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Scarlett Johansson, iPhone

Jason Merritt/Getty Images; Apple

Nobody is falling in love with Siri anytime ever. Mostly because nobody would fall in love with a completely incompetent waste of space in real life, someone who doesn't understand anything you say (communication is an important part of any relationship) and who only brings to the table the ability to do a Google search. (No, Siri, if we wanted to Google it, we would Google it. We know how to Google!!!) We're not being mean, we're just being honest. 

Which is probably why Siri is hella jealous of Scarlett Johnasson's character in Her.

The Spike Jonze movie is about, as described by all of your friends who saw it and loved it ("So good!"), "that guy from Walk the Line falling in love with Siri." The character is actually named Samantha in the movie and Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with her because she's a billion times more helpful than Siri. Sexier too.

So Siri has no problem talking s--t about Samantha. Just ask her, "Are you Her?"

Siri, Her, iPhone

Apple

Siri, Her, iPhone

Apple

Someone at Apple clearly thought ahead on this one. Or Siri is becoming sentient.

Siri, Her, iPhone

Apple

Oh, and if you try to start your own love story with Siri, this happens:

Siri, Her, iPhone

Apple

Oh is that so?

Well, we don't want to date you anyway.