Sorry, tobacco users. Starting Oct. 1 of this year, you will not be able to get your products at CVS anymore.
The company announced today that promoting wellness while still selling cancer sticks and other products that are terrible for you just does not make sense.
"Selling tobacco is very inconsistent with being in that business," Helena Foulkes, CVS' pharmacy president said. "We really thought about this decision as it relates to the future as a health company—it's good for customers and our company, in the long run."
And we agree. But just because they are taking tobacco products off the store shelves soon, we don't want anyone to forget about all the useless crap you can buy at CVS! We've all been there: You go in to CVS to pick up a prescription or just buy ultra-jumbo tampons, and you end up wandering the aisles. Before you know it, you have a cart full of stuff that you definitely don't need, but you must have it anyway.
To celebrate CVS' awesome decision to get rid of tobacco products, here is our list of the best ridiculous items you can still purchase at the pharmacy chain:
1. Traveljohn Disposable Urinals: For those times you'd rather squat over a pouch than use an actual bathroom. It also says it's useful in times of traffic jams, and since some cities are experiencing crazy traffic problems due to the weather, these actually might be worth buying if you live in Atlanta. (Ah, jokes, people! Just jokes).
2. Kung Zhu Blizzard Genin Ninja Warrior Armor: The lone review for this toy(?) says it all: "The description led me to believe that this was a costume for kids." Basically, what is this thing?
3. Perfect Tortilla Pan Set: But remember, don't be afraid to let your tortilla bowl be imperfect.
4. Chillow: C'mon, get it for the pun-derful name! Can't afford this for 13 bucks? Stick pillow in fridge. Problem solved.
5. Juvo Cell Phone Caddy: For when you want to wear your cell phone around your neck like a backstage pass.
6. Cupidology Kissable Body Spray Paint: Sure, Valentine's Day is right around the corner. But if you are buying your edible body paint at CVS…wait. Scratch that. If you are buying any of your V-Day gifts at CVS (excluding cards and candy, of course), then you should rethink your gift-buying process. And we hate to say it but…this is probably a yeast infection waiting to happen.
7. Zoomies Hands Free Binoculars: Great for sporting events, unless you want to switch between magnified action and watching the game normally. But then you'd have to keep putting your hands to your face to remove the glasses, just like regular binoculars, thus rendering the hands-free capability obsolete. Also, just get bifocals.
8. Ralph Paul's Guitar Made Easy: You can watch videos of this guy teaching you to play guitar! Or, you know, the Internet and YouTube exists. Of course not a lot of teachers on YouTube have those sweet sunglasses that Ralph is sporting.
9. Better Strainer Expandable Strainer: This is actually kind of awesome and we might go buy it. What can we say? We're suckers for products that promise to save space when you get rid of anything that is described as "bulky." Is there an informercial for this thing that starts out with people who are too clumsy to handle draining pasta and probably shouldn't be allowed in the kitchen? There is!
Obviously for every useless product this place sells, there are 50 products that people actually need. And in all seriousness, we think it's amazing that CVS is not selling tobacco products and putting the health of its customers over profit. You go, CVS!
What's your favorite useless product you can't help but buy at CVS?