Olive GardenDo you consider marinara sauce as a safe and eco-friendly alternative to lipstick? Do your dreams consist of eating bread sticks dunked in a fish-tank's worth of Alfredo sauce? Would you trade your memory foam mattress for a bed of bruschetta if it didn't violate various health codes?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, bond with us over our emotional dependence on the Olive Garden. We've been ordering the same fettuccine Alfredo with chicken since childhood and have never looked back. Sure, as we age deeper into the wrinkles of our 20's, our bodies pay for the ingestion of creamy carbs. Steamin' Lasagna Frittata is so worth it, though...
Our lust for Olive Garden extends further than unlimited pasta and bread sticks, however. It extends, very publicly, into the Twittersphere, where we've developed a loving cyber friendship with our favorite chain.
During the course of our relationship, we discovered just how much the chain is willing to help a sister out. Bored, lonely and broke? Meet your new friend, matchmaker and coupon-slinging companion, @OliveGarden. To illustrate what we mean, follow our timeline of Twitter friendship to see how easy it is to score free goodies from the chain that loves you back.
@domxjoelle Send us their handles and we'll help you convince them! We miss you too!
? Olive Garden (@olivegarden) April 11, 2015Talk about compliments of the house!
In a bind and need some advice? Look no further than @OliveGarden's Twitter. Like the big sister you never had, they're always prepared to give you the answers to your most hard-hitting questions. Therapy is pricey and sometimes friends aren't always available. But Olive Garden is, and good company is one freebie you cannot pass up. Especially when you're as perpetually single and hungry as we are.
@shadybrady224 @domxjoelle How about a date for old times sake? We think you'll be pleasantly surprised! DM us so we can help w/ planning.
? Olive Garden (@olivegarden) April 13, 2015Speaking of single and hungry, sometimes Olive Garden will take it upon themselves to play matchmaker. If you need a lover and don't want to pay for a dating site, Olive Garden's Twitter is about to be all up in your life. Here's a tweet where OG, out of the goodness of its heart, tried to set us up on a date with a very platonic old friend. After noticing our tweets to the chain, they tried to get us back in "for old times sake."
While we're kind of down with Olive Garden making a dating app, we're fine dating their minestrone right now.
@domxjoelle We miss you too! ?? Join our eClub and you'll get a sweet coupon just for signing up! http://t.co/yXqgAs56KE ??????
? Olive Garden (@olivegarden) August 23, 2015Months later our craving struck again but we were too poor to afford the trip and the meal. Who was there for us, coupon in hand, ready to wipe our tweeted tears? Olive Garden.
It turns out these fine pasta people are more than willing to hook you up with a coupon, and all you have to do is ask. Why didn't we know about this in college?
@olivegarden I want to have my bday at ur restaurant but Katy Perry took my idea. How do I still pull it off w/out looking like a copy cat?
? Dominique Joelle (@domxjoelle) October 29, 2015Flash-forward to fall. Even though we totally thought of it first, we couldn't copy Katy Perry and have our birthday, days later, at the same place. Social suicide, you know? We tweeted them for advice on the pressing matter.
@domxjoelle We're sure we can make it special for you! When's your birthday? ??
? Olive Garden (@olivegarden) October 29, 2015Sweet seasonal Sicilian Cheesecake, what a response! What could the special surprise be? A cabaret of breadsticks dancing into our mouth? A table-side fountain of Berry Sangria? An engagement diamond with a calamari band!?
@domxjoelle Come and celebrate with us! We'll have something special for you. Send us a DM with your email address, please. ????
? Olive Garden (@olivegarden) October 29, 2015Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? If you tell OG it's your birthday, they'll send you a gift card, in your email, for a free celebratory dessert. Yo. Members of our own family didn't even get us anything and here comes Olive Garden bearing gifts. They really meant it with that old slogan "When you're here, you're family." Are they open for Thanksgiving?
Will you try and tweet OG for freebies? Tell us what you scored in the comments!
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