Courtesy Olive GardenOur love for the Olive Garden hasn't been a secret, so when we were asked to taste test the latest menu item, the Piadina, we couldn't say no. This isn't however, another ode to the deliciousness of our favorite family joint, but rather an honest review of their latest menu option. It turns out, despite all its glory, Olive Garden has its off days too. Let us take you through our taste test, so you never have to traverse the dark Piadina terrain yourself.
According to Olive Garden, "Piadinas are an authentic Italian street food. They've been loved by Italians for centuries because of their signature flaky crust, fresh ingredients and savory flavors. No matter how you say it, the Piadina is a delicious new way to learn a little Italian at lunch." Alright, we appreciate The Garden playing the "fresh ingredients" and "authentic" cards here but let's see if their rendition is as fantastical and accurate as they want us to believe.
The traditional Piadina, according to fancy foodie mag Saveur, is supposed to look something like this. When we opened our cardboard to-go box, however, we questioned whether or not this was a secret collaboration with Taco Bell. Our 'sandwiches' resembled the jostled quesadillas we cry on after we drunk-beg our Uber driver to take us through the drive-through. The Piadina's come in two different varieties, chicken, and veggie. You can't mess up either of those things, right? Our mouth learned otherwise.
We sampled the chicken first. Cementing the meat bits in their place were mounds of cheese as if holding the poultry against their will. Sprinkled in were a few stringy vegetables for color, all choked up in an oil-bogged flatbread. Essentially, we had just consumed a quesadilla with an Italian identity crisis.
Pros: the included red dipping sauce seems to aim to cover up the flavor of congealing cheese, and the scent of the oil that will dribble down your chin when you try and take a bite. Cons: we could have gone to Taco Bell and paid a fraction of the price for this exact same artery-jammed experience.
Next up was the veggie Piadina, which we assumed would be a little safer. No chicken bits hanging on for dear life. Surely these vegetables could reverse the cellular damage to our insides brought on by the previous Piadina. We think we counted like, two wilted leaves, a string of soggy tomato or red pepper type things, mushrooms and mostly (again) oil, cheese and fried bread. Grilled vegetable Piadina's appear to be made by opening up a Taco Bell Crunchwrap, throwing up last night's salad inside of it, and repackaging it as a Piadina. Cons: Neither of the Piadina's are good. Pros: You're at Olive Garden, so there is still time to order a better meal.
We wanted to touch on the aftermath of this culinary experience. Turns out, the most exciting part of this meal will be the time you get to spend in the bathroom expelling the stomach-cramping mess you'd pay never to speak of again. Dairy, gluten, and oil-sensitive souls, this dish will ravage your insides. For those with less touchy-tummies, you're better than this dish. You want an Italian sandwich? Get a freakin' meatball on wheat at Subway. You want to have hallucinations of getting your stomach pumped at the emergency room? That Piadina's got you covered.
Olive Garden, you tried. Stick to what you know, breadsticks, soup, and fettuccine Alfredo. Should have played a game of #AskAlfredo before rolling out these bad boys. No hard feelings though BB's. We're sure you'll come out with something mind blowing the in near future. Sweet breadsticks with Andes Mint dipping sauce perhaps?
What do you think of the new Piadina at Olive Garden? If you've tried it, tell us your thoughts in the comments!
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