"Dear Everyone Asking What I Want For My Birthday This Year," Lost cocreator Damon Lindelof tweeted yesterday, alongside a photo of Justin Bieber wearing a spiked yellow hat.
"THIS EFFING HAT. Love, Damon"
But Lindelof's commentary on the Bieb's bold fashion choice didn't end there. Not even close: "For all those following me, please be aware that I will be obsessively tweeting about Bieber's hat for the next NINE HOURS."
For your convenience, we've separated his best tweets into three categories:
Imaginary Conversations Justin Bieber Had About That Hat
"Seriously. Do you think everyone in Bieber's entourage is like, 'HOLY S--T I LOVE THAT HAT!'"
"Bieber: 'How much for the huge yellow hat with spikes that looks painful?' Clerk: 'Fourteen Million Dollars.' Bieber: 'Sold, bitch!'"
"Yellow shiny spikes. I wear you golden love crown. Ooh baby baby. #BieberHatHaiku"
Pop Culture Connections Relating to Justin Bieber and That Hat
"The dude from The Black Keys is buying a larger, spikier hat right now."
"'That hat is f--king ridiculous.'" -- Johnny Depp, to Bieber, whilst wearing a dead peacock on his head."
"That hat looks like Pac Man wandered into the gay bar from Police Academy"
General Observations:
"FACT: The hat did NOT exist before the Russian Meteorite. Coincidence? GOOD LORD I HOPE SO."
"Bieber's hat is like one of those plants that looks that way to protect itself from predators."
"I wish I was Justin Bieber."
"I am sad and alone."
All jokes aside, Lindelof took a moment to get serious about it. He said so himself: "But seriously. WHAT THE F--K IS UP WITH THAT HAT?!?!"
And things only got worse when he got a full view picture of Bieber's outfit, "What pants? Hold on... I'm googling it n -- HOLY CHRIST ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?" (Elsewhere, Buzzfeed has likened the style of sagging to a diaper full of poop.)
Some Beliebers weren't having any of his nonsense, to which Damon responded, "Do it. Being folded sucks. RT @RealRamonaW I'm going to unfold ow you. Don't make me do it"
But one thing is certain: "Bieber's Hat died for your sins."