by John Boone | Mon., Sep. 9, 2013 4:57 PM
It's official: Miley Cyrus will host Saturday Night Live when it returns for its 39th season (Tina Fey is tapped to host the premiere, with Miley picking up the second week). Brace yourself now for one and one half hours—90 minutes, minus commercials—of Miley Cyrus shenanigans.
And while Miley has said she "doesn't pay attention to the negative," we have a feeling the SNL writers are more than capable of picking out one or two things she can (and should) spoof during her hosting gig.
Here, we picked out six topics that would make for perfect skits. You're welcome, SNL.
1. Opening Monologue: A Message to the Haters ("H8ers"): Picture it: "Live from New York...It's Saturday Night!" Miley walks out wearing something more conservative. Something that covers her butt and boobs and whatever else she's been showing off lately. She stands center stage and tells the crowd she wants to reveal all (not like that). She wants to bare herself (still not like that). She wants to feel naked, like she has nothing to hide (you get the gag by now, right?)
She's ready to confront her haters. Various SNL castmembers stand up in the audience and ask Miley about all the crazy rumors out there about her. Bonus points if Liam Hemsworth makes a cameo. At the end, Miley says she feels like she's revealed everything. Then rips off the outfit to reveal her flesh-colored bikini from the VMAs. C'mon, this is Miley after all.
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2. Twerkgate at the VMAs: Miley has to spoof the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards. It's required of her. We wouldn't be surprised if it's in her SNL contract. It's one of the most noteworthy news stories of the past month. A fact that doesn't bode well for coverage of Syria. SNL is never shy about mixing politics and pop culture, so combining the two—the Energize Bunny of Twerking, Miley Cyrus, challenges Jay Pharoah's Barack Obama to a twerk-off debate about Syria or something—could make for a funny, potentially controversial skit.
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3. Miley vs. Miley: Another skit that's all but guaranteed: SNL genius Vanessa Bayer's Hannah Montana-era Miley interviews modern-day Miley on her talk show, The Miley Cyrus Show. Chaos ensues. And we think that's pretty cool. Hopefully SNL could bring Jason Sudeikis back for a spot as Billy Ray Cyrus. We'd love to finally see how he's reacting to his daughter's latest antics.
4. Miley Spoofs Justin Bieber, Round 2: Speaking of The Miley Cyrus Show, last time the real Miley guested on Live, she channeled Biebs opposite Bayer's Cyrus. Seeing as Bieber is the other big pop star currently making headlines for his sometimes-scandalous shenanigans, we'd love to see Miley don the Bieber 'do (and possibly his wispy little mustache?) once more.
5. Miley's Tongue Gives Its First Interview: During Weekend Update, talk turns to Miley's inability to keep her tongue in her mouth and the host (whoever that may be come this new season) announces that the tongue is finally going on record. Out comes Miley Cyrus in a tongue costume. The rest writes itself.
6. Something About Furries: Miley has gotten to at least second base with large, furry bears on at least two occasions. There's something there. (You know what a furry is, right?)
Or maybe the SNL writers will come up with other skits we never even dreamed of.
We'll find out Oct. 5.