Jennifer Lopez's newest single, "Louboutins," has conveniently been leaked on the Internet just days before she's scheduled to perform it on this Sunday's American Music Awards—perhaps in an attempt to give viewers at home ample warning?

The song finds J.Lo expressing frustration over a lover who clearly isn't giving 100 percent of himself to the relationship. Why, then, is she taking it out on us? 

Case in point: The chorus contains nothing more than the line "I'm throwing on my Louboutins," repeated not once, not twice, but eight times. Multiply that by the number of times the chorus is recited (four) and we get 32 reminders of the particular brand of designer footwear Jenny from the Block is going to use to walk out on her man.

The track begins with the singer insisting, "I'm taking back my love." Personally, we wish we could take back the last three minutes and 49 seconds.

Oprah Winfrey says it's the "exact right time" to say goodbye.

In a Very Special episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show airing today, Winfrey confirms plans to pull the plug on her namesake program on Sept. 9, 2011.

"I love this show. This show has been my life. And I love it enough to know when it's time to say goodbye," a tearful Winfrey tells her studio audience.

"Twenty-five years feels right in my bones and it feels right in my spirit. It's the perfect number—the exact right time. So I hope that you will take this 18-month ride with me right through to the final show."

Her decision, she says, came after "prayer and careful thought."

So farewell to the couch-jumping, car-giving, celeb-confessing, book clubbing, weight-watching, housewife-inspiring hijinks that earned her a bucketload of Emmys and loyal audience of some 42 million viewers each week.

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When Miley Cyrus' infamous slant-eyed photo leaked online, we knew there was going to be trouble. When a Los Angeles woman filed a class-action suit against the Disney star on behalf of her Asian brothers and sisters, we knew it was going to be a lengthy battle. But when it turned out she was seeking roughly $4 billion—yes, billion—in damages from the teen, we knew what outcome was inevitable.

In a win for common sense everywhere, an L.A. judge today threw out Lucie Kim's lawsuit, saying that while the photo may have been offensive, it didn't break any state laws.

Especially not the one Kim claimed it did.

In her complaint, Kim accused Cyrus of violating a statute that prohibits businesses from discriminating against minorities, specifically in terms of offering equal access to public accommodations.

And while Miley's clearly a budding empire, she's not, strictly speaking, a business. Or, so far as we know, offering shelter.

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Summit Entertainment

What else is there to say about New Moon that hasn't already been gushed? That the sequel to you-know-what starring you-know-who and -who and -who grossed a record-setting, undead-enlivening, "absolutely freakish" $26.3 million in Friday midnight screenings?

Well, there's that.

Yes, New Moon usurped the midnight crown from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ($22.2 million), which ousted The Dark Knight ($18.5 million) this past July. Nudge the person in the theater next to you, and pass it on.

How do we know you're reading this on a handheld at a multiplex? Because chances are you are.

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Not paying your taxes for five years? Understandable. Going to prison for three years as a result? Totally unreasonable. At least according to Wesley Snipes' crack (but not that crack) defense team.

Attorneys for the Uncle Sam-dodging Blade star have filed an appeal against the actor's would-be imprisonment, calling the sentence "unreasonable" and claiming that his tax-evasion trial—which came to a close last February after Snipes was convicted on three misdemeanor counts of failing to file a return—should have taken place in New York and not Florida.

Nevermind that the 47-year-old actor's housing records showed that he lived in both states or that his legal team had ample time prior to the years-in-the-making trial to seek the location swap.

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UPDATE: The Cyrus family has issued a statement responding to this morning's tragedy on Miley's official site:

"We are deeply saddened by the loss of Bill 'Uncle Bill' Douglas. Members of our tour are like members of our family. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family in the midst of this tragedy. He will truly be missed."
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One person is dead and at least one more suffered minor injuries after one of Miley Cyrus' tour buses crashed and flipped onto its side in Virginia this morning.

Cyrus herself was not on board the bus at the time; the Disney has primarily been jetting to tour dates on a private plane for much of this tour.

"She was not on any of the buses and not on scene at any point," Virginia State Police Sgt. Thomas Molner told E! News. "She was on a different route."

The driver of the bus, whose identity has not been released, is the sole fatality.

"There were 10 people on board the bus that crashed and one is a fatality," Molner said. "One is a minor injury and that person was transported to Southside Regional Hospital in Petersburg."

The crash took place around 8:15 a.m. in the town of Dinwiddie, roughly 40 miles south of Richmond. While the cause of the fatal accident is not yet known, Virginia State Police confirm that the roads were wet at the time.

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Just because this Laguna Beach alum (and current Hills drama queen) is being honored with a Comeback of the Year award doesn't mean she has to try to resurrect Madonna's cone bra. And the 3.1 Phillip Lim zippers? Done and done. And done.

Find out who the culprit is in mystyle's Fashion DUI gallery!

Fame Pictures Inc

A blast from Britney Spears' past is going away for a while.

Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo who dated Spears at the height of her public meltdown two years ago, has been sentenced to 45 days in the slammer today stemming from a hit-and-run incident.

The 37-year-old shutterbug agreed to a plea deal to avoid deportation for running over a process server trying to deliver a restraining order on behalf of Spears' conservatorship. He ultimately wound up being permanently barred from further contact with the "Toxic" songbird.

Ghalib was immediately taken from the courtroom today to begin his jail time. After he gets out, he must complete 45 days of roadside trash pickup and 52 weeks of anger-management classes, as well as pay various fines and fees. And then he still has to deal with a civil suit from the run-in.

To paraphrase his former squeeze: Oops!

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Adnan's not the only one facing legal problems. Check out E! Online's Court Appearances photo gallery.

Summit Entertainment

Is the pope (a) Team Edward, (b) Team Jacob or (c) none of the above?

Take a wild guess.

To the surprise of no one, it turns out the folks who hated J.K. Rowling and Dan Brown aren't into the Stephenie Meyer cinematic canon, either.

"This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern," warns the Vatican's culture council leader, Monsignor Franco Perazzolo, in a statement timed to the release of New Moon.

"This theme of vampires in Twilight combines a mixture of excesses that, as ever, is aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element," he continues.

We're guessing that's one blurb we won't be seeing in the newspaper ads.

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New Moon rises today. How pumped are you?!

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It is time to get off Carrie Prejean's back about her chest. The woman is correct. The Bible absolutely, positively does not say, "You shouldn't get breast implants." In those exact words.

We have reached this conclusion after seeking counsel and revving up the search engine at BibleGateway.com.

We are sorry we didn't take Prejean's word from the get-go. It just sounded like a rationalization from a beauty queen turned inspirational memoirist. But a little bit of faith would've saved us time, not to mention the embarrassment of having to ask students of the Bible for their thoughts on—how should we say?—pageant helpers.

Our findings—and, yes, our defense of Ms. Prejean—are as follows: 

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