Not that it's important, considering the natural disaster that occurred in Haiti this week, but there's a man-made disaster over at NBC.
So while on the serious side, our prayers go out to the victims of the Haiti earthquake and we encourage all of you to get involved, we just haven't been able to ignore the late-night comedy gold that's been unearthed since NBC finally admitted that prime-time audiences weren't ready for Jay Leno when they normally would have just been sitting down for Law & Order SVU.
Starting with the fires that have been raging once the clock strikes 10 p.m., here's your week in review...
1. We guessed that NBC was longing for the glory days of the '90s (Seinfeld or Cheers era, either one), but really? Another late-night war? Johnny Carson may not have been nuts about Jay Leno, but at least he actually rode off into the sunset after leaving The Tonight Show. Barring any huge, game-changing Hugh Grantget for Conan O'Brien, the cerebral funnyman's run as Leno's successor may be over, practically before it began, and for whichever reason—be it honor or ego—Conan has informed NBC that he doesn't want to help destroy Tonight by going on at 12:05 a.m. to accommodate a half-hour of Leno at 11:35. The bright side? From great despair has risen great comedy. Not only are Conan and Jay killin' it, but Jimmy Kimmel has emerged as both a Jay Leno look-alike and a late-night force to be reckoned with, and in going after his old network, David Letterman is having a George Carlin moment over on CBS.
2. After a 7.0 earthquake devastated the Haitian capital of Port-au-Prince on Tuesday afternoon, killing thousands and displacing who knows how many more, Hollywood immediately jumped to attention. Resident philanthropists Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie pulled $1 million out of their deep Jolie-Pitt Foundation pockets, Madonna was good for $250,000, Wyclef Jean immediately got on a plane and George Clooney is rallying his fellow A-listers for a bicoastal telethon that will air on all major broadcast networks and a host of cable outlets, including E!, next Friday night.
3. As if there wasn't going to be enough (so much Lost anticipation!) for Watch With Kristin to diligently sift through at the Television Critics' Association press tour this week... Simon Cowell bulldozed the rest of Monday's session with news that this season of American Idol will be his last. Just like his brother said last month, but still. So will he bring Paula Abdul on board The X-Factor when it touches down on American soil? Will Ryan join his pal Ellen on the Idol panel? Any which way this turns out, it's going to be the end of a cheeky era, one that made an accented opinion—be it British, German or New York Trump—a prereq for any competition show worth its salt. Anyway, with no sign of such flux behind the scenes, almost 30 million tuned into the Idol premiere, and the smoothly oiled machine didn't miss a beat (however tired the beat may be) without Paula.
4. While embraceable serial killer Dexter has been fighting his own demons, Emmy and Golden Globe nominee Michael C. Hall has been waging a far scarier battle against Hodgkin's lymphoma. The prognosis is good, according to the multifaceted actor, whose costars (well, minus wife Jennifer Carpenter, of course) had no idea he was undergoing treatment in L.A. while shooting the fourth season of Dexter. We wish him a speedy and full—and lasting—recovery!
5. Just when you thought Tila Tequila's image had no more new lows to reach... The publicity-hungry social-networking star and her publicist have parted ways in the wake of, how should we describe it, Tila's shameless zealous response to fiancée Casey Johnson's death. The manufacturing heiress was laid to rest Tuesday in New Jersey in front of an elite group of family that pointedly did not include Ms. Tequila. Funny, Monday's Larry King Live lineup pointedly did not include her, either.
6. The Spider-Man suit is moving on without Tobey Maguire to fill it and Sam Raimi to direct it. Too much creative head-butting behind the scenes, we hear. (The Broadway musical adaptation appears to be in deep trouble, too.) So a new actor, ready to fill Spidey's tights as a teen for a rebooted franchise, is needed. As is the case with every other heartthrobby role, Robert Pattinson's name has come up. (Speaking of which, there's no Breaking Dawn drama!)
9. Brooke Mueller moved back into a house where Charlie Sheen is not currently living...Hugh Hefner's going to be alone in his famous house with only one girlfriend...Poor Lady Gaga tired herself out...Channing Tatum hurt his wee-wee...Kate Gosselin was still wearing that hair...New Adam Lambert video...New Robert Pattinson movie...Taylor Lautner is ALIVE!...Mark Wahlberg's a father of four...Joey Fatone now has two...Kourtney Kardashian shows off Mason's baby pics...Claudia Schiffer's gonna grow another bump...No baby for the engaged Katy Perry right now...Michael Jackson's kids are in the money...As are Beyoncé and Jay-Z...No more free Buicks for Tiger...Jessica Simpson took her Billy Corgan romance to Twitter...Jessica Biel and Emile Hirsch made it to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro for a good cause...Michael Bublé's engaged...Miley Cyrus isn't getting married, is she?...Noah Wyle's marriage is about to end its nine-year run...Bachelor Bob's may be over, too...Get well soon, Rue McClanahan...R.I.P., Teddy Pendergrass.
10. The Hurt Locker won another Best Picture honor, this time at the 15th Annual Critics' Choice Awards. You know, the ceremony where Sandra Bullock and Meryl Streep made out. Meanwhile, do get in on our 2010 Golden Globes prediction quiz before Sunday's ceremony—which we'll be covering from top to bottom, right here on E! Online, so be sure to check us out for the very latest news, straight from the red carpet.