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    Morning Bitch-Back! Reese and Jennifer: Prim Ladies Against the World!

    Jennifer Garner, Reese Witherspoon Jordan Strauss/Getty Images; Dave Hogan/Getty Images

    Dear Ted:
    It just hit me that you've mentioned before that Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Garner are friends. Could that be part of the reason Reese called out Blake Lively at the MTV Movie Awards? Reese and Jen have both experienced having younger actresses on movie sets hit on their husbands. I guess they've bonded over it! I thought Reese gave a spot-on speech. I think most people loved it! Any thoughts?
    —Election junkie

    Dear Not So Fast:
    Spot on
    ? Uh, many folks in the Universal Amphitheater were pretty appalled by Reese's sanctimonious and prudish remarks about sex, starlets and Hollywood. Blake Lively, included. Even though Reese's publicist swears her client didn't have Blake in mind when she mentioned nudie pics and such, what the hell do you think she's going to say? Of course, she's going to deny it! This craftiness is just one thing Reese shares with her equally deft BFF, Jennifer Garner. But in the end, something tells me Reese doth protest too much. I swear, she must secretly wanna make one of those raunchy sex tapes herself!

    Dear Ted:
    Let's say there was someone who recently had some scandalous shots released to the tabs. Said individual is being awfully quiet right now about round two...don't you think? I have a theory: Do you think those photos may have been somewhere they did not belong, and perhaps a spitefully scorned individual may have been responsible for these private peeks accidentally getting out? What have you heard?
    —Tara

    RELATED: Scandal Alert? Reese Witherspoon's Raucous Girls' Night Out

    Dear Det. Nameless:
    Jeez, girl, why all the subterfuge and drama? Just say it: Does Blake Lively have an enemy who released the second batch of nudie pics, about which Blake's rep still has said nothing? It would have to appear the answer is yes—and I certainly do know for a fact that Ms. Lively has her share of detractors. But don't discount the very plausible theory that Ms. Lively arranged for the release of the pics herself, even though they're all totally fakes, of course.

    Dear Ted:
    Did you not see A Single Man? Nicholas Hoult was hot in that movie. Not to mention how adorable he was in About a Boy a million years ago. Jennifer Lawrence is very talented, I get it, but really they would make a great match, both talent and looks.
    —Crystal + 2 Rescues

    Dear to the Rescues:
    Yep, Nicholas was indeed hot in that flick (just like he was in the Bullet shoot we ran yesterday), and he's been terrific in several other movies. Point being, though, for the man who's supposedly with Jennifer Lawrence, the woman who's thisclose to inheriting Kristen Stewart's tiara for the next megafranchise It girl, we were hoping for something a bit more substantial than "hot." These are early days, though, admittedly.

    Dear Ted:
    Did Robert Pattinson seem extra goofy to you at the MTV Movie Awards? What was that about? A publicity stunt? Or was he just in good spirits, and this is a side of Rob we rarely get to see in public?
    —jkingisawesome

    Dear Party Proof:
    I think you nailed it on the last one. The secret to Rob's (sometimes) spirit is something the public's about to see more of, if you smell what I'm talking about.

    Dear Ted:
    Don't you think if someone was really on heroin and had kids you should call child services? You're a pathetic loser.
    —askted

    Dear Winning!
    Who do you think you are with all your moralistic finger-pointing, Reese Witherspoon? Anyway, your question is better suited for the eye-witnesses who blab to me about what they see, babe. Those are the types of folks who should be going to the police.

    PHOTOS: 2011 MTV Movie Awards: Big Moments From the Show

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