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    Eva Green's Dark Shadows Premiere Dress: Gotta Have It or Make It Stop?

    Eva Green Jason Merritt/Getty Images
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    Time for an exciting new episode of Right Dress, Wrong Gal!

    This week's brave player: Eva Green, slinky-eyed co-star of that new Johnny Depp flick Dark Shadows.

    In the movie, Green plays a bitchy witch bent on revenge after Depp scorns her love. Judging from Green's latest choice in gowns, she's big into method acting. That is one long, dark, magical, sparkly number...

    READ: New Dark Shadows Trailer: Five Things We Learned About Johnny Depp's Vampire Movie

    And on a taller witch it would work. On Green, however, the only effect is a girl who, even at 5-foot-6-inches, is somehow being swallowed alive by a whole lot of Tom Ford couture.

    We know this design has to work on somebody. In the Ford ad spots there's a model with a neck like a bulimic swan, and she looks terrific in that same gown.

    Yes, that model is also turned to the side and has all of her hair piled up, making her look even taller and longer than she already is. So, maybe that's the only way this can work—on a human skyscraper that has a head like the top of the Capitol dome. Maybe some gowns are just that mean.

    Better luck next time, Eva.

    PHOTOS: Flick Pics: Dark Shadows

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