K-TOWN: Good for Kim Kardashian! Sure, she didn't "enjoy being 30 and single" or bother to "take time off for herself." But she went and got what she really wanted—happiness and a guy who seems to understand that her career comes first. At least, we think Kris Humphries looks genuinely thrilled and in love, but the flash from Kim's $2 million ring has been in our eyes a lot... Either way, their wedding, come whenever it may, is going to be huge, perhaps even royally so.
And thank you, Kim and Kris, for getting engaged when you did, because...
EW: Hey, remember, not everything's all champagne and diamonds here in Hollywood. We're still reeling in the squat copped by Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose fed-up wife, Maria Shriver, is gearing up to divorce him as a second mistress lawyers up (and starts talking) and the inevitable investigation begins into whether his screwing around screwed with California's bank account (see: John Edwards). Meanwhile, his extramarital baby mama—who at least has a daughter who loves her very much—is considering suing Entertainment Tonight for airing an interview with her ex-husband that she claims is "all lies!" Jane Seymour, come to think of it, regrets ever inserting herself into the fray.
COUNTRY STRONG: Scotty McCreery, 17, edged Lauren Alaina, 16, to become the youngest guy (and the fourth guy in a row) to win American Idol. Then, in the throes of victory, he and Lauren shared an awful lot of smooches onstage, thereby relegating his win to a footnote and their apparent puppy love to center stage! But whether they stick like glue or remain just friends, the poised and newly enriched country-rooted duo appear ready to assume the position of Idol winner and runner-up for the (young) ages. (And Steven Tyler will be back, despite his "why'd he say that?" tendencies.)
END ZONE: Hines Ward became the second NFL superstar to win Dancing With the Stars, though he's the first one to do it in the prime of his career. The Pittsburgh standout is even thinking the mirror ball will look great next to his Super Bowl MVP trophy. Kirstie Alley came close, but at least she's got all those too-big clothes that need to be packed up for the Good Will to take her mind off of second place.
MEETING OF THE MAJESTIES: What happened when Prince William and Kate Middleton received Barack and Michelle Obama at Buckingham Palace? Pure sartorial serendipity!
R.I.P.: Jeff Conaway, onetime star of Grease and Taxi, died Friday after being taken off life support, two weeks after losing consciousness. The 60-year-old actor had publicly struggled with drugs and alcohol for years. Though there was no sign of an acute overdose this time, years of abusing prescription painkillers ultimately contributed to his decline. John Travolta and Marilu Henner are among the stars paying tribute.
CIRCLE K: Thank you, Kardashians, for making sure we knew that 15-year-old Kendall Jenner is on birth control...Kourtney Kardashian spills summer bikini secrets.
BABY BOOM: Evangeline Lily and boyfriend Norman Kali are first-time parents...David Schwimmer and wife Zoe Buckman welcomed daughter Cleo...Bryce Dallas Howard and hubby Seth Gabel are waiting on their second...Brad Pitt talks to little ole us about parenting...16 and Pregnant's Jordan Ward is making way for baby No. 2.
WEDDING BELLS: Keyshia Cole and Cleveland Cavalier Daniel Gibson tied the knot...Sara Rue swapped vows with longtime love Kevin Price...Sofia Coppola and Phoenix frontman Thomas Mars are planning to make things official.
sO long: Oprah Winfrey signed off after a 25-year love affair with the most devoted audience in daytime talk show history. While she pretaped a star-studded, two-day special, her final episode was more The Last Lecture than celebratory Carsonesque send-off.
SEX IN THE AIR: ABC is catching heat for the Rihanna-Britney Spears smooch at the 2011 Billboard Music Awards.
BOMBSHELLS: Chelsea Handler reveals to the New York Times that she had an abortion at 16...Ryan Reynolds opens up about his painful divorce in Details.
FEUDAL TIMES: What does Zach Galifianakis have against January Jones?
FAREWELL: CNBC anchor Mark Haines died of as yet unannounced causes at his home; he was 65.
GRIST FOR THE MILL: Jennifer Garner pregnant?...Kara DioGuardi ODing on pot brownies at Paula Abdul's house?...John Mellencamp and Meg Ryan getting married already?...Maksim Chmerkovskiy leaving Dancing With the Stars?...Russell Brand deported from Japan.
SCREEN PLAY: The years-in-the-growing Tree of Life won the Palme d'Or at Cannes and now people without yachts can see it too...Brad will be battling his pretty hot partner in parenting at the box office this weekend...Sarah Palin is posing, er, preening, or readying for a documentary...Ed Westwick, Holly Hunter and Hailee Steinfeld are updating Romeo & Juliet...Lenny Kravitz has signed on for The Hunger Games...Rooney Mara is really getting into the spirit of Lisbeth Salander...Perhaps we're still too under the influence from the first to see The Hangover Part II, but at least the Mike Tyson tattoo issue won't prevent others from seeing it...The Muppets might be a little more badass this time around...Happy Feet 2 looks pretty darn adorable...But does The Smurfs?...Robert Pattinson and Sarah Gadon (wait, who?) get serious in Cosmopolis...George Clooney tries to connect in The Descendants...Ron Weasley gets a moment in the Harry Potter spotlight, as does Hermione...Twilight gets the spotlight in the first Breaking Dawn Part 1 poster...The Green Lantern has nowhere to go but into our faces...Chris Evans is curiously strong in Captain America...Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta are having a time of it shooting Rock of Ages...There was a minor, yet fiery, setback on The Hobbit set.
TV LAND: Christopher Meloni is leaving Law & Order: SVU after 12 seasons, and Ice-T is bummed...Glee took its final bow of the season...Lea Michele is stumping for chimps...Did House just flatline?...Idol is over, but So You Think You Can Dance is back!...Cheryl Cole is already off The X Factor...Disney no longer looking to trademark the Osama bin Laden killing team's good name...NeNe Leakes still very much a Real Housewife of Atlanta...Swift Justice will be doled out without Nancy Grace...No more Showtime for The United States of Tara...Anna Kournikova is The Biggest Loser's newest trainer (and having never won a professional single's title, also its biggest loser)...As always, the winner of The Biggest Loser feels pretty great...Are Ronnie and the Situation butting heads (and fists into faces) on Jersey Shore?...The Bachelorette is off and running (hopefully for the hills)...John Rich is the new Celebrity Apprentice.
MUSICAL NOTES: Amy Winehouse took a pre-tour detour to rehab...Friends, family and fans laid slain rapper M-Bone to rest at a public funeral in Inglewood, and his Cali Swag District bros have released a tribute single...Kelly Clarkson got herself a new puppy...Britney's boyfriend is again not her agent anymore...Taylor Swift raises money for Missouri tornado victims...What's Diddy's name now?
SURREAL ESTATE: Charlie Sheen's "Sober Valley Lodge" in Beverly Hills is on the market for $7.2 million. Or a bag of blow. Whichever you can scrape together fastest...Elizabeth Taylor's Bel-Air estate is ready to pass into another elite pair of hands in exchange for $8.6 million.
LAW & DISORDER: Estella Warren got herself into a big ole mess...Lindsay Lohan isn't going anywhere, but she did settle a lawsuit...Montana Fishburne not done paying the piper...Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson are left holding the bag...Amber Portwood's baby daddy, Gary Shirley, busted while driving, not fighting...Jenelle Evans gets a court date...Jerry Maguire cutie Jonathan Lipnicki has an ex who does not complete him...Nancy Kerrigan's brother acquitted of manslaughter in father's death...Shauna Sand won't be charged in bust-up with soon-to-be ex-husband...Willem Dafoe had a break-in at his apartment in Rome...Joseph Brooks, Oscar-winning songwriter who was awaiting trial on sexual assault charges, was found dead after apparently committing suicide. Son Nicholas is charged in the death of fashion designer Sylvie Cachay...Courtney Love is again on the defensive.
SPREAD: Scarlett Johansson tries on a variety of classic looks for W...Anna Paquin explains how she stays in good Health.
SCENE: Bono signing autographs (and, if he's smart, handing out free Spider-Man tickets) at the American Idol afterparty at the W Hollywood...Brad and Angelina Jolie shopping for party decorations in Hollywood for Shiloh's 5th birthday and taking their four oldest kids to the Kung Fu Panda 2 premiere at Grauman's Chinese Theatre...Olivia Wilde and Bradley Cooper reCooperating (sorry, had to) at the Hangover Part 2 afterparty at NYC's Top of the Standard...Kristen Stewart touching down at London's Heathrow Airport with a bodyguard in tow...Lindsay Lohan, flipping the bird and flashing her boob, in Miami...Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez stopping for pizza at Jaleo in the Cosmopolitan Las Vegas after the Billboard Music Awards...Jennifer Lopez, Victoria Beckham and Carrie Underwood showing up for Simon Fuller's induction into the Hollywood Walk of Fame...T-Pain and Ke$ha looking friendly at Bang! at Moon Nightclub at the Palms in Vegas...David Beckham taking matters into his own hands when a fan rushed the field at Old Trafford stadium.