Bitch-Back! Jackles are Brothers in Arms, and Denials

Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki unite in their dismissal of the media

Dear Ted:
Have you seen the latest Jackles video posted from the Supernatural set? It's all about how they're not on any social networking sites, but I don't care about that! I want to know if they're all right—they were both looking mighty rundown in that video. Is it the engagement stress getting to them or is it something else? Please reassure me!
—Melissa

Dear Superfan:
The utterly adorable Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki—who play bros so well on Supernatural—indeed, do not look terribly hap-happy in their vid. It was made, of course, so Jackles could insist all those Twitterers and such pretending to be them are fake. Robsten should so do this! Point is, these boys hardly look like bachelors who are ecstatic to be walking down the aisle shortly. Uh, why's that? Personally, I think the hot dudes should join the Twitterverse ASAP and start following @danneelharris, bitch makes me chuckle like nobody can!

Dear Ted:
I usually don't pay attention to all the outlandish "scoops" the tabs print (I prefer to take your word for things), but what's going on with them all claiming the same thing: Not only are Brad and Angie over, but that he's coveting Jen again? It seems pretty unlikely, given how much time has passed and what he did to her, but if you remember, the tabs were crazy all over Brangelina, during their conception when he was still with Jen. It was labeled a rumor at the time, but proved to be so very true! Is it the same this time around, maybe, or are they just adding Aniston in the mix to sell mags?
—Just Wondering

Dear Troubled Triangle:
Brad's swapping of good-girl Jen for badass Angie was one of the biggest romance bombs to hit Hollywood, so it's not surprising the tabloids are still gripping at nothing to keep this triangle together. So, I would take it all with a grain of very delicious tabloid salt. Jen has put old-man Brad and homewrecking Angie in her past and there's no way she's going back for round two.

Now, if she could just start dressing like she's moved on, everybody wins!

Dear Ted:
Is the rumor about Rob Pattinson's mother wanting him to get Kristen Stewart pregnant true?
—John

Dear Baby-Mama Drama:
Hold off on the baby-bump watch—Kristen and Rob are both focusing on their booming movie careers and are happy to leave the diaper changing duties to their Twilight alter egos. For now, at least.

Dear Ted:
I am new to your site and maybe a bit naive, but does a Blind Vice mean that the person in question is a closeted homosexual?
—New Girl

Dear Fresh Meat:
A Blind Vice can definitely be about certain Hollywood hunks who secretly get it on with other hunks, but it can also be any down 'n' dirty dish the celebs don't want you to know, be it drugs, sex, backstabbing or booger-picking.

Dear Ted:
Which celebrities are the most misconstrued? Such as, which Goody Two-shoes is trouble, and which troubled star is actually better off than we think? Love ya!
—Erica

Dear The Real Deal:
I think it's safe to say that almost everyone in Hollywood is not quite as perfect as they (or their publicists) would like you to believe. If they were, there wouldn't be any need for Blind Vices, would there? I think it's also safe to say those stars who appear troubled (I'm looking at you, Lohan) are just as much of a hot mess as they appear to be. Joaquin, too, recent clean-up be damed.

Dear Ted:
What's going on here? We haven't had big news about Robsten for too long! Come on, you met Kristen at Sundance, I know that you know something! Lately you left some little clues, but nothing very big. I hope Summit has nothing to do with your decreasing news. We need you! I'm ready to fight for your press freedom!
—Ilaria

Dear Conspiracy Theorist:
Don't worry about me—Summit could never keep my lips sealed when it comes to my fave couple, but between Sundance and the Help for Haiti telethon, Rob and Kristen have both been crazy busy doing their own things lately. It won't last, though.

Dear Ted:
I just want to comment that your coverage of Robsten is shamefully the best! I'm a closet Robsten fan (I think it stems from my love of the books and Edward-Bella romance). Keep up the dirty...I mean, good...work!
—Robsten Enthusiast

Dear Come Out of the Closet:
There's no shame in loving Robsten! Two of the sexiest young stars in Hollywood starting a sizzling romance? Who wouldn't be a fan?

