Did you just buy a new iPhone? You did, didn't you? Maybe it was your first iPhone (welcome). Maybe you drunkenly left your old one in a taxi and had to spend a couple hundred replacing it. Maybe you dropped it in the toilet and putting it in a bag of rice didn't work and—guess what—you're a week out of your warranty.
Enjoy your iPhone 5/4S/4/3 (do they still make 3's?), loser, because the iPhone 5S is coming!
And it's going to have a fingerprint scanner. At least, that's the latest rumor circulating as Apple fans eagerly await the unveiling of the iPhone 5S in September (Apple hasn't officially announced anything, but that hasn't stopped online speculation).
9to5mac.com was the first to supposedly confirm rumors that the next iPhone model will include a fingerprint scanner, after one developer mined the upcoming iOS 7 beta software and found a "BiometricKitUI" folder.
The folder mentions "fingerprint status" and a "source familiar with the development" says that the fingerprint scanner will be used to unlock the phone. Developer Hamza Sood explained via Twitter, "iPhone home button to contain fingerprint sensor (found in beta 4)"
Rumors of the fingerprint scanner have surfaced before, but were all but validated when Apple purchased Authentec last year for $356 million. Authentec is a security company that builds fingerprint scanners and encryption tech.
In addition to the iPhone 5S, more rumors are swirling that Apple with unveil a cheaper iPhone, the 5C. The C doesn't stand for "Cheaper" but instead "Color," as the plastic case on the phone could come in different shades (and you can apparently already buy cases for the 5C).
This is great and exciting and all, Apple, but here are a few changes we wish you'd make to the iPhone before you get all fancy with your fingerprinting technology:
1. Let us delete the stocks app: For the love of all things holy, let us finally delete the stocks app. Please just let us delete it.
2. It would be nice if Siri actually understood…anything.
3. Stop autocorrecting "f--king" to "d--king": Sometimes we want to swear. Also, stop autocorrecting "hell" to "he'll."
4. Make it so that I don't have over 3GB of "Other" on my phone. Seriously, what is in other? And why is it over 3 gigabytes?! And how do I get rid of it?!?
5. Invent anti-falling-into-the-toilet technology. If we're throwing stuff out there, it'd be nice...
Once these are taken care of, then get back to scanning your thumb and whatever. Because right now we're OK typing in a password to unlock our phones. We are not OK always telling people, "Duck you!!!"