, will roll out between now and fall 2012...Snooki's getting a fragrance. Smells like the apocalypse.
SURREAL ESTATE: Pink is selling her Sherman Oaks home for $4 million.
SCENE: Sarah Michelle Gellar hitting the beach in Santa Monica with daughter Charlotte Grace...Ashley Hebert and fiancé J.P. Rosenbaum enjoying engaged life at NYC restaurant Beauty and Essex, then again the following morning at Coffee Shop in Union Square...Chris Hemsworth and wife Elsa Pataky having date night at M Street Kitchen in Santa Monica, a night after Anna Paquin and a group of gal-pals took in the scene...George Clooney's ex, Elisabetta Canalis, holding her head high at Italian restaurant AGO in West Hollywood with a group that included Carla Gugino...LeAnn Rimes test-driving a tattoo at Code of Conduct in Chicago, where Eddie Cibrian is shooting The Playboy Club...Selma Blair strolling around Hollywood with boyfriend Jason Bleik and their baby boy, Arthur...James' little brother, Dave Franco, popping up at the Gilt City Better Than Backstage Pool Party at Lollapalooza in Chicago...Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes bopping along at the Katy Perry concert at L.A.'s Nokia Theatre...Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie taking the four oldest Jolie-Pitt kids to see Wicked in London...Ethan Hawke, wife Ryan, their two kids (including weeks-old Indiana) and his two with ex Uma Thurman enjoying the fine summer weather in their Chelsea neighborhood.