OK, Bachelor in Paradise is officially our new favorite thing. Tonight's search for true love was so dramatic we couldn't even handle it, and that wasn't even the only thing on tonight! The ladies of Orange County got down and dirty in Bali, Channing Tatum got down and dirty in the woods somewhere, and everyone on Teen Wolf almost died again! Must be Monday, huh?
Bachelor in Paradise: Remember when Michelle K was acting coy last week when asked if she was single? This week, she had a friend (a Bachelor in Paradise crew member friend) over to her hotel room, and when the cast handler knocked on her door, he got scared and jumped off of the 45 foot high balcony, breaking both of his legs. The crime-show-style reenactment was one of the best things we've ever seen in our entire lives, and we think all off-camera events on this show should be shown this way.
Another secret relationship was revealed when the guys confronted Ben about a steamy love note they found in his bag. He admitted that he had met someone just three weeks ago, and he was sort of in love. After Michelle chewed him out, he left, taking his hilarious turtle backpack with him.
Most of the rest of the night was dedicated to Elise and Dylan. After one week, she believed they were in love. He wanted to make sure that he also got to get to know other girls.
Elise took this to mean that she should make out with newcomer Chris in the ocean. Dylan wasn't pleased, even though Elise claimed she was thinking of him the whole time. Dylan told her that even if she were to offer him a rose, he would not accept it. Despite this, she offered it to him anyway. When he refused, she made a truly inspiring speech about living life and finding love or something, and gave the rose to Chris instead.
Clare gave her rose to newcomer Zack, AshLee gave hers to Graham, Lacy was paired with Marcus, and Michelle gave hers to Marquel, leaving poor Robert and Dylan as the last two, and Sarah with the last rose. Dylan thought he had some hope after a slightly successful date with Sarah, but in the end, she chose Robert, sending Dylan home.
Real Housewives of Orange County: The Bali trip continued to be great fun as the ladies went to a temple (in booty shorts), had their feet cleaned by tiny fish, made friends with some monkeys, struggled to ride bikes, and watched a cool dance performance, but the real drama came when the women finally confronted Tamra for everything she's said and done.
It all went down in the busy resort restaurant when Tamra wondered why Vikki was being weird and quiet, and exploded into a "she said this," and "you said that" shouting fight.
Tamra was the first to get up and leave the table, shouting that the women would never see her again, and running across the resort lobby, barefoot and screaming. Heather was sad to hear that Tamra had said things about her too, and tried to talk to her friend back in the room. Yet again, Tamra refused to acknowledge that anything was her fault, instead blaming Lizzie. Heather rejoined the other women, and they all sort of mourned the possible end of a friendship and the trip that had almost been pleasant.
Running Wild with Bear Grylls: Tonight it was Channing Tatum's turn to run over the river and through the woods and also up and down a cliff, and he did not disappoint. He was totally down for pretty much anything, including killing, gutting, talking to, and eating a snake, in that order.
Our favorite moment was when Bear and Channing were trying to sleep next to each other on a small ledge on the side of a cliff, with their feet stuffed in their backpacks for warmth, but Channing couldn't sleep due to Bear's snoring and also terror. We totally sympathized.
Teen Wolf: RIP Scott McCall! For forty-five minutes, anyway. If we could give an emergency Emmy to Melissa Ponzio right now for that fake crying scene in the hospital hallway, we would. Those were some badass tears!
Basically, Scott had to pretend to be dead as bait for the Benefactor. While Scott had creepy death dreams about Liam and mouthless men, Kira, Liam, Chris, Stiles, Melissa, and Mrs. Yukimura tried to draw in the Benefactor, which didn't seem to work. Kate showed up with her Berserkers to take the body, for some reason. Chris held her off, but a berserker attacked and injured Mrs. Yukimura, and then Kate went back and confirmed to a very pleased Peter that Scott was not actually dead.
Scott did suspect that maybe the Benefactor is a banshee, just as Lydia learned that her most-likely-a-banshee grandmother – whose urn is actually full of mountain ash – is probably not actually dead. Whaaaaat? (What is it with the grandparents on this show?)
Other things: Derek's wolfiness is fading fast, so Braeden tried to teach him to defend himself like a human. Then they hooked up, instead. Plus, Malia and Peter had a lovely father/daughter reunion, during which he claimed he would help her find her mother, which was very nice of him!
So what did you watch tonight? Do you think Lydia's grandmother is the Benefactor? Do you want so many more of those reenactments on Bachelor in Paradise? Can you just not wait for the Real Housewives of Orange County finale next week? Sound off in the comments!