Chip Somodevilla/Getty ImagesIf you've found yourself tuning out the current political climate more than usual, you're not alone.
Regardless of where your affiliations or ideals lie, this election season has been rough on everybody. Between the legal drama, the name-calling and the many, many players, it's nearly impossible to keep up with it all. Even if you've been glued to C-SPAN it would be understandable to feel a tad overwhelmed.
That's why, to mark this week and next week's conventions kicking off election season—and the inevitable influx of political happenings that the official nominations bring—we've decided to create a handy little guide. Since we know all of our loyal readers wouldn't miss one second of the latest pop culture news, we're explaining the RNC and DNC in language we can all relate to: Celebrities.
Besides, there's so much turmoil in the world of politics right now, everyone could use a good dose of lightheartedness where this matter is concerned.
The Conventions Themselves = Clive Davis' Pre-Grammys Party
At the time, the DNC and the RNC seem like a giant deal, just like the recording magnate's wild annual soirée. There are tons of bold-faced names. There is all sorts of pomp and circumstance. People dress up in outfits they would never wear on a normal day. But then as soon as the dust settles the morning after it's all over, everyone immediately focuses on the actual race/the actual Grammys and you realize how it was all just a tad over-the-top. But it's tradition, and you don't mess with tradition—in politics or in entertainment.
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump = Taylor Swift and Kanye West
Sure, Hillary and Donald might seem like enemies now—and there's no denying that their disagreements are very, very real—but they both belong to a very insular group of, to put it bluntly, rich New Yorkers. They got along just fine way back in the day (there's even been a photo circling of the two in an embrace years ago), and will inevitably find themselves at some sort of industry event in the future in which they put on a brave face and act congenially towards one another. Does that sound like a certain famous twosome in the news right now? Hollywood is a small town, and mark our words that there will come a day in which they make nice in the green room of an awards show.
Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton = Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow
Picture this: Two people who don't really love each other anymore but come together for the greater good. In the case of Chris and Gwyneth, they consciously re-couple on occasions when it's best for their children. For Bernie and Hillary, consider their children to be all of America. While you won't exactly catch them on lunch dates, they know that by forging a united front at the Democratic National Convention, they'll be stronger than if they were separate. They're basically the divorced parents of the Democratic party.
Ivanka Trump = Blue Ivy
They're both the daughters of moguls. They're both wunderkinds—Ivanka because she runs multiple corporations and raises an amazing family; Blue Ivy because she clearly is going to be #blessed with unrivaled musical talents. Ivanka has been called upon to be the face of her family during the campaign and DNC, and regardless of your feelings for her father, it's hard not to respect her. Sound familiar, Blue?
Chelsea Clinton = Pippa Middleton
Both of these women know what it's like to linger in the shadows. (Shadows, of course, being a relative term when applied to fame of this caliber.) And ironically, while in said familial shadow, both women are busy building themselves a little empire. How ironic, then, that this week we've seen Pippa rise to the news cycle for her own happily-ever-after, just before Chelsea prepares to take the big stage alongside her parents next week.
Paul Ryan Being Forced to Speak at the RNC = If Calvin Harris Were Forced to DJ at the Thor premiere
Paul Ryan doesn't actually like Donald Trump; he endorsed him through gritted teeth and made sure to point out the disagreements he has with Trump's platform while doing so. We get it, Paul. And yet there he is in a front-and-center speaking gig at the convention. Call it the call of duty, which is the same thing that would happen if the studio behind the next installment of Thor (which Tom Hiddleston is currently filming in Australia) enlisted one Calvin Harris to appear at, well, anything having to do with the flick.
Scott Baio Speaking at the RNC = Scott Baio Speaking Anywhere
Yeah, it's random no matter how you look at it.
The 11th Hour Push to Block Donald Trump's Nomination = If All of Hollywood Banded Together to Stop Leonardo DiCaprio From Taking the Stage to Accept His Oscar for The Revenant
Okay, so let's ignore the fact that Leo getting his hard-earned Academy Award after all those years was ever-so-slightly more agreed upon than Trump being the Republican presidential candidate. But it's pretty much the same: Trying to keep someone from accepting something that they already received on paper. The anti-Trump movement was unsuccessful, just as any imaginary anti-Leo movement would have been.
Bernie Sanders Speaking at the DNC = The Time Leo Was Snubbed for Titanic and They Asked Him to Come to the Oscars Anyway
Bernie Sanders wanted to be the person they are honoring at the Democratic Convention, not the person giving a speech honoring someone else. His appearance at the big event is what is commonly referred to as a consolation prize. And, it begs mentioning, current-day Sanders is a little bit more humble than 1998 DiCaprio.