Caitlyn Jenner touched on a variety of topics during her extremely candid interview with Vanity Fair, including her regrets as a parent.
For the magazine's July issue, Caitlyn—formerly known as Bruce Jenner—spoke to contributing editor Buzz Bissinger over the course of three months and also did a two-day photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz. While speaking with Bissinger, Jenner admitted that she made some errors when it came to raising her eldest kids, Burt, Cassandra, Brandon and Brody Jenner.
(With the release of her Vanity Fair cover on June 1, Caitlyn has chosen to publicly identify as a woman and E! News will refer to her using female pronouns. In stories published prior to this date, Caitlyn was referred to as Bruce and male pronouns were used.)
"I have made a lot of mistakes raising the four Jenner kids," she tells the magazine. "I had times not only dealing with my own issues but exes. [It was] very traumatic and there was a lot of turmoil in my life, and I wasn't as close to my kids as I should have been."
When Jenner first began her transition in the late 1980s, her daughter Cassandra says that's when they found a caring and loving parent, explaining that Caitlyn was a better parent when she "was moving towards his authentic self."
She added, "I would happily have traded a distant father for a loving, involved mom." Older brother Burt echoed similar sentiments, saying, "I have high hopes that Caitlyn is a better person than Bruce. I'm very much looking forward to that."
The children knew of Jenner's desire to dress in women's clothing for quite some time. In fact, Brandon and Brody opened up to Vanity Fair about a specific moment last year when Brandon accidentally walked in on their father dressed as "her."
The two brothers went over to the Malibu rental house to surf, and while putting on their wetsuits early in the morning, they saw a light on. Brandon went over to say hi to their dad, when he caught his father wearing a gown and earrings while on the computer.
Brandon told Brody they had to leave immediately, not because they were in shock, but because they knew Jenner did not want them to see her dressed like this. "He wakes up at 4:30 in the morning probably because he's not tired but [also] because that's the [only] part of the day he actually gets to be" what she wants, said Brody. "That's so sad, when you can't be like that always."
The sneaking around in women's attire happened for a very long time. When recalling endorsements and speeches made in the 1970s, Jenner tells the mag, "Underneath my suit I have a bra and panty hose and this and that and thinking to myself, they know nothing about me.
"I walk off the stage and I'd feel like a liar. And I would say, 'F--k, I can't tell my story. There's so much more to me than those 48 hours in the stadium, and I can't talk about it.' It was frustrating. You get mad at yourself…Little did they know I was totally empty inside. Totally empty."
Here's to hoping that this is the first day of a very fulfilling life for Caitlyn Jenner.