Sure, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott were both married to other people when they first got together. But the 40-year-old Mystery Girls star never imagined that her husband would ever cheat on her, too.
So when Spelling learned that her spouse of seven years had a two-day affair with 28-year-old Emily Goodhand during a trip to Toronto in December 2013, she was gutted. "He cheated on me. One of my worst fears came true," she tells Us Weekly. "On some level I never thought it would really happen."
Why didn't she leave him? "There are children involved," the Beverly Hills, 90210 star says of Liam, 7, Stella, 5, Hattie, 2, and Finn, 20 months. "For their sakes, I need to try to figure this out."
Spelling hopes her marriage can be saved—but she knows it won't be easy. "You don't stop loving someone because they do something really bad to you," she explains. "He was my soul mate, but he completely broke my heart. It makes you not trust anything that's happened in your relationship. But until I figure it out, I don't want my kids to know any different." She adds, "I owe this relationship more than just saying something horrible happened and dismissing it. I need to figure out if he can change."
"If I can't ever let my guard down again, then there can't be a relationship. I always said, 'If he ever cheated on me, I would be out of there!' Whether I can ever trust him again, that's the big question."
Spelling and McDermott are in the "beginning stages of therapy," she adds.
During one of the couple's therapy sessions—which was filmed for True Tori, their new Lifetime docu-series—McDermott complained about their infrequent lovemaking. When Goodhand came forward about their affair last year, she said the Chopped Canada host also told her he had a sexless marriage.
Spelling disagreed with her husband's assessment, as did their therapist. "For having four children and very chaotic schedules, I thought we had a very, very good sex life. Dean said he didn't say that to her. It's 'he said/she said,' and I obviously haven't talked to Emily so I don't know what he said to her," she says. "You know, I still don't know what Emily looks like. I have written her name in my phone multiple times for Google Images, and when it comes up, I can't look at it."