To be clear: We don't mean to be insulting to the people and moments at the 2014 Teen Choice Awards when we say they make us feel old or we don't know who they are or what the hell was happening. We just mean that the last time we recognized everyone and everything at the TCAs, well, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were accepting surfboards together and doing a bit about maybe kissing each other.

It messed with our emotions. It still does, if we're being honest.

Anyway, here are all the things from the 2014 Teen Choice Awards that made us feel like old, out of touch, unhip elderly folk:

Gregg Sulkin

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1. Who is this?

Becky G

Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic

2. Who is this?

Tyler Posey, Jennifer Lopez, Teen Choice Awards

Frank Micelotta/FOX

3.The guy who played Jennifer Lopez's young son in Maid in Manhattan (Tyler Posey) now looks like that. Didn't that movie just come out? Ugh. We're ancient. 

Haley Ramm, Aisha Dee

FOX/FOX Collection/Getty Images

4. We don't know who these people are.

Tyler Posey, Sarah Hyland

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5. We remember when the Teen Choice Awards had no hosts. It just started. Now we have that girl from that thing and J.Lo's son taking us in and out of commercial breaks.

Rowan Blanchard

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6. We only know who Rowan Blanchard is because she's on a reboot of a show that we loved when we were growing up. A reboot. We're the oldest.

Lucy Hale


7. Pretty Little Liars is still on?! It swept the Choice TV categories. You know what shows used to dominate the TV categories? Friends. Dawson's Creek. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And don't you ever, ever forget about One Tree Hill

Ciara Bravo

Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

8. Young person, why are you famous?

Zendaya, Teen Choice Awards

Kevin Mazur/WireImage

9. We only know who Zendaya is because of Dancing With the Stars

Selena Gomez, Teen Choice Awards

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10. Selena Gomez, who we still consider a "whippersnapper" looked like the oldest person walking the carpet last night in her super-sensible yet sexy black suit ensemble.

Derek Theler, Rita Volk

Kevin Mazur/WireImage

11. Who are you two? Brother and sister? Actors? Singers? Tell us!

5 Seconds of Summer

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

12. We asked someone if 5 Seconds of Summer is big today like ''N Sync was and they just stared at us, confused. We shook our canes at them and started rambling incoherently about God spending a little more time on JC Chasez

Carson Lueders

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13. We legitimately thought a toddler had wandered onto the carpet until he started pointing and posing for photos.

Taylor Swift, Odeya Rush

Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty Images

14. Taylor Swift! We know who she is because she is our queen. So maybe we aren't so out of touch…um, who is she posing with?

The Simpsons


15. The Simpsons won Choice Animated Show, and that series has been on longer than most the audience at the Teen Choice Awards and half the people accepting awards have been alive.  

Asia Monet Ray

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

16. Please tell us your name, young girl.

Bridesmaids GIFs

17. Alllllll of these categories:

• Choice Web Star
• Choice Web Collaboration
• Choice Social Media King
• Social Media Queen
• Choice Twit
• Choice Viner
• Choice Instagrammer

Donald Sutherland

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

17. Our highlight of the night was Donald Sutherland accepting his award. That should tell you everything you need to know about how old we felt watching the show.

Who are you GIFs

We are 100 years old. Bye.

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