Will Ferrell probably has quite a bit of dirt in his cleats by now.
Just as he said he was going to do, on Thursday he suited up for 10 different Major League Baseball teams and took his turn at all nine positions in one day's worth of Cactus League games taking place in Arizona.
"It just dawned on me, with the transient nature of sports today, with a lot of the players changing teams all the time, that a lot of these clubs now are really looking for a clubhouse presence," Ferrell explained, deadpan, during an interview with ESPN's Mike & Mike before donning his first uniform. "You know, a 47-year-old journeyman to provide the intangibles, and that's what I can provide. By journeyman I mean someone with no baseball ability whatsoever."
His triumphant day was fully chronicled by MLB.com, which helped make this all possible, but to sum up:
Ferrell started his day off hitting and playing shortstop for Oakland Athletics at Hohokam Stadium, a camera crew capturing his exploits for an as-yet untitled HBO special, a collaboration with Funny or Die to raise money for the fight against cancer.
Then, trade No. 1 sent him to the opposing team, the Seattle Mariners.
After his legendary run, the Los Angeles Angels gave MVP center fielder Mike Trout a rest in order to benefit from Ferrell's expertise.
The Arizona Diamondbacks, the actual home team yet playing a spring game at Salt River Fields at Talking Stick, were then happy to acquire Ferrell for one 1,117-calorie Churro Dog and one D-bat Dog (a corndog stuffed with cheese and bacon). After sampling the merchandise, the Anchorman star let a few hits happen while manning left field.
So, it was no surprise that the D-backs opted to put the actor on waivers—from where he was promptly claimed by the Cincinnati Reds, in dire need of a journeyman presence at third base.
After going incognito in the dugout in a variety of beards, Ferrell was unmasked as a designated hitter at heart, so off he went to Camelback Ranch, where the Chicago White Sox were taking on the San Francisco Giants.
Dripping with jealousy, the Giants then claimed Ferrell as one of their own, ushering All-Star catcher Buster Posey (who actually played nine positions in one day, for real, for Florida State!) off to the dugout.
Not one to let any other team in the NL West have all the fun, the Los Angeles Dodgers scooped Ferrell up for their big night game against the San Diego Padres.
And after pitching a perfect game (or getting one out, whichever), Ferrell capped off his triumphant career in the major leagues in right field, as a Padre.