Gwyneth Paltrow's Best Breakup Advice: 7 Valuable Lessons on Love and Healing We Read on Goop

Actress' web site offers helpful tips for moving past the end of a relationship

By Jennifer Chan Mar 26, 2014 10:27 PMTags
Gwyneth PaltrowTheo Wargo/Getty Images for Lincoln Center

Breakups are never easy, and we're betting Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are doing their absolute best to stay strong during this time while in the spotlight.

And since we know that good advice is often times the best remedy for a broken heart, we couldn't help but dig up some of the best words of wisdom ever seen on Goop.

Gwyneth's famous blog dishes out plenty of useful information, typically highlighting her favorite experts, designers, recipes, workout secrets and more; so it's only fitting that she just might take some of her own thoughtful advice right now.

Here's what we found:

Be Courageous.
No doubt, it took plenty of courage to decide to part ways with a partner, and the same courage could (and should!) be applied to survive the first few stages of singledom.

"The solution to beating the odds is to understand the deeper, spiritual aspect of relationships. As you may already know, the purpose of life is to transform into better versions of ourselves. However, often we are blind to what we need to change, or our egos get in the way," an expert writes in a two-part article focused on the topic of relationships.

Raef-Ramirez/AKM-GSI

Surround Yourself With Trusted Friends.
This is the time to lean on your nearest and dearest friends to lift you up when times get tough. For Gwyneth, we're counting on besties like Tracy Anderson, Cameron Diaz and Beyoncé to step in to counsel the star.

"Friendship is one of the most enduring and wonderful gifts of being alive. Friendship is universal in humanity," writes Dr. Karen Binder-Byrnes in a Goop article entitled "Friendship Divorce."

"I believe that friendship, throughout our lives, serves as a mirror of our very essence. The love, laughter and concern we share with friends gives us a sense of self which can sometimes be thwarted within our family relations. Our friends become our historians, secret keepers and comrades on life's journey."

Take Responsibility.
In the same article, Gwyneth also interviews Cynthia Bourgeault, an Episcopal priest and writer, who shares, "The more we can take responsibility for our own emotional well-being, the more we can live comfortably in our own skin, the more friendship can become what it is truly meant to be--whether for the whole of our life or just the miracle of the present: the spontaneous overflowing of our uniquely human capacity for intimacy, compassion, and joy."

In other words, take time to reflect on what led to the end of a relationship and learn from it.

goop.com

Love Yourself.
Above all else, Paltrow has shown us that the most important thing you can do every day is to love yourself. We're hoping she does the same for herself during a fragile time like this.

"Something unloved lurks at the base of almost all relationship issues. The more each of us gives loving presence to all of ourselves, the more available we become to receive and enjoy the flow of love and harmony. An unloved part of ourselves has a tendency to look like it lives over there in the other person and leads to control and power struggles," Gay Hendricks and Kathryn Hendricks wrote for the site in 2012.

"It's much easier, more efficient and more productive to love yourself thoroughly than to try to get others to change. And we've noticed that the more people genuinely love themselves, the more harmony and creativity they generate around them."

Rescue Love.
Coming out of a relationship won't be easy, and finding the faith to trust a partner again will take time. But we've learned from a few insightful articles on Goop that love (eventually) heals all.

"There is only one way to endure. Everything that is tough and brittle shatters; everything that is cynical rots. The only way to endure is to forgive, over and over; to give back that openness and possibility for new beginning, which is the very essence of love itself. And in such a way love comes full circle and can fully "sustain and make fruitful," and the cycle begins again, at a deeper place," spiritual teacher Monica Berg writes on Goop.

"Coming back together for repair is crucial and discussing what happened and how to grow from it."

Stay Strong.
"I tell my patients that although our relationships can cause us the most pain in life, they are also the source of our greatest reward. Personal, intimate relationships temper and test us, but they also make us stronger. They ground us energetically in a world that's made of nothing but energy," Dr. Habib Sadeghi penned for the site.

"Real relationships shape and evolve us because of the grounding energy that's intrinsic to them. All our relationships, the good and bad, make us stronger and more resilient because of this. It's our relationships that heal us."

Move On.
And finally, the two encouraging words we all need to hear when something has run its course: Move on.

Bourgeault writes in a poignant blog post on Gwyneth's site that, "Sometimes it's not only okay, but downright healthy to move on. While this can be painful, as all loss of intimacy is, it becomes psychologically corrosive only when you also have to fight your expectation that it shouldn't be this way. Nobody has failed; it's just life doing its thing."

Wishing you all the best, Gwyneth and Chris.