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Ashton Kutcher, Mia Amber Davis, Bristol Palin, James Durbin, Arnold, Maria

George Pimentel/Getty Images; Moises De Pena/WireImage.com; Jimi Celeste/PatrickMcMullan.com/Sipa Press; Michael Becker/FOX; Gold Wong/FilmMagic

Why was this week different from all other weeks?

Aside from the breakup of one of the most prominent couples in showbiz and politics that created the ultimate bridge between conservatism and Kennedy-era liberalism?

Let us count the ways...

HASTA LA VISTA, BABY: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver separated after 25 years of marriage, with Shriver moving out of their Brentwood mansion and into a Beverly Hills hotel while the former first couple of California determine what to do next. The split seemed sudden, but Shriver's been standing by her big man for a long time, including times when the Gropernator didn't deserve it. Was it one too many tales of bad behavior on his part do them in, or did they just grow apart? Both maintain that their four kids remain priority No. 1, so while we're going to bet that this split is permenant, we hope the two sides keep it clean and/or loving when it comes to dividing the Schwarzenegger-Shriver empire.

Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson

Press Association via AP Images

AGING WELL: Happy 25th birthday, Robert Pattinson...iHappy 18th, Miranda Cosgrove!

WEDDING BELLS: Kings of Leon frontman Caleb Followill swapped vows with model Lily Aldridge, and it was pretty...Amazing Race winners Meghan Rickey and Cheyne Whitney tied the knot, and it rhymed.

YEAH, BABY: Alicia Silverstone welcomed her first child with hubby Chris Jarecki, son Bear Blu. Grrr...KOL member Matthew Followill had his first child with wife Johanna, son Knox Cameron Patrick...Mike Myers will be a first-time dad with second wife Kelly Tisdale...Jenna Fischer will be a first-time mom with second hubby Lee Kirk...Autumn Reeser and hubby Jesse Warren present son Finn...Angelina Jolie's tattoo may have grown but her belly is staying the same...Besides, she already gave her best maternity gown to Jack Black's wife...Katie Holmes isn't enceinte...Jessica Alba's belly is très pregnant, however...Jillian Michaels has started the adoption process.

BABY, WHOA: Marg Helgenberger apparently didn't cherish the time that Justin Bieber spent on the CSI set, and the Biebs wasn't too pleased about the shout-out, calling the move "kinda lame."

KEEPING UP: There is nary a Kardashian who isn't the focus of wedding rumors, some of them perpetuated by Kris Jenner herself.

A NEW MAN: Chaz Bono shows off the skin he's finally comfortable in, tries to dispel rumors of Cher's discomfort on Oprah, and sits down with E! Online's Marc Malkin for an exclusive chat.

AW: Check out Tori Spelling's adorable pet pig, Hank! And her new ring.

DO-OVER: Not wanting to go to trial after all, Lindsay Lohan cut a deal in her necklace theft case and was sentenced to jail time that she might be able to serve at home, as well as further counseling. She's glad it's all over, but, with Lindsay, is it ever really over?

FRIEND IN NEED: Matthew Perry is taking a month off from work (not Mr. Sunshine, because that was canceled) to recommit to his commitment to stay sober after struggling with substance abuse for years. He was last in rehab about 10 years ago...Whitney Houston also voluntarily enrolled in outpatient rehab for sobriety maintenance.

OVERREACTING: Nick Cannon theorizes why someone may have called children's services to meet with him and Mariah Carey at the hospital. You mean it wasn't because of what they named their twins?!

WAY OF THE GUN: Surely Miranda Lambert will spend some time primping before she swaps vows with Blake Shelton. But first, she had to go bag some game!

ROMANCE REPORT: Rachel McAdams and Michael Sheen aren't engaged just yet...Pia Toscano insists that she and Mark Ballas are just friends...Bar Refaeli and Leonardo DiCaprio are on the outs again...Odd couple Hayden Panettiere and boxer Wladimir Klitschko have broken up.

FEUDAL TIMES: Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's dad, Frank, says he loves his son, but he sure uses the F-word a lot...Meghan McCain handed it right back to Glenn Beck after he dissed her skin cancer awareness PSA...Certain conservatives, including Sarah Palin, took issue with Common's trip to the White House...Donald Trump is still loudly defending whatever position he happens to have at the time...Paris Hilton apologized to Lindsay for namechecking her in an unflattering manner in a preview for her new Oxygen show.

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Catherine, Kate, William

John Stillwell - WPA Pool/Getty Images

ROYAL FLUSH: Prince William and his princess (née Kate Middleton) are off on their honeymoon in the Seychelles, though it isn't the one they originally planned, thanks to a certain covert op in Pakistan...Princess Beatrice's hat-to-end-all-hats is on eBay for charity...But perhaps what the people really want is a yellow morning coat...Sarah Ferguson is bummed that she missed it all, but mainly because she wasn't invited to see it in the first place...Of course Pippa Middleton has been offered the chance to do porn, but she is never, ever going to do porn.

TV LAND: Is Glee venturing into s--t territority?...Relive the Glee prom right here...Romeo was booted from Dancing With the Stars, allowing Ralph Macchio to limp into the final four...Taylor Momsen and Jessica Szohr are done as regulars on Gossip Girl...Paula Abdul is there as X Factor auditions begin!...It's All My Children and One Life to Live's last hurrah at the Daytime Emmys, which is also just one more regular hurrah for Ellen...Meredith Vieira is not long for the Today show, but Katie Couric will be done with the CBS Evening News even sooner...NBC passes on Wonder Woman reboot...Fox makes fall lineup decisions, such as renewing House...The Vampire Diaries signed off for the season...Smallville signed off for good...Diana Agron cut her hair...Real Housewives of Beverly Hills couple Taylor and Russell Armstrong are still together...Orange County's Alexis Bellino reveals battle with anorexia and bulimia...Here come the Real Housewives of New Jersey...A pair of women took The Amazing Race yet again...Frenchie Davis is still in the running on The Voice...WWK gave you the chance to save one show, and here's what you picked (P.S. It worked!)..SPOILER ZONE!

CANNES-DY LAND: We probe the mysteries of the 2011 Cannes Film Festival, including Johnny Depp's impressive security detail, Tilda Swinton in We Need to Talk About Kevin, Rachel McAdams' gown, Lady Gaga's "Judas" performance...Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderas' bedroom connection.

SCREEN PLAY: Go see Bridesmaids this weekend...If Jennifer Aniston's ever going to be topless in a movie, you'd think it would be in Horrible Bosses...Will Ferrell will get the next Mark Twain Prize for American Humor...The Milan International Film Festival named Kristen Stewart Best Actress for Welcome to the Rileys...There wasn't room for Will Smith and his Men in Black III trailer in SoHo...Woody Harrelson joins The Hunger Games, as does Stanley Tucci...All Gotti was missing was Al Pacino, and now it's got him...What was Kermit the Frog doing at the Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides premiere at Disneyland?

Lady Gaga, Judas

E! Networks

MUSICAL NOTES: Rihanna's uncut "S&M" video was too much for the Brits to stomach over breakfast...Lady Gaga's "The Edge of Glory" premieres...All about Jesus from Lady Gaga's "Judas" video...Country stars came together for tornado relief...Shania Twain has her speaking voice back, but she continues to battle the dysphonia that keeps her from singing...

TEEN MAMA DRAMA: Leah Messer and Corey Simms happily learned that daughter Aliannah, who suffers from a developmental disorder, will be able to walk.

LAW & DISORDER: Some rich person in Hollywood is being sued for supposedly spreading herpes...Ivanka Trump's alleged stalker sent to a psychiatric facility...Britain's News of the World cuts another six-figure check, this time for Sienna Miller...Marlee Matlin is behind on her taxes...John Galliano is headed to trial for being a dummy mouth (and we're not just referring to his facial hair)...Tom Sizemore questioned in the course of an investigation into a missing female friend's whereabouts...Bethenny Frankel sued for millions...Al Reynolds wants a wad of dough from former missus Star Reynolds...Jermaine Dupri accused of being a deadbeat dad.

HOSPITAL CORNERS: Mary Tyler Moore, 74, "recovering nicely" from surgery to remove a benign tumor from her skull lining...Dancing With the Stars pro Kym Johnson took an ambulance ride after getting hurt during rehearsal...Singer Etta James hospitalized with a potentially lethal case of blood poisoning...British actress Kelly Brook suffered a miscarriage...Heather Mills broke her shoulder in a skiing accident...Reese Witherspoon spent Easter Sunday in a walking cast.

COVERAGE: Gaga goes chimera for V magazine and opens up to E!..."What about all the other cheaters?!" Jesse James wonders...Bree Olson spreads her, uh, wings for Playboy.

SURREAL ESTATE: Check out Gwyneth Paltrow's salvia, er, sage plot in London.

PRODUCT PLACEMENT: Sofia Vergara joins the CoverGirl clan...Katie Holmes recruited stepdaughter Isabella Cruise to apprentice for her Holmes & Yang line.

SEEN: Bikini-clad Miley Cyrus enjoying the beach in Brazil...Real Housewives of Orange County single lady Vicki Gunvalson shopping at Faith Connexion on Melrose with new beau Brooke Ayers...Gwyneth flashing most of her chest at the National Movie Awards in London...Lindsay Lohan supporting photographer Tyler Shields' Life Is Not a Fairytale exhibit at a downtown L.A. gallery space, though largely from a private room after the paparazzi closed in...Kate Gosselin sporting a variety of hats at the Kentucky Derby, but getting home in time to spend Mother's Day with the kids.