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Gwyneth Paltrow, Howard Stern

Howard Stern Show

Gwyneth Paltrow says the darndest things.

The Mortdecai actress stopped by Howard Stern's SiriusXM radio show this morning and let loose about a variety of topics like Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, strippers and, um, oral sex.

Paltrow certainly didn't hold back when asked all the tough, personal questions by Stern—she even broke her silence about her ex's new leading lady, Jennifer Lawrence!

But rather than recap the lengthy interview, we decided to give you the five juiciest tidbits, in no particular order, for your viewing pleasure.

1. On Ben Affleck and Strippers: Stern asked whether Paltrow and Affleck were on bitter terms because she reportedly once said that he "would be better off dating a Scores stripper." To which she replied, "Well, that was true at the time. But he's settled down and his wife is awesome." She also added that "he wasn't in a good place in his life to have a girlfriend," and explained that she was "more shallow" in her twenties when it came to picking her suitors. 

Gwyneth Paltrow, Brad Pitt

Barry King/WireImage.com

2. On Girls' Night With Jennifer Garner: Paltrow continued to gush about Affleck's wife, saying, "Now only is she beautiful but she's so warm, she cooks, and she's so into her kids and she's great. She's hilarious. The Oscar winner added, "I had a girls' dinner and she came over. She's my neighbor. I really like her a lot."

3. On Sex Tapes With Brad Pitt: Paltrow joked that she and her former fiancé never made a sex tape, sharing, "Do you know what's so sad? Is that [our relationship] was before the days of videos on your phones so we had nothing!" She also dished that "he was too good for me!" Say what?! And on a serious note, about her former flame, the blond beauty confessed that her father "was devastated when we broke up," explaining, "My father loved him like a son."

Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin

Raef-Ramirez/AKM-GSI

4. On Chris Martin's Child-Naming Skills: Despite getting a ton of flak for naming her first child Apple, Paltrow pointed the finger at her ex for coming up with the unique moniker all on his own. She also divulged that Apple "loves" her name. So take that, haters!

5. On Oral Sex With Chelsea Handler: Truth be told, Paltrow's advice to Chelsea Handler has already made headlines, and she's still sticking to it! Stern applauded Paltrow for telling her famous pal that more oral sex would result in fewer fights in her relationships. Paltrow clarified, "You don't have to always fight. Be a girl. Show him that he's a man, and it's a good thing energetically to do." Stern interjected that "a lot of guys are insecure" when it comes to dating such well-known, powerful women. "It depends on how many blow jobs you give them," Paltrow joked.