Another wonky week is behind us.
We bid farewell to beloved stars, celebrated the births—or impending births—of new babies, sifted through legal documents, watched countless hours of TV, talked to people who make TV and were our usual thorough selves so that you could be up to date on every matter of import from the week just passed.
So, fill up your coffee mug, get comfy and dig in!
J.GO: Jennifer Lopez's second season as an American Idol judge will also be her last—though the interested parties who would like her to stay aren't quite ready to face the music. Music that even J.Lo herself isn't ready to play yet.
FARWELLS: Disco hitmaker Donna Summer died at 63 after a long battle with cancer. Legions of admirers, peers and entertainers of all stripes are mourning the loss...Swamp People alligator hunter Mitchell Guist died of an apparent heart attack at only 47...Mary Kennedy, wife of Robert Kennedy Jr., died of asphyxiation caused by hanging at the family's Bedford, N.Y., home; she was 52 and her estranged husband has revealed that she suffered terribly from depression...Booker T and the MGs bassist Donald "Duck" Dunn died at 70.
IN THE WIND: Nick Stahl, child star turned leading man in Terminator: Rise of the Machines and the HBO series Carnivale, has gone missing. His estranged wife and mother of his 2-year-old daughter has expressed concern about his long-term battle with substance-abuse issues and is "extremely worried" about him.
SWEET TALK: Kristen Stewart talked about how her "f--king boyfriend"—who's now 26—just made Bel Ami and French purists are concerned.
LOOK WHO'S TALKING: The anonymous masseurs who were suing John Travolta but have since dropped their cases have left their first attorney and are now being represented by Gloria Allred, who says she believes both claims are worth pursuing. Meanwhile, Team Travolta has also denied a National Enquirer report that the actor put the moves on Grease costar Jeff Conaway, whose girlfriend says the late actor wanted the truth to come out. Travolta attorney Marty Singer also says his client was "vindicated" by John Doe No. 1 dropping his suit.
DO NOT DISTURB: Raven-Symoné, rumored to be living with an America's Next Top Model alum, says she never talked about her love life or sexuality before and she sees no reason to start now.
KO'D: Things aren't so amiss between Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick as the tabloids would have you believe, even though he wasn't able to make her super-fab baby shower last weekend.
CHEEKY MONKEY: After making an appearance at Kourtney's baby shower, Kanye West accompanied Kim Kardashian across the pond to London—but it's British talk show host Alan Carr who got to give Kim's famous bum a feel for the cameras.
GIVING BACK: Khloé Kardashian Odom has used her own experience being bullied as fuel in her quest to help young people make it through their own tough times and come out stronger on the other side.
TANGO ON: Donald Driver, William Levy and Katherine Jenkins made the Dancing With the Stars finale.
FINAL TWO: Phillip Phillips (was there any doubt?) and Jessica Sanchez (there was doubt) are headed to the American Idol finale.
FADE TO BLACK: Grey's Anatomy mastermind Shonda Rimes killed off Chyler Leigh's Lexie—and got rid of Kim Raver's Teddy for good! Sniff gulp, hiccup...
NOT SO: Justin Bieber denies that a breakup-implying tweet on his page was written by him. He and Selena Gomez are still going strong!
WHOA, BABY!: Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky welcomed their first child together, daughter India Rose...Rachel Uchitel and husband Matt Hahn welcomed daughter Wyatt Lilly...Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley revealed they named their second adopted daughter Adalaide Marie Hope Kelley...The Big Bang Theory's Simon Helberg and wife Jocelyn Towne welcomed their first child, daughter Adeline...Pregnant Snooki has given up tanning...People is paying Jessica Simpson $850,000 for the first pics of baby Maxwell...America's Next Top Model almost-winner Angelea Preston is pregnant with her and new hubby Eric Brown's first child...Pregnant in Heels' Rosie Pope and hubby Daron welcomed their third child, daughter Vivienne Madison Pope.
CHEERS: Kate Middleton had the champagne that the equally unpregnant Prince William and Prince Harry were imbibing at Windsor Palace celebrating Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee...But maybe there just isn't room in the car for a baby just yet! Kate also brought her pup along to Will's charity polo match.
STRIP SEARCH: Jenny McCarthy is posing nude for Playboy again—her first pictorial was in 1993...Jennifer Aniston is relatively buttoned up in her new Smartwater ads.
OLD FLAMES: Russell Brand says he still loves Katy Perry as a human being. Notably, he didn't say he still loved her as a person he wants to be in regular contact with.
ENGAGEMENTS: Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans says she plans to marry Gary Head...Hulk Hogan's ex-wife, Linda, is no longer planning to marry 23-year-old Charley Hill.
MARITAL WOES: Billy Bob Thornton says he didn't think he was good enough for Angelina Jolie when they were married, and that he "chickened out."
TV LAND: So You Think You Can Dance's ninth season will crown a couple this year...Conan O'Brien and David Letterman got together to dump on Jay Leno a bit...America's Next Top Model welcomes stylist Johnny Wujek and model Rob Evans to the fold...Dancing With the Stars' next season will be an all-star edition...How I Met Your Mother post-finale scoop...Britney Spears and Demi Lovato join The X Factor fold...The Vampire Diaries leads all comers for the 2012 Teen Choice Awards with six nominations.
RECAPS: Get filled in on the Grey's Anatomy season finale...Glee...The Bachelorette premiere...the Gossip Girl season finale...the Smash season finale...the premiere of America's Got Talent...the How I Met Your Mother season finale...Celebrity Apprentice...The Real Housewives of New Jersey...Mad Men...the Desperate Housewives series finale...Game of Thrones...Khloé & Lamar...the Survivor: One World finale...the Once Upon a Time season finale...and Saturday Night Live.
SCREEN PLAY: Robert Pattinson is pretty darn sexy in Bel Ami...Kristen Stewart and fellow stars enjoyed (well, with K.Stew it's hard to tell) the Snow White and the Huntsman world premiere in London...The Avengers has made more than $1 billion. Your turn, DC Comics...Robert Downey Jr.'s Avengers haul could reach $50 million...Surprise, some Arab-Americans find Sacha Baron Cohen's The Dictator horribly offensive, and not because of what he did to that camel...Five things to know about the 2012 Cannes Film Festival...In honor of Facebook's IPO, here's a look at what The Social Network's stars and real-life inspirations are up to...Great Odin's raven! Anchorman 2 already has a teaser...Read our reviews of The Dictator, What to Expect When You're Expecting and Battleship.
MUSICAL NOTES: Van Halen postponed their summer tour until further notice...Three of the four Wiggles are being replaced...Taylor Swift donated $4 million to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum.
LAW & DISORDER: 27-year-old man charged with stalking Mila Kunis...Teen Mom's Amber Portwood was released from jail...The FBI is investigating death threats aimed at Duane "Dog" Chapman...OneRepublic drummer Eddie Fisher pleaded not guilty to assault and destruction of property for downtown meltdown...Octomom's bankruptcy filing was rejected...Bret Michaels settled his suit against CBS and the Tony Awards.
HOSPITAL CORNER: Joshua Hutcherson unveiled a healthier nose after having a deviated septum repaired...Modern Family cutie Sarah Hyland revealed that she had a kidney transplant last month...50 Cent was accompanied by a few plush pals while hospitalized for an undisclosed ailment.
SURREAL ESTATE: Ryan Seacrest took Ellen DeGeneres' Beverly Hills estate off her hands for $37 million...Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have rented a palatial spread in West London.
FASHION FRENZY: Snow White's sartorial battle: Kristen Stewart vs. Charlize Theron on the red carpet...Rihanna could use some exfoliation in her "Where Have You Been" video.
PDAS: Cory Monteith and Lea Michele share a smooch at a New York Rangers NHL playoffs game...Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde look cozy strolling in NYC...Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel give it up for the kiss cam at a Lakers game...Will Smith ducked an overzealous reporter's advances in Moscow.