Jimmy Kimmel showed several tabloid covers during his opening monologue on ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live!. "There are a lot of important and life-threatening and world changing things going on lately; sometimes it seems like more than ever. But none of them are as foundation shaking as the news we received about Brad and Angelina today," the comedian joked. "As I'm sure you've heard, Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from Brad Pitt, and of course, all the celebrity gossip magazines are claiming victory. You know, they broke this story. They broke this story every week for the last 11 years over and over and over again—until finally, it came true."
While it's "sad news" for Brangelina, it's also "great news for Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift , who now don't have to be on those covers anymore," he joked. "Apparently the reason they're getting divorced is she talked about fight club, and [Pitt] specifically asked her not to do that."
"Now that this has happened, you wonder what else the tabloids have been right about," he added. "Are [Ben Affleck] and [Jennifer Lopez] back together? Was [Kim Kardashian] dumped on her first anniversary? Is Barack Obama gay? I mean, he must be; they wouldn't put it on the cover if it wasn't true. Anyway, our thoughts are with Brad and Angelina, and with all of us. It's always hard when two people you don't know and have no personal connection to split up."
Jimmy Fallon's Brangelina mention was brief. "Here's what everyone is talking about—it's kind of sad news: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are separating," he announced on NBC's The Tonight Show. "It's pretty scary when even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are like, 'Eh, I could do better.'"
Similarly, Conan O'Brien kept his Brangelina coverage to a minimum on TBS' Conan. "The big story today is celebrity news...Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting a divorce," he said, shocking the audience. "They'll share custody 50-50: He'll take 50 kids, she'll take the other 50."
After taking a closer look at Donald Trump Jr.'s controversial tweet comparing Skittles and Syrian refugees, James Corden addressed the A-list couple's breakup, joking that it was "perhaps the most troubling news story" of the day. "It came out that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are filing for divorce and will end their relationship of 12 years. I'm taking this news especially hard because I named my daughter Brangelina. It feels like a mistake now," Corden joked on CBS' The Late Late Show. "I don't know what to do! Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift called it quits, now Brad and Angelina are breaking up. I'd make a joke, but honestly, I'm too worried about what this means for me and Justin Bieber! Angelina filed for custody of their six children, and when Brad heard that, he was like, 'We have six children? It seems like way more.' But this breakup couldn't come at a worse time. In the face of a Donald Trump presidency, Brad and Angelina's marriage was the last hope for immigrants to be welcomed into this country."
Trevor Noah feigned distress on Comedy Central's The Daily Show. "I can't believe Angelina is leaving Brad," he said. "So no more Brangelina? Is this a Brexit? Is that what this is, a Bradsit? Angeleavya? What is this? But seriously, you think you guys are devastated? Think about how Africans are feeling right now. These two were our only way out. How do you think I got here?"
Finally, Chelsea Handler signed off Netflix's Chelsea by addressing the couple's breakup. "This episode was also brought to you by Brad and Angelina's divorce. Brad and Angelina always said they wouldn't get married until everyone could get married, and I always said I wouldn't get married until they got divorced," the comedienne said. "So, I am officially accepting proposals."
Handler also called Jolie a "f--king lunatic" and shared her thoughts about Pitt, joking, "He could've been spending the last 12 years at Lake Como hanging out with George Clooney and Matt Damon instead of being stuck in a house with 85 kids speaking 15 different languages!"
Meanwhile, over on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live, Andy Cohen began the show by "pouring [drinks] out for Brangelina." When he introduced Empire co-stars Gabourey Sidibe and Jussie Smollett, Cohen joked, "Brangelina may be over but Gabussie is stronger than ever!"
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