NBCNeed to win a court case? We can do it.
Is there a murder that needs solving? Boom, we got this.
Does someone need a tracheotomy? Move out of the way and leave it to us.
Why are we so confident in our ability to perform medical procedures and the like? Um, obviously because we've binge-watched hours of television revolving around those careers. Duh!
Grey's Anatomy. Law & Order. House. Scandal. If you've watched enough hours of TV series just like those, then you're basically qualified as a professional handler, detective, etc. So if you think you could probably survive and even thrive if you were ever thrown into the world of CSI, you're not alone.
We could totally do these jobs, right?!
1. Doctor
Seven years of medical school? Nah, we've got seven seasons of House and Grey's Anatomy and that's really all you need. We are completely confident that we could put in a chest tube with no assistance. Sure, both shows are almost exclusively about medical mysteries or freak accidents but that is pretty much how life is, right? A random side effect of binge-watching these medical shows is getting the crazy technical terms stuck in your head. You might even yell out "cardiomyopathy" in your sleep!
2. Lawyer
Law school is unnecessary when you can watch The Good Wife instead. You might not have passed the bar but you could almost definitely get your cousin acquitted of that annoying grand theft auto charge. Hey, if Elle Woods can do it...
3. Cop
You know we love our Law & Order but did you know it can qualify you to be a law enforcement officer?! (Not really, but let us dream). You can solve complicated cases because you have learned after 16 years that there are no coincidences and the first suspect is usually the bad guy. Actually, it's usually the famous guest star.
Special mention: The Wire, Blue Bloods and Chicago PD all taught us that cops can be both smart and super attractive.
4. Firefighter/Paramedic
Thanks to the hotties on NBC drama Chicago Fire, we are convinced we could beat the heat and save lots of lives. In reality this job takes bravery, sacrifice and a whole lot of strength that we literally don't have. Really, we haven't worked out in months. But hey, maybe we could at least save a cat from a tall tree. That still counts, right?
5. Forensic Scientist
Oh, you're sure who or why killed this person and/or why? We got you! After watching every episode of the multiple Crime Scene Investigation shows and Bones you can pretty much solve any crime based on the evidence alone.
6. Model
America's Next Top Model gave us major inspiration to pose and vogue. We know how to "smize" (smile with your eyes, obvs) and walk the catwalk like the one and only Ms. J taught us. We definitely wouldn't mind the nice editing the show did on all the contestants photos. Or that makeover situation. If you would like us to grace your runway, you can call us anytime. We've practiced our signature walk enough times in our living room.
7. Chef
Danger: Cooking shows like Chopped, Top Chef and Hell's Kitchen can cause you to believe you actually are a chef. You are not. You almost burnt down the house trying to make popcorn. However, you've probably watched enough cooking competitions shows to sound like you know what you're doing with a knife. Just drop phrases like "Soubise sauce" and "prep the Mirepoix" and people will think you're a baller in the kitchen. As long as they don't actually ask you to, you know, cook anything.
8. Zombie Apocalypse Survivor
The Walking Dead is basically a televised manual of how to survive the impending zombie apocalypse. (Seriously, it's coming!) After six seasons you are basically desensitized to zombies and could basically kill them without fear. You'll be fine when the zombies start taking over.
9. Fixer/Handler
Whether you prefer How to Get Away With Murder, Ray Donovan or Scandal, these expert handlers are pros at getting rid of those pesky bodies that pile up in their line of work. The HTGAWM team are not the most skilled at deposing of the deceased person, sure, but they certainly taught us a thing or two. Once you have mastered the art of "fixing" you can roll with the best of them. Just make like Olivia Pope and make your catch phrase: "it's handled!"
10. Being Fabulous/Lip-Syncing Through Life
When it comes to the fine art of lip-syncing we need to give credit where credit is due; Ru Paul is the queen of fake singing. Ru Paul's Drag Race has prepared us for a life of fun, fabulous lip-syncing glory. We can't wait until we land a career that requires those skills.
11. Paper Salesman
Sure, it's not the most exciting or notable career choice, but damn it, we could totally move some paper. Whether you prefer the U.K. version or you've seen the entire U.S. series multiple times, you've most likely learned the basics techniques to sell paper, work in an office atmosphere and even how to constantly prank your coworkers. Although it would definitely not be as fun if Michael Scott was not your boss. And it would definitely not be as sexy if you didn't have a coworker like Jim Halpert.
12. Parks and Recreation Director
Who knew local Indiana government could be so fun?! Parks and Recreation is one of the best shows ever (that is a fact, look it up) and thanks to the Pawnee crew, you probably know how to hold a town hall meeting, lobby for funding and hell, even build a park! Get out there and run for office! You might meet the love of your life or a guy like Ron Swanson. Not sure which one is better.
For more TV Scoop, here is our predictions as to what the heck is going on with How To Get Away With Murder: