Taylor Lautner

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What the Kids Choice Awards lacked in Sandra Bullock, they more than made up for with Taylor Lautner's abs. And slime. Lots and lots of (often surprise) slime—bad luck, Katy Perry, Steve Carell and Tina Fey.

A galaxy of kid-friendly stars aligned in Los Angeles tonight, where Nickelodeon handed out 19 orange blimps in their 23rd annual slimefest, honoring the best in movies, sports, television and music.

As per usual, nominees' biggest liability was not being named Taylor, as both Lautner and Taylor Swift walked away the night's biggest winners, with each teen dream scooping up two prizes.

And sorry, Robert Pattinson fans, but the kids chose loud and clear: Team Jacob, 2; Team Edward…

Big ol' goose egg.

Lautner, with a fairly big assist from Kristen Stewart, took home the Cutest Couple Award, along with the prize for Favorite Movie Actor. And while Pattinson provided direct competition in the first category, he wasn't even nominated in the second. But he shouldn't feel too bad. Not even Barack and Michelle proved to be a match for the power couple that was Jacob and Bella.

Sadly, The Twilight Saga: New Moon failed to take home the big prize, losing out on the Favorite Movie award to surprise winner Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.

Guess hot vampires are no match for cute vermin.

As for Swift, she bagged Favorite Female Singer and Favorite Song, for "You Belong With Me."

Among others, she beat out Miley Cyrus for the prize. And though Cyrus also missed out on the Favorite TV Actress award (to Selena Gomez), she definitely didn't walk away empty-handed, taking home the award for Favorite Movie Actress.

Meanwhile, First Lady Michelle Obama brought some gravitas to the otherwise traditionally goofy broadcast, accepting via pretaped video the first-ever Big Help Award, thanks to her family-oriented get-fit campaign, Let's Move!

Performers at the show included Rihanna, who performed a medley of hits while being accompanied by a giant dancing robot (really), everyone's favorite Mariah-loving, manager-challenged ingénue Justin Bieber, and the night's host, Kevin James, who kicked off the proceedings by performing a special rendition of "Get Slimed Tonight" with good pal Adam Sandler.

Here's the complete list of winners for the 23rd annual Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards:

Movies

Favorite Movie: Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
Favorite Animated Movie: Up
Favorite Voice from an Animated Movie: Jim Carrey, A Christmas Carol
Favorite Movie Actor: Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Favorite Movie Actress: Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie

Music

Favorite Song: Taylor Swift, "You Belong With Me"
Favorite Music Group: Black Eyed Peas
Favorite Male Singer: Jay-Z
Favorite Female Singer: Taylor Swift

TELEVISION

Favorite TV Show: iCarly
Favorite Television Actress: Selena Gomez
Favorite Cartoon: SpongeBob SquarePants
Favorite Reality TV Show: American Idol
Favorite Television Actor: Dylan Sprouse

THE BIG HELP AWARD

• First Lady Michelle Obama

Sports

Favorite Male Athlete: Ryan Sheckler
Favorite Female Athlete: Misty May Treanor

OTHER CATEGORIES

Favorite Video Game: Mario Kart
Favorite Book: Diary of a Wimpy Kid series
Cutest Couple: Jacob & Bella (Taylor Lautner & Kristen Stewart) from The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Ultimate Dance Smack-Down: Noah Munck, Matt Shively and Fanboy and Chum Chum

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