Dear Ted:
Is Jennifer Aniston laughing as loudly as the rest of us? Karma—what comes around goes around!
—Gino

Dear Ying and Yang:
Ms. A has been over the love triangle for a while, so why bother getting in a cheap laugh when she's looking supersexy—if unnecessarily sluttylicious—on the red carpet while the formerly hot Brangelina are looking more haggard than ever? Other than Angie ditching Brad for Jon Gosselin, that's the sweetest revenge of all, isn't it?

Dear Ted:
Thank you so much for always (almost) answering my Q's! So tell me this, what is Reese's next move going to be? Finding genuine romance or sticking to good old fauxmance? P.S.: Do some of your E! colleagues ever actually read this section? Some of them said Gyllenspoon's split came as a "shock!" Puh-leeze!
—D

Dear Looking Forward:
If I know Reese (and I do), she'll be back in the red-carpet-ready romance saddle in no time. R.W.'s still clinging to that America's Sweetheart image and she needs a somewhat innocent-looking stud by her side to make it work. As for the Gyllenspoon shock? Everyone's got their own opinions, but I was about as shocked as when Adam Lambert came out of the not-so-deep closet.

Dear Ted:
I gotta hand it to you. You found one telling picture of Brangelina! Angelina looks ancient, reminiscent of Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard. As for Brad, he looks like a pained old man with the world on his shoulders. There must be some reason for those expressions. Pray tell! Am I a meanie for being delighted?
—Annabelle

Dear Pictures Don't Lie:
If you're mean, then I'm downright vicious. With Brad apparently stinking it up as much as their supposed perfect romance, you've got to expect a little wear 'n' tear on their once glamorous images. And by a little, I mean a lot.

Dear Ted:
I never hear anything about Paul Walker or Josh Holloway. They both seem to stay far away from the public eye, which I actually appreciate. What are your thoughts?
—Amused

Dear Hideaway Hunks:
I agree—Paul and Josh are pretty good at separating their personal and professional lives and are content to stay far away from the limelight when it comes to gossip. But when these buff boys do make a public appearance? They always look good, I'll say that much! But guess what? They're far hotter when they're both not cleaned up, which is exactly how they prefer it, grass-stains 'n' all.

Dear Ted:
I think it is time to give Jon Gosselin the same treatment as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
—Gosselin No More

Dear Done With Douches:
Jon who?

Dear Ted:
Question...how come some actors (Brad, for example), cannot just be alone. Why can't they be without a partner? They break up and almost immediately they're dating someone else? Fear? Insecurity? All of the above? Keep up the good work! You're lovely.
—Ula

Dear Seldom Single:
When you are amongst Hollywood's hottest of the hot—or were, in the case of now grizzly-bearded Brad—you've always got some gal waiting in the wings to boink you as soon as you're current relationship hits the rocks (or, ahem, before). So why not move on quickly with the next available hottie? You're not actually suggesting these folks deal with their feelings first, are you?

Dear Ted:
I am wondering if John Krasinski and Emily Blunt are as truly happy and normal as they seem. Has either even been a B.V.?
—Nina

Dear Hopeless Romantic:
Nothing in Hollywood is ever as it appears, but this couple does seem pretty happy—and it's real. As for Blind Vices? Neither of them have starred in one, but that doesn't mean they won't in the future. I just wouldn't count on it happening anytime soon.

Dear Ted:
Will Reese Witherspoon make a play for Rob Pattinson when they film Water for Elephants? Was she, in fact, integral to him getting the lead role?
—Ali

Dear Who Knows:
You never know what Reese will do for a little publicity, especially when it involves "romancing" a younger stud, but I think it's safe to say Kristen doesn't have to worry about Rob leaving her for this Legally Blonde. Rob's not a game-player, remember?