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Samuel L. Jackson Covers Taylor Swift's "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"

Samuel L. Jackson has made a habit of turning the everyday into the extraordinary (case in point: Go The F--k to Sleep). And during a recent appearance on London's Capital Radio, Sam did it once again when he remixed Taylor Swift 's "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together."

While Harry Styles and his third (and fourth) nipple might quiver in fear at the thought of the Django Unchained star laying down the hurt, we had a much different experience listening to the recording. Sam's voice bore into our soul.

Here is a transcription of the emotional exchange.

Samuel L. Jackson is down to play a one-armed ghost in Star Wars

"We are never, ever, ever getting back together."

Well, I don't want to get back together with you either, Samuel.

"I said we, we are never, ever, ever getting back together."

I heard you the first time! If you want to go, just go!

"You go talk to your dumb ass friends..."

Don't call my friends dumb! Samantha isn't dumb, she got held back because she