Bitch-Back! To Twilight, or Not to Twilight

Natasha Richardson will be missed by all

By Ted Casablanca Mar 27, 2009 1:17 PMTags
Twilight,  Robert Pattinson, Cam Gigandet, Taylor Lautner,  Kristen StewartFrederick M. Brown/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
You know I am a devoted reader and I check your website every day. However, I'm getting annoyed: It's like freakin' Groundhog Day at the Awful Truth lately. Who cares about the cast of Twilight? Yes, I adored the movie, couldn't get it out of my head for days. Then I got over it! Why is it you listen to your readers regarding all the Angelina posts, yet you basically refuse to report anything about black celebs? And please, don't try making amends by posting a pic of friggin' Will Smith. Can't we get some insider info on Amber Rose? At least bring back the daily Angelina dirt; I'm sick of your new weird fascination for all things teenybop. I am begging you, give it a rest! I'd rather read endless gossip on Teri Snatchers than one more item on that boring-ass Brit Pattinson. Johnny Depp, he is not. And don't sass me on that one, you know I'm right!
Peeved in DC

Dear Teened Out:
Honestly babe, totally understand. But you all need to make up your mind! If you don't know what I mean, please by all means do read on.

Dear Ted:
What do you really honestly think about every single person in Twilight the movie?
Riana

Dear Truthy Tile:
Kristen's
misunderstood, Rob is hot, boozy 'n' bothered, Ashley is intriguing, Nikki is annoying, Kellan is a fun frat boy, Taylor is cute and innocent, and Jackson is mysterious trouble. And the author? Really trouble, Mormon-style (the worst kind).

Dear Ted:
Regarding your comments about the upcoming Anne Hathaway pic: I agree. I think that the Weinsteins are counting on the gay dollar (again) but what they don't realize is that time has moved on. The audiences that would pack a house to see Judy have been decimated, and today's gay audience wants to see actual representation, both on and off the screen. Does my theory hold water?
Movystar

Dear Timesa Changed:
Like Anne as Britney Spears, you mean? Like it.

Dear Ted:
OK, just had to say that your pets are hysterical in the Octomom Truth, Lies & Ted. Did you see Margo? She was lounging like a pampered superstar. In fact, all of your pets seemed to be fighting for the camera spot...Do they do this automatically when you're filming? Just too cute. BTW, you are cute too.
Kim College Station, TX

Dear Petcapades:
It'll soon be Truth, Lies & Margo if I'm not careful.

Dear Ted:
You know, I'm a big fan of your column, and I have to say I did love your tribute to the fabulous Natasha Richardson. The whole thing has struck me very hard, and I'm not sure particularly why I'm taking it to such heart, but it occurred to me, after reading your column today, that maybe some of it was because [of] your columns. I'm constantly reading about awful, fake people in awful, fake relationships. Here was a beautiful, genuine and super-talented woman who was in a healthy, loving relationship. It's terrible that we have to lose anyone so young, but I think it's just a tragedy that we had to lose one of the good ones.
Deanna

Dear Gone Too Soon:
Well said.

Dear Ted:
I heard from a People magazine source that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are secretly dating. What do you know about this? C'mon man, be straight with me.
Amelia

Dear Wishful Thinking:
I wouldn't say it's that serious. 

Dear Ted:
Thank you for posting about the foie gras (I can't even spell it and don't have the energy to try) issue. Things like that need to be addressed. I love it when you get political! Don't ever stop!
Sweetsubversion

Dear Political Nonsense:
That's one thing you won't have to worry about.

Dear Ted:
Saw Reese W. on Leno's couch last week and I was mesmerized. So much so that I realized, when her spot was over, that it was all choreographed, rehearsed and—dare I say—written for her. She managed to get on and off without talking about any personal stuff. Just cute stories and acting out her new movie with action figure dolls. Seriously, she must have rehearsed that four-minute appearance for weeks. Crafty, crafty. Thoughts, Ted?
Matthowe

Dear Witherized:
Oh yeah, I'm sure R's publicist had Leno's whole crew by the balls. Scratch that. Reese probably did!

Dear Ted:
If Joaquin Phoenix was offered the part of a lifetime, would he drop this rap thing and return to acting, or is it a pipe dream that he would even be considered given his current state?
Bette

Dear Draw the Line:
He still hasn't won that Oscar yet, so I sure would think so. Oh yeah, and he's not retired FYI. 

Dear Ted:
Although I'm fairly new to your fab site, I have absolutely adored you and your witty posts from the start. Like everyone else, I'm mesmerized by the mystery of Toothy, but alas, I suspect your lips are pretty tightly sealed (for now). So I'm hoping, instead, you'll give me some info on The Rock (Dwayne Johnson). Any chance he's been the subject of one of your Blind Vices? Or one to come in the future? Call me cynical, but is anyone in Hollywood really that seemingly sweet, without having something shady going on behind closed doors?
Aleickman

Dear Smells Fishy:
No. Though Dwayne is surprisingly close. 

Dear Ted:
You wrote, "Angelina could learn from this dope," after writing about the LeAnn Rimes and Ed Cibrian affair…shouldn't it be Brad Pitt? He's the one who is married and not Angelina. And please stop hating on Angelina ... it's not her fault if Brad likes her more than you.
Sweetme

Dear Bitter Ball:
Angie was "the other," duh.

Dear Ted:
Isn't smelling something inexplicable one of the signs that you may be having a stroke? Was Natasha the only one in the party who was bothered by the "smell" of that first room? Is it possible that you have uncovered more evidence that Natasha's rapid decline was perhaps a stroke or aneurysm?
Lawrence

Dear Detective Work:
Unfortunately gossip reporting doesn't give me a badge, just lets me raise the questions.

Dear Ted:
Nikki Reed: I can't stand her. What are your thoughts on her?
Ashley

Dear Noxious Nik:
There is definitely something super-stuck-up about her. She was in the first film all of 10 minutes; I don't see why she's on such a high horse all the time. Maybe she's pissed having smelled Rob in between all those shots?

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