Facebook's Messenger App May Be Creepier Than Your Stalker Ex and Here’s Why

Social media site is trying to get you to download their new service, but you should read their creepy Terms of Service first

By Elizabeth Freda Aug 01, 2014 6:05 PMTags
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If you're part of the majority that use Facebook on a mobile device, you've noticed a few changes lately. That one girl from high school is knocked up, your ex is dating someone new and your aunt has been commenting on your pictures more than usual. Oh, and did we mention the main Facebook app is eventually getting rid of its inbox feature?

Facebook created a separate app for inbox messaging a long time ago and we've tried to hold off as long as possible. Eventually though, people may have to download the Messenger app if they're looking to Facebook on the go. There are already over one billion downloads of the app. Do those one billion know what they've gotten themselves into? Seriously, this s--t is real.

Chances are, we all thought the Messenger app was pretty harmless. Just another app to send text back and forth. We may have thought wrong. According to a roundup by the Huffington Post, some of the app's security terms have the potential to be pretty intrusive.

Since absolutely no one reads those pesky "Terms of Service," it's easy to see how Facebook has gotten away with this for so long. But not today. Not on our watch.

If you've already downloaded the app or are considering it, here are the most insane-sounding breaches of privacy you could be subject to, word for word:

"Allows the app to call phone numbers without your intervention. This may result in unexpected charges or calls. Malicious apps may cost you money by making calls without your confirmation."
So what you're saying is you can call our grandparents on a whim whenever you feel like it? No. Nope. They are old and do not need to be disturbed. Plus, do you know how many numbers we have from people we met at a bar that we don't even remember? We don't want you calling them either. 

"Allows the app to send SMS messages. This may result in unexpected charges. Malicious apps may cost you money by sending messages without your confirmation."
We don't need this in our lives, especially if "malicious" apps are going to cost us money. Maybe kind and compassionate apps, but definitely not "malicious" ones.

"Allows the app to record audio with microphone. This permission allows the app to record audio at any time without your confirmation."
Mmm…That sounds an awful lot like spying. Also, what if we're doing something embarrassing (ex. going to the bathroom, having excessively loud sex, crying alone while watching Titanic) and you decide to just drop on in? We realize Facebook may not be using this feature willy-nilly, but we've seen too many movies to know it's all too possible to hack our phones.

"Allows the app to take pictures and videos with the camera. This permission allows the app to use the camera at any time without your confirmation."
Sorry, but when we're typing we don't need you snapping pictures of our faces at that awful upward angle that happens when we open Snapchat. (Is it bad our main concern is an unflattering double chin picture surfacing?)

"Allows the app to read you phone's call log, including data about incoming and outgoing calls. This permission allows apps to save your call log data, and malicious apps may share call log data without your knowledge."
Let's just point out where Facebook said "malicious apps may share call log data without your knowledge." How do you sleep at night, Mark Zuckerberg?! Oh, that's right. You're a robot. 

"Allows the app to change the state of network connectivity."
We're not positive what this means but it doesn't sound good.

"Allows the app to read data about your contacts stored on your phone, including the frequency with which you've called, emailed, or communicated in other ways with specific individuals."
We don't need you seeing the frequency with which we text our moms. That is private and also embarrassing.

After all of this, we're definitely not trying to download the app any time soon. In fact, we may try to live without the app forever.

Where will it stop, Facebook?! If we were conspiracy theorists, we'd say you're trying to Big Brother us.