Lester Cohen/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
Why are you so mean to Nikki Reed? I know that people love Robsten but why throw Nikki under the bus? Nikki is not a fame whore. She's done nothing to deserve that title. Robsten idiots unfairly gave that to her. You know that fans didn't like her since she was announced as Rosalie. They didn't give her a chance. That's where the hate came from. So why stimulate undeserved hate with insinuating things without any facts? The fact that Nikki values Kristen's friendship over Rob says it all. You think if the N & R fling didn't happen Kristen would have dumped Michael? Why don't you apologize to Nikki? If Nikki kills herself over this, I blame you and won't stop until you're fired!
—My Ballet
Dear Ouch!:
Wow. All I can say is...Nikki, is that you? Of course, it's not. But whoever you are, look: If anybody offs themselves (even emotionally) over a gossip blogger's comments, they're in the wrong business, clearly.
Dear Ted:
I just wanted to thank you for reporting on the Stewart-Pattinson (may as well hyphenate the names à la marriage style) liaison. There is something so Romeo and Juliet about the two of them. Oh, and by the way, fair prince, you're looking pretty darned dashing yourself. You're way too gorgeous in that rose shirt you had on during a recent broadcast. Yummy.
—Sno
Dear Dramatic:
Thanks, doll, I'm blushing to match my wardrobe! And let's pray Robsten turns out better than Romeo and Juliet did.
Dear Ted:
Shafterella Shoshstein's boyfriend is also famous, right? So why don't you give him a nickname and make his own Blind Vice?
—Jack
Dear Blinds of a Feather:
Uh, who says he hasn't had his own Blind Vice already?
Dear Ted:
Middle-aged Twi-mom who can't get enough of your pithy commentary. But whoa! Are you hinting that Nikki Reed and Kristen Stewart are friends with definite benefits?! Not that there is anything wrong with that...I just enjoy the whole Robsten phenom. How is the new addition to your household?
—Pamela
Dear BFFs:
They're very close again, despite the rocky period. What kind of benefits you talkin', naughty mama? And Charlie Casablanca's too terrific, chewing everything in sight, half my shoe collection sorry to say.
Dear Ted:
I am so sorry to hear about Butch. I lost my baby, Bailey, on April 21, 2008. I still ache every time I think of him. He was truly an incredible doggy. Congrats on your new babies. Give them kisses from me. P.S.: I adore all of you Twilight gossip!
—Shelly
Dear Puppy Love:
Margo, Cleo, Charlie and Charlotte all say woof-lick back, and we'll say a prayer for Bailey in doggy heaven, too.
Dear Ted:
So, in your most recent Bitch-Back, you stated, "Gerard is straight (I guess?), so maybe that's one step in the right dating direction for Aniston." So are you saying John Mayer is not exactly straight? I always thought so, and if so, he is a B.V., right? Throw me a bone! All eight of my dogs are rescues! And I became a godmother yesterday! Woohoo!
—Lady Greer
Dear Windy Path:
All I'll comment is—just because you've got a canine heart of gold—yes, J.M.'s no stranger to our Blind Vices. Or to other not-so-narrow activities.
Dear Ted:
What do you think about Whitney Houston's comeback? For real? Not? Do you really think she quit smoking...even though crack is whack, right? Love you, mean it.
—Sheri
Dear Whitney Worrying:
I think she's quit. For now. Lord knows it takes more than a hit album to convince you not to stray back. Brit can attest to that.
Dear Ted:
Not a question. Miley Cyrus was going with her new boyfriend and that's when Nick Jonas stepped in the picture and started partying with Miley. And when Miley was acting like friends, Nick was really trying to get back with her and that means Nick is with Miley. And she dumps her new boyfriend.
—Leondra
Dear Romance Coach:
Thanks for the play-by-play! But may I suggest you use more adjectives in the future? You know, "slurpy" Nick, "messy" Miley, you know, accurate descriptions like that, and so forth.
Dear Ted:
What the hell is wrong with Jake Gyllenhaal these days? He used to make decent movies in the past. Now all he does is go on coffee dates with his so-called GF and produce crap like Prince of Persia. That photo you posted the other day was hideous, by the way. Maybe he should just ditch that bird and refocus on his career. That would do him a lot of good in my opinion.
—Nic
Dear Long-Lost Twin:
Did I write this letter and send it to myself?
Dear Ted:
Regarding the Paula Might Be Crazy post, you must know that Drea de Matteo is filling the vixen shoes previously worn by Nicollette Sheridan on Desperate Housewives. I'm a fan of both actresses. Edie Britt absolutely made life on Wisteria Lane exciting. Do you think Drea can make us love to hate her?
—Dee
Dear New to the Neighborhood:
Loved Drea on The Sopranos—not so much on Joey (then again, what was there to love on Joey?). Nic's heels will be hard to fill—I hope D2 brings some much needed spice to the show.
Dear Ted:
Why is it that the Brangelina twins are rarely photographed, while the other four are on constant display?
—Gserniak
Dear Hidden Babes:
It couldn't be Brangie has something to hide, could it? Could it? Suri, you'll remember, was tucked away for months, and there wasn't a thing questionable about that birth.
Dear Ted:
I am not a Katherine Heigl fan, but I was curious to read the cast list for The Ugly Truth. After your blog about LiLo's movie Labor Pains I thought it was funny that The Ugly Truth's cast includes Cheryl Hines and Bonnie Somerville. It's too bad they are playing second fiddle.
—Nabsunshine
Dear Second Banana:
Both femmes deserve to be the stars of their own flicks, since they come off like they're actually trying. As opposed to Lohan, who's given up.
Dear Ted:
I just realized that while I have seen tons of pictures of the imperious and ungrateful Katherine Heigl and her smug Mr. Butler—how is it that we haven't seen a picture of the Missus with her husband, Josh Kelley in, what, about six months? Could it be that Ms. Heigl is herself "cruel and mean" at home?
—Scout
Dear Heigl Housewife:
The A.T. spotted him at the Ugly Truth premiere. So she can't be that much of a terror around the house, otherwise, he woulda stayed put.
Dear Ted:
I know you talk a lot about "nice guys," and I met Jay-Z on an elevator after a Nets game and he seemed like a cool guy. Thoughts on him? Sorry about Butch, I volunteer with an animal rescue group. I'm a big comic book fan and was just wondering if you ever hear any gossip on things besides people—like projects in development? I'm looking forward to seeing Ryan Reynolds' appearing in the Deadpool and Green Lantern movies, as well as his wife, Scarlett Johansson, in next year's Iron Man 2. Wouldn't it be great if they both appeared in the upcoming Avengers movie? Smoking hot! I'm also wondering if you happen to know if they're ever going to make an Aquaman movie? Wouldn't it be too funny if they picked Adrian Grenier to play Arthur Curry—the original man from Atlantis? Who else do you think could play that role? Patrick Duffy played a man from Atlantis in the '70s, but I personally think James Franco could pull it off quite nicely for the 21st century DC Comics version.
—Michael
Dear Geek Chic:
So many Q's! First up—Grenier isn't that good of an actor to actually pull of starring in a real high-profile superhero flick. Not the only proof of Entourage being a total work of fiction. Jay-Z strikes me as actually private (as opposed to Jon and Kate pleading to the media they want to be left alone and then immediately running around town with underage girlfriends), which makes lousy gossip. And yes, let's get geek power couple Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds together in a flick, stat! Then they might actually have to show up at a premiere together.
Dear Ted:
Your recent Bitch-Back comment on Jen Aniston got me thinking...has she ever been a B.V.? Or a beard? Can you answer either?
—Jede
Dear Friendly Seeker:
The answer to one of those questions is yes. Can you guess which one?
Dear Ted:
Tell all the Robsten fans to lighten up. You're a gossip columnist and this is all supposed to be fun. All the uproar over Nikki Reed is insane. So she has a new beau. Great for her and great for you for sharing. Isn't that what gossip is all about? Keep up the good work. P.S.: What do you think about the People magazine cover with R.P. & K.S.? Why does everyone try to steal your thunder?
—Ann
Dear Unfashionably Late:
Because our thunder is always first, babe.
Dear Ted:
Does Paris Latsis actually do anything besides be rich and look cow-eyed and poorly groomed?
—Margery W
Dear Not That Paris:
What else do you want him to do? Try acting? God save us all!