Dear Hide It Under a Bushel, No!
Here's the beef with Bush: I was dead set on offering her up but—this'll give you an idea of why it's hard to reveal Vices, too—the source who 'fessed all on old Mari worries he or she will get in some serious trouble if word gets back to her. And since she gives up goss on other Vices that you'd die without (trust), we're keeping our M.B. secret—for a while. Sorry, babes! But Mar isn't Ms. Parker or Toni. Think blonder, prettier.
I'd like to know if beards are always famous or do some Blind Vicers use people that are not in the Industry to cover up their sexual preference?
Dear Average Joe:
Of course some beards are outside the Biz, makes it so much more credible, don't you think?
What's with Kim Kardashian wearing a 22-carat, princess-cut diamond ring? She was showing it off at a party I was at in Chicago. Is she picking out the perfect engagement ring or what?
Dear Girl's Best Friend:
What's wrong with a babe buying herself some bling? If an NFL pro-baller won't put a ring on it, she might as well do it herself. I mean she did just turn the big 3-0. Time's a tickin', booty-ful. But alas, I hear K2 just wore the rock to an event before giving it to a couple. Boring!
How's Pepper Harthman? I haven't heard anything about him in the news, so he must have paid off that girl. What do his kids think about his cheating ways?
Dear Harthmanning Up:
Who said Pepp has any kiddos, Flo? But he was able to cover up his sexting scandal...surprisingly. And I do mean shocking: I was positive his perving was going to go public. Lucky for you, P.H.!
I gotta say I'm kinda confused. How could Taylor Swift knowingly enter a relationship with John Mayer and then be surprised when it ended badly? I'm mean it's John Mayer! It's like eating McDonalds everyday and being shocked when you become fat. I know Taylor's young, but really, she must have been the only one who didn't see it coming.
Dear Dear John:
Tay's smart enough to know what she was getting herself into, M.J. Trust me on that.
Is it beyond the realm of possibility that Toothy might like boys and girls? As per your Blind Vices, he seems to fluctuate between the two a lot...
Dear Uh, Duh:
Any loyal B.V. enthusiast knows Toothy is a fan of both teams. We're just waiting for him to commit to one of his many, many relationship contracts.
I have to say GQ actually played it safe. Risqué would've had Matthew Morrison in the center of Dianna Agron and Lea Michele.
Dear High School Scandal
Looks like you know how to sell controversy, B...and magazines.
Do JuDash (my mashed up version of Judas Jack-off and Dashed Dingle-Dream) have anything in common with Robsten?
Dear What a JuDiss:
I'd say no. Well, aside from the fact that one of them is a tad more talented in their career of choice than Robsten is. The two couples are def not the same kind of matches made in heaven.
Please, please, please throw this puppy a bone! Upon reading your article about Beyoncé and Mariah Carey...I have to know, has one of my favorite divas in the world, Mariah, ever been a Blind Vice? Woof woof...thank you!
Dear Barkin' Up the Wrong Tree:
No need to woofing worry, hun! You're No. 1 diva hasn't topped our B.V. charts, but that isn't to say she may not just be coming soon. Just teasing, or am I?
I really don't think Rihanna and Katy Perry are as good friends as they're letting on. I mean, I'm sure they're friendly and all, but maybe not as close as everyone thinks. If my very best friend was getting married, I would not miss it. No matter what work thing was going on. I understand, they're friends, and there was a mix up. But I highly doubt they're BFFs as everyone's making out.
Dear BFF Police:
Can't say I disagree on the whole BFF wedding no-show on Ri-Ri's part, but that's not to say the two aren't close friends. I mean Rihanna did throw K.P. one ethnically wild Las Vegas bachelorette shindig, right? I think it's safe to say the two girls, whether we give them the BFF label or not, are über tight.
If the rumors about Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal are true, what is Jake thinking? I mean, his name already rhymes with heartbreak. It's perfect writing material for another of Taylor's whiny songs.
Dear Too Much Mush:
I cannot ditto your whiny Swifty thoughts enough! Either way, whatever happens to this twosome, we can expect to hear about it in her next emo-ish tell-all song. We're just interested to see whether she breaks his heart or the other way around.
I figured something out! Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston are lovers! That's the "relationship" Court was talking about and that's why Jen is MIA! Oh I am good!
—B In Alaska
Dear Pulling a Palin:
And David Arquette has left Courteney for Brad Pitt.
Interesting to know that B.V. celebs can be renamed once they are solved. Could you post the ones that have already been solved? Or if you would be generous enough, just tell us if Jessica Simpson's has ever been solved? I think we all assume she is Julep Jiggle, but no one is sure if you've ever confirmed it.
Dear Jolly for Jiggles:
Jess is definitely mingling in the B.V.s, but can't say we are sure her Vicey self jiggles as much as her jugs do. Oh, and per your suggestion, what's the fun is spilling and spoiling the celeb camouflage? We all want you to know their dirtiest deets, but let's be real, they sure don't!
I'm thinking of starting a book club where the only books we read are celebrity tell-alls and trash fiction. Do you have a recommendation for our first book? Don't say Twilight. Don't say Twilight. Don't say Twilight.
Dear Trash Bash:
Sounds like denial is creeping through your book seams, missy! If you're going to dedicate your time to make a club just for trashy reads, there is no possible way you're skippin' over Twilight, hate to break it. Maybe save the best for last? Start with Kendra Wilkinson's new tell-all and work your way down!
You'll be glad to know I'm not going to ask you for tidbits about the talented and hot William Fichtner at this time although this fact should not prevent you from dishing about the fellow should he be up to anything salacious that you are aware of. My question is this: How can I start an official petition to ban the use of the word "chemistry" as it relates to the onscreen interaction between two actors? It has been used almost to the point of meaninglessness. You could set a good example by never using it again yourself.
Dear Shut Up:
What a joyous day! You've returned to us, Dianes45! And why would you want to get rid of that phrase when we know you and big Willy have the best chemistry around?