Kristen StewartINFphoto.com

Dear Ted:
The always accurate Gossip Cop called you out for making up the Kristen Stewart swears on set item! What do you have to say for yourself?
—KrisB

Dear Potty Police:
The story we printed is quite accurate. We checked with the people who are directly involved on the set (and let's be honest here, Kristen's rebel ways are just a few of the million reasons we adore her). Gossip Cop checked with a publicist who denied the item, as he often does when he picks other reporters apart—and surely, publicists never lie. We've invited G.C. to check in with us on stories, but he never does. Believe who you wish, free world!

Dear Ted:
I know it seems like an unusual pairing, and it's never going to happen, but let's just pretend: Do you think Miley Cyrus and Kristen Stewart could ever be friends? I don't think they're actually that different? Kristen would probably turn her nose up to even speaking to Miley. Don't you think she's a bit of a snob?
—Beth

Dear LOL:
At least K.Stew would know she could always bum a stogie off her pal Miley. Hey, to some people that's a feeling of eternal friendship. I think Kristen could dig it. Still funny, though!

Dear Ted:
I know Lindsay Lohan lives in her own little world, but her excuse that she thought that necklace was on loan made me wonder, how does that sort of thing usually work? I find it hard to believe any company would let a celeb walk out the door with an on-loan piece of jewelry without making them sign something. Is there a chance L.L. is telling the truth (as she understood it), or is she definitely lying through her teeth?
—malathorgylne

Dear Borrowing Shmorrowing:
One of the fabulous celeb perks is that designers want to drape you (via loan, obviously) in their high-end jewels and dresses. Hot celebs can sell anything by just wearing it to some rando shindig. But LiLo, she sells zippo. Felony grand theft accusations are a big friggin' deal. Some advice: She should stay the frick away from any jewelers and such if she thinks she can land that Lois Lane role. And to say we had so much faith in a potentially ferosh Superman comeback for her.

Dear Ted:
You said today that all of the Friends group has starred in a Blind Vice except for Lisa Kudrow, but you have said repeatedly that Jennifer Aniston does not have a B.V. (including on Jan 5 of this year). Does "starring" in a B.V. mean something different than having your own B.V.? Does Jen have one or not?
—jwhitten

Dear Worried:
When you star in a Blind Vice, you own that Vice, hon. So, what I meant, more specifically, when answering mail the other day was that Lisa Kudrow is the only Friends star never even be attached to a Vicey slip-up. Jen sometimes keeps bad company; no secret there!  

Dear Ted:
My question is about two Gleeks and their relationship with Ryan Murphy and the other writers as well as the Fox suits. Firstly what do the above think of Lea Michele's high-strung antics? With her GQ and Cosmo incidents is Ms. Michele in danger of being thrown off the show? And have Mark Salling's relations with the above execs improved since his CD "misconduct"?
—argentino82

Dear Juicy for Glee:
Lea and Ryan are obviously super friendly. I could bet my life he dies for her. Plus, she just looks like a prime director's brown noser. I still don't get why everyone is bitchin' about Lea's Cosmo cover. It's not racy at all. The girl has stripped down to way less and rocked it, people. Just another way to get her name in those tabs, I guess!

Dear Ted:
My friends and I are completely stumped on King Schlong. I haven't been this confused on a Blind Vice in a long time. Has King ever been married, or does he have any kids? Any clue you can throw our way is appreciated!
—Stacey

Dear Stumped on Schlong:
The schlong will do that to ya...Even the best of B.V. guessers would wag their tongues for hours WTF'ing if they knew who this stud was. To answer your question, no and no, but he has gotten pretty serious with a few doll-faces, to say the least. 

Dear Ted:
My boyfriend and I are finally getting caught up on the entire Office series. My boyfriend thinks that Steve Carell has gotten Botox and hair implants. He thinks he looks younger in the newer seasons as compared to the first season. I disagree, but what do you think?
—Amber

Dear Operation in the Office:
He's joking, right? While I would not be stunned that Steve would pull a stunt like this (you'd be surprised how many male actors do go under the knife), I still highly doubt it. His face is just naturally frozen-looking

Dear Ted:
In light of The New Yorker article on Scientology, when you said that Nicole Kidman was maybe a good mother by staying away from her kids with Tom Cruise, did you have their "disconnect" policy in mind? I get that there is more to your dislike of her, just had to ask. Can't stop thinking about the article, I am so deeply upset.
—Jas

Dear Sinful Synergy:
Those two def did not have the best of relaysh mergers. Never went too deep into Tom's Scientology crap. Nicole simply isn't as warm a parent to Connor and Isabella as Tom is. Example: Nicole likes photographers to be around when she's parenting them; Tom, not so much. The article is chilling, and I totally get where you're coming from. Just wish Tom did, too.

Dear Ted:
You said that Lea Michele tried to hook up with one of her Glee costars. Did she succeed with any?
—erinaralston

Dear Glee Gets It On:
What does Lea not succeed at, really? I wouldn't even attempt to put it past this one. For now, she's very seriously dating that Broadway BF of hers, Theo Stockman, but who's to say she's ready to permanently settle down? Would surprise me if she were.

Dear Ted:
I watched Oprah the other day when Donald Trump and the entire family were on. I was surprised by how normal and close they all seemed to be. What's up? Is it true? Do they all get along as well as they'd like the world to believe?
—at.80

Dear Random Thought:
Not surprised the loaded fam bam was all smiles. Oprah has this sly way of making even the most conniving people look damn good. That's some talent! And Donald isn't even half bad at it himself.

Dear Ted:
You said Robsten keep to themselves on set, but then you were talking about how they went out with Kellan Lutz the other day. Out of all the people (besides each other), who do they get on best with? I always thought Rob and Jamie Campbell Bower could be good friends.
—Ailish

Dear Inseparable:
Don't take everything critically, please! The love birds are attached at the hip, but they're still spending some good quality time with their friends. Good to know everyone can get along, even if some know each other better than others. And that Bower business is debatable. I feel like there could potentially be some underlying Brit-rat jealousy issues going on.

Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong 50 Cent? Me and my rescue Ossie must know! And he says thanks for spreading the good word for pet adoption!
—tl_patterson

Dear Ewww:
No way. 50 is the definition of overcompensating. He's a whole ‘nother kettle of Blind Vice fish. Kisses to your cute pooch!