Why was this week different from all other weeks?
Aside from the breakup of one of the most prominent couples in showbiz and politics that created the ultimate bridge between conservatism and Kennedy-era liberalism?
Let us count the ways...
HASTA LA VISTA, BABY: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver separated after 25 years of marriage, with Shriver moving out of their Brentwood mansion and into a Beverly Hills hotel while the former first couple of California determine what to do next. The split seemed sudden, but Shriver's been standing by her big man for a long time, including times when the Gropernator didn't deserve it. Was it one too many tales of bad behavior on his part do them in, or did they just grow apart? Both maintain that their four kids remain priority No. 1, so while we're going to bet that this split is permenant, we hope the two sides keep it clean and/or loving when it comes to dividing the Schwarzenegger-Shriver empire.
METAL HEADS: With Haley Reinhart's rocky road on American Idol getting all the attention, it seemed almost certain that she would be sent home this week (and not in a private jet with the rest of the Top Three). So it was all the more surprising when "in it to win it" James Durbin was bounced from the competition, despite the judges raving to no end about how fabulous he was. While Haley deserved to stay on merit alone, it's possible that the voters were also getting back at Randy Jackson for going on and on about Journey after James perhaps chose wrong in covering "Don't Stop Believin'."
MANLY MEN: Hugh Grant seemed like a good idea, but perhaps Ashton Kutcher truly is the best choice to right the listing ship that is Two and a Half Men in the wake of Hurricane Charlie Sheen. Jon Cryer welcomes the change-up, and even the former Charlie Harper himself had kind words for the goofy-yet-serious (and seriously hot) star, though he continued to beat the drum for Chuck Lorre's demise. (Neither of which are going to help him get more visits with his daughters any sooner. His "Winning" video with family man Snoop Dogg might help, however.)
CHISELED JAW: At first she denied doing anything, but ultimately Bristol Palin admitted to having corrective surgery after people—including a few plastic surgeons—couldn't help but notice her more angular chin. But she jumped the gun! She should have waited to undergo surgery on camera for her new reality show, in which she randomly cohabitates with Kyle Massey. That's OK, she'll learn, especially if Kim Kardashian keeps offering advice.
SUDDEN LOSS: Model and Road Trip funnylady Mia Amber Davis died suddenly, most likely from a blood clot that turned into a pulmonary embolism, a day after having routine knee surgery. She was only 36 and her death prompted an outpouring of grief and tributes from family and colleagues.
YEAH, BABY: Alicia Silverstone welcomed her first child with hubby Chris Jarecki, son Bear Blu. Grrr...KOL member Matthew Followill had his first child with wife Johanna, son Knox Cameron Patrick...Mike Myers will be a first-time dad with second wife Kelly Tisdale...Jenna Fischer will be a first-time mom with second hubby Lee Kirk...Autumn Reeser and hubby Jesse Warren present son Finn...Angelina Jolie's tattoo may have grown but her belly is staying the same...Besides, she already gave her best maternity gown to Jack Black's wife...Katie Holmes isn't enceinte...Jessica Alba's belly is très pregnant, however...Jillian Michaels has started the adoption process.
AW: Check out Tori Spelling's adorable pet pig, Hank! And her new ring.
DO-OVER: Not wanting to go to trial after all, Lindsay Lohan cut a deal in her necklace theft case and was sentenced to jail time that she might be able to serve at home, as well as further counseling. She's glad it's all over, but, with Lindsay, is it ever really over?
FRIEND IN NEED: Matthew Perry is taking a month off from work (not Mr. Sunshine, because that was canceled) to recommit to his commitment to stay sober after struggling with substance abuse for years. He was last in rehab about 10 years ago...Whitney Houston also voluntarily enrolled in outpatient rehab for sobriety maintenance.
WAY OF THE GUN: Surely Miranda Lambert will spend some time primping before she swaps vows with Blake Shelton. But first, she had to go bag some game!
ROMANCE REPORT: Rachel McAdams and Michael Sheen aren't engaged just yet...Pia Toscano insists that she and Mark Ballas are just friends...Bar Refaeli and Leonardo DiCaprio are on the outs again...Odd couple Hayden Panettiere and boxer Wladimir Klitschko have broken up.
FEUDAL TIMES: Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's dad, Frank, says he loves his son, but he sure uses the F-word a lot...Meghan McCain handed it right back to Glenn Beck after he dissed her skin cancer awareness PSA...Certain conservatives, including Sarah Palin, took issue with Common's trip to the White House...Donald Trump is still loudly defending whatever position he happens to have at the time...Paris Hilton apologized to Lindsay for namechecking her in an unflattering manner in a preview for her new Oxygen show.
ROYAL FLUSH: Prince William and his princess (née Kate Middleton) are off on their honeymoon in the Seychelles, though it isn't the one they originally planned, thanks to a certain covert op in Pakistan...Princess Beatrice's hat-to-end-all-hats is on eBay for charity...But perhaps what the people really want is a yellow morning coat...Sarah Ferguson is bummed that she missed it all, but mainly because she wasn't invited to see it in the first place...Of course Pippa Middleton has been offered the chance to do porn, but she is never, ever going to do porn.
TV LAND: Is Glee venturing into s--t territority?...Relive the Glee prom right here...Romeo was booted from Dancing With the Stars, allowing Ralph Macchio to limp into the final four...Taylor Momsen and Jessica Szohr are done as regulars on Gossip Girl...Paula Abdul is there as X Factor auditions begin!...It's All My Children and One Life to Live's last hurrah at the Daytime Emmys, which is also just one more regular hurrah for Ellen...Meredith Vieira is not long for the Today show, but Katie Couric will be done with the CBS Evening News even sooner...NBC passes on Wonder Woman reboot...Fox makes fall lineup decisions, such as renewing House...The Vampire Diaries signed off for the season...Smallville signed off for good...Diana Agron cut her hair...Real Housewives of Beverly Hills couple Taylor and Russell Armstrong are still together...Orange County's Alexis Bellino reveals battle with anorexia and bulimia...Here come the Real Housewives of New Jersey...A pair of women took The Amazing Race yet again...Frenchie Davis is still in the running on The Voice...WWK gave you the chance to save one show, and here's what you picked (P.S. It worked!)..SPOILER ZONE!
CANNES-DY LAND: We probe the mysteries of the 2011 Cannes Film Festival, including Johnny Depp's impressive security detail, Tilda Swinton in We Need to Talk About Kevin, Rachel McAdams' gown, Lady Gaga's "Judas" performance...Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderas' bedroom connection.
SCREEN PLAY: Go see Bridesmaids this weekend...If Jennifer Aniston's ever going to be topless in a movie, you'd think it would be in Horrible Bosses...Will Ferrell will get the next Mark Twain Prize for American Humor...The Milan International Film Festival named Kristen Stewart Best Actress for Welcome to the Rileys...There wasn't room for Will Smith and his Men in Black III trailer in SoHo...Woody Harrelson joins The Hunger Games, as does Stanley Tucci...All Gotti was missing was Al Pacino, and now it's got him...What was Kermit the Frog doing at the Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides premiere at Disneyland?
MUSICAL NOTES: Rihanna's uncut "S&M" video was too much for the Brits to stomach over breakfast...Lady Gaga's "The Edge of Glory" premieres...All about Jesus from Lady Gaga's "Judas" video...Country stars came together for tornado relief...Shania Twain has her speaking voice back, but she continues to battle the dysphonia that keeps her from singing...
TEEN MAMA DRAMA: Leah Messer and Corey Simms happily learned that daughter Aliannah, who suffers from a developmental disorder, will be able to walk.
LAW & DISORDER: Some rich person in Hollywood is being sued for supposedly spreading herpes...Ivanka Trump's alleged stalker sent to a psychiatric facility...Britain's News of the World cuts another six-figure check, this time for Sienna Miller...Marlee Matlin is behind on her taxes...John Galliano is headed to trial for being a dummy mouth (and we're not just referring to his facial hair)...Tom Sizemore questioned in the course of an investigation into a missing female friend's whereabouts...Bethenny Frankel sued for millions...Al Reynolds wants a wad of dough from former missus Star Reynolds...Jermaine Dupri accused of being a deadbeat dad.
HOSPITAL CORNERS: Mary Tyler Moore, 74, "recovering nicely" from surgery to remove a benign tumor from her skull lining...Dancing With the Stars pro Kym Johnson took an ambulance ride after getting hurt during rehearsal...Singer Etta James hospitalized with a potentially lethal case of blood poisoning...British actress Kelly Brook suffered a miscarriage...Heather Mills broke her shoulder in a skiing accident...Reese Witherspoon spent Easter Sunday in a walking cast.
SURREAL ESTATE: Check out Gwyneth Paltrow's salvia, er, sage plot in London.
SEEN: Bikini-clad Miley Cyrus enjoying the beach in Brazil...Real Housewives of Orange County single lady Vicki Gunvalson shopping at Faith Connexion on Melrose with new beau Brooke Ayers...Gwyneth flashing most of her chest at the National Movie Awards in London...Lindsay Lohan supporting photographer Tyler Shields' Life Is Not a Fairytale exhibit at a downtown L.A. gallery space, though largely from a private room after the paparazzi closed in...Kate Gosselin sporting a variety of hats at the Kentucky Derby, but getting home in time to spend Mother's Day with the kids.