Gustavo Caballero/Getty ImagesWell, what do you know? The man who made millions giving the Grinch a run for his money may have a heart after all.
In advance of American Idol's eighth season premiere, head curmudgeon Simon Cowell is speaking out on everything from last season's contestants ("boring") to the show's new judge ("we weren't given a choice") to Britney Spears ("a riot") to the recent apparent suicide of auditioner Paula Goodspeed ("tragic").
"First of all, we're talking about a tragedy here, and I don't want to refer to her as a stalker," he told reporters today of Goodspeed.
"What happened was awful. It hit us like an express train."
Cowell said that while the incident was tragic, he was also unsure whether it was preventable by the show: He believes the Idol crew did not, despite recent claims leveled by Paula Abdul, know the extent of the situation.
"My regret in all of this was we didn't know how troubled this person was. We genuinely didn't know...You assume everyone who enters American Idol knows the score. If you're not great, you're going to get criticism. The show is not an inherently mean show, it is an American dream show."
He added that while "something like this makes you take a step back," the show is unlikely to make an additional attempt at prescreening the thousands of contestants that turn out to open auditions and his often harsh critiques will unlikely show any signs of tempering.
"We will continue in the way that we have always done. Often we say to them beforehand, 'Welcome to American Idol, if any of you don't like criticism, don't come into the audition room.' "
He draws the line, though, at vilifying the Idol producers, whom Abdul claims were aware of the severity of Goodspeed's fanaticism.
"These guys have the utmost integrity as human beings. We're taking them on their word that they didn't know how troubled this girl was. I spoke to them after the incident, they were absolutely horrified."
As for the multitude of recently announced changes that will be coming to the Idol format this year, Cowell said he has "no idea whether this is going to work or not."
In terms of fourth judge Kara DioGuardi, Cowell was hesitant when he got the news of her addition.
"Part of me goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Another part of me says [four judges] worked in the U.K.
"There'd been talk for some time about adding a fourth judge, but we weren't given the choice. It was simply, 'This person is joining us, this is her history, and we think it's going to be good.' "
Also good in Cowell's ever discerning eyes is this year's crop of contestants, who should prevent the show, unlike in years past, from "ending up with 12 people from the Stepford Wives."
"Where we got a little bit stuck last year was he had the battle of the blondes and I couldn't separate one from the other. I'm actually optimistic about this year...What you hope you end up with is someone like Fantasia. She's an incredible person, she's got a great vibe."
So too, hopefully, will this year's crop of celebrity mentors—which, if history is any indication, once again will not include a certain former Beatle.
"We try every year to get Paul McCartney on and, for whatever reason, he won't come on," Cowell said, adding that recent guests on American Idol's U.K. version, X Factor, would be among his top choices for this season.
"We just recently had Beyoncé on the British version, who was absolutely incredible. We had Britney on, who was a riot, I loved it.
"She would be literally first on the list in any capacity. I would love to see her mentor the contestants."
Speaking of the contestants, Cowell said he felt a surge of pride with the recent—and continuing—tally of Grammy nominations picked up by Idol alum, though not exactly in a papa bear kind of way.
"You know what, I absolutely love it when that happens. A, because they deserve it.; and B, there's so much snobbery in the music business about what we do on this show, and I know how upset they all get, so I think it's fantastic."
Cowell remained cagey about his own future on the show, opting not to elaborate on comments he made last year about possibly opting out of the megahit after its 10th season.
"I'll make a decision next year as an onscreen judge," he said, going on to say that, as much as he'd probably like to believe so, he wasn't the secret of Idol's success.
"The show is successful all over the world, and I'm only on American Idol."
Still, whatever his future on the show...
"These have been the best eight years of my life."