We could mockingly lead you astray for pages and pages as to what that means, but you all know: The microscopically examined movie star sat down next to Oprah Winfrey today for the first time since…yeah, that.
And except for the fact that Cruise is now the remarried father of a 2-year-old daughter—who does, in fact, partly resemble him—with a recent flop under his belt rather than a box-office topper, not a whole lot has changed.
Speaking from the sanctity of Cruise and Katie Holmes' Telluride, Colo., manse on the occasion of the 25th anniversary of the actor's breakthrough role in Risky Business, Oprah asked her pal about "the couch" and his relationship with Katie Holmes, Scientology and his beliefs, Brooke Shields, Matt Lauer and making movies.
This time, of course, she also got to ask about that in-house sonogram machine, whether he believes in God, whether Suri is his and whether—knowing that hindsight is 20/20—he would now think twice about putting his feet (not to mention his heart and soul) on the furniture.
"That was a moment and it was real," Cruise said, referring to the infamous couch jump that seemingly set off the spiral of "What's with him?" gossip.
"But I don't know if I would...knowing what I do now—yeah, I get it," he said, referring to the 24/7 media frenzy—of varying degrees of verisimilitude—that ensued. "I just felt that way [about Holmes]—and I feel that way about her. That's just how I felt."
Besides, "You were egging me on!" he challenged the daytime queen.
So knowing what he knows now about the Internet's wily ways, Cruise might not have been so...expressive. But what about all those other things?
- On his feelings for "Kate": "I can't even articulate it, what it's like, that feeling and the connection and just who she is and what she means to me. It's very special and, I think you know, Suri was born a year to the day that I met her."
- And to those who say what they have isn't real: "That's laughable to me."
- On the sonogram machine he set up in-house to monitor his child in utero: "You just want the baby to be as safe as possible."
- On the especially freaky-deaky rumors that Suri is not his child: "Someone compares your daughter to Rosemary's Baby...It's one thing to say stuff about me…this is off the charts."
- His faith: "I believe in God. There's no way you can be up here [gesturing to his beauteous surroundings] and there isn't a God."
- On Nicole Kidman, and rumors that she's been pushed out of Connor and Bella's life: "That's ridiculous. We share custody." They don't exactly all gather round the table together due to everyone's busy schedule, but..."We share custody whenever."
- On his own relationship with Connor and Bella, who at times seem to belong to his former life: "They're good people, my children. I'm proud of them. I don't want them to worry. They know I'm there. No matter what, I'm always there."
Oprah's two-part interview with Cruise continues Monday from her Chicago studio, where the topic of conversation will revert more to his career accomplishments and what made him "Tom Cruise" in the first place.