Jemal Countess/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
Couldn't agree more with Taylor Momsen being in your Underage in Hollywood Gallery. She shouldn't be attending all these events like she is and dress the way she does! She's 16! Where is her mother?
—Janvier
Dear Stage Mom:
Her mom could be right beside this 16-year-old, egging her on. Not every mom has to be absent for her to be a bad influence—hello Dina Lohan.
Dear Ted:
I'm not buying that celebrities lose weight only by working out and eating healthy. I work out hard and eat healthy and I don't look nearly as tight and toned as they do. They must use pills, nose candy and starvation? Am I on the right track?
—Mobey
Dear Thinking Thin:
Many use all three. And some have incredibly pricey trainers and nutritionists watching their every move. I doubt there's one star out there who just goes to the gym now and again all by themselves and keeps their taut bod.
Dear Ted:
I read that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have recently become obsessed with reading the rumors involving them online, thinking they're hilarious. True? If so, you want to give them a shout-out (since if they're reading anything, they should be reading your blolumn, natch)?
—Marian
Dear Shout-Out:
If Robsten's reading this right now: Get off the friggin' computer and go smooch in public already! This waiting game is getting old.
Dear Ted:
I find it quite disturbing that Nicole Kidman is testifying in front of a Congressional hearing about violence against women when she was an eyewitness and instigator to violence against those photographers in 2008. Any thoughts?
—Tara
Dear Kidman Contradiction:
Tons!
Dear Ted:
Where did Jake Gyllenhaal's indie film career go? He had such potential after Donnie Darko, et al. Does Joseph Gordon-Levitt get all the good films, or what? Can't they share?
—Chen
Dear Joe for Jake:
JGL has definitely taken the hot, hipster-loved roles away from Jakey-poo, who's given them up in favor of buffed up, more traditional fare (Prince of Persia, dating Reese). Let's cross our fingers J.G. decides to come back to what he does best—being a good actor, not some piece of goss candy.
Dear Ted:
I'm so sick of Megan Fox, but she rocked the short hair, white flawless skin and gorge dress at the Scream Awards. Can she stay like that!
—Anna
Dear Foxy Lady:
Are you asking me or threatening me? Either way, Meg always looks made up to within an inch of her life—I'd actually like to see her toned down a notch.
Dear Ted:
I was just looking at the recent pictures of Lindsay Lohan posing with Donatella Versace, and it's sick. She's a 23-year-old girl who looks ill and old. I'm ashamed to admit this, but her father seems to care enough (or just wants the publicity, I'm sure) to at least point out the obvious: that Lindsay needs serious help. It's so sad that her mother is still using her as a pawn in her own sick, twisted, whorish game. Do you think outing her as her a B.V. would actually do any good?
—Sharon
Dear Parent Trap:
It's clear which vices L2 has—no need for me to come out and say it. And Michael Lohan is just as bad as Dina. If he had any tact, he'd handle the matter personally and deal with his daughter one-on-one, not by sending out a press release first.
Dear Ted:
Why is there so much hatred in the comments section? Methinks many of these people weren't hugged enough as children!
—P&L Jared
Dear Give Us a Cuddle:
I bet most of them are still children.
Dear Ted:
Although I agree with you that Jen Aniston would be best suited (romantically) with someone behind the scenes or out of the Biz, clearly she doesn't feel the same. So I really believe in my heart of hearts that John Stamos would be a great match for her. They are both Greek and in the same age group. They are both hot, seasoned and seem to be fun-loving. And Mr. Stamos seems to be a very romantic man. I think I'm on to something! Do you agree that John would be a good mate for her? If not, please explain why in as much juicy detail as possible.
—Christina
Dear Wants It All:
Maybe for a nice roll in the hay, but long-term, I don't see it. John's the kind of dude who (admittedly) gets drunk before doing TV interviews. Think that's the mature kind of man Aniston needs?
Dear Ted:
Do Crescent Kumquat and Jackie Bouffant know each other, as in know each other?
—M
Dear Pretty Pair:
They definitely hang around the same scene, but as far as I know, they've never shared the same sex space. Hell, I wouldn't rule it out, tho!
Dear Ted:
Katie Holmes was seen in L.A. by herself apartment hunting, and rumor has it that Suri and Grandma Holmes will join her there. Another rumor: Katie will plop li'l Suri in another Catholic preschool as she did in Boston. Has she finally seen the light and ditched Tommy Boy and the culties?
—Mook
Dear Holmes Holed Up:
Nope. Not anytime soon. She's still under the spell of being high-class royalty in H'wood.
Dear Ted:
Are there any Hollywood movers and shakers who say they are gay but who really aren't? That would be interesting. Also, is Toothy Tile Jim Carrey?
—Arparson
Dear Gay for Pay:
Toothy's got a more serious side than Carrey. Lots of gals (funny, not so with the dudes) in H'wood love saying they're bisexual just to get some extra attention, tho I seriously doubt their affections for both sexes are equal.
Dear Ted:
I saw Katie Holmes was honored with some kind of Women in Hollywood award recently. As her career is obviously nothing noteworthy, and she has never won much (if any) critical praise for talent, do you think any other Hollywood women in attendance might have been a bit offended or insulted to have to honor another simply because of the Hollywood man she married?
—Gloria S.
Dear All Hail Katie:
I bet most of them seriously wished they could trade places with Holmes for that kind of career boost.
Dear Ted:
I saw an interesting accessory on Kristen Stewart's Bella in the latest New Moon clip. During the wolf-pack scene, I couldn't help but notice Bella has traded in her signature Chucks for a pair of very familiar Nike kicks. The very pair R.Pattz has worn in pretty much every paparazzi photo ever taken. So what's the deal? Is this a nod to Robsten fans that the two are most definitely knocking booties in both the figurative and literal senses?
—Lindsay
Dear Good Eye:
It ain't a wink on purpose from New Moon's editors, but your keen eye may have caught something Summit didn't. That or Nike made a deal with 'em. Totally possible (and smart).
Dear Ted:
I love Derek Hough on DWTS. Any info on him? Which team does he play for? Also I work at a military, vet hospital and the only thing I worry about repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell is the safety of those outed. Men in the military can be exceptionally "macho." Women in the military are raped and abused by our own troops at an alarming rate. I can see that becoming a problem for openly gay soldiers as well. Any thoughts?
—Jen
Dear Macho, Macho Man:
It's unfortunate that that's would happen, but do you think it doesn't happen already? Don't be naive. And to answer your first Q, if Derek isn't telling, neither are we.
Dear Ted:
You comment a lot on Reese, Jen Garner and Gwyneth and how awful they are, but who are the bitchy men in Hollywood? I know how you respect women, so surely you don't have a double standard there, right?
—Caroline
Dear Bastard Watch:
Not like anyone wants to believe it, but Gerard Butler's a total curmudgeon.
Dear Ted:
Was reading on article on Renée Zellweger and it listed a few of the men she has been with. My question is: Is Renée the "ultimate beard"? What is her story? I can't seem to get a good read on her. What are your thoughts?
—P
Dear Reading Renée:
I already made my thoughts abundantly clear on Ms. Zellweger's choice in gentlemen callers, as well as her actress colleagues choosing such similar companions.
Dear Ted:
Is Jensen Ackles Crescent Kumquat?
—I Think I'm Right
Dear Wrongo:
Think younger. And less attached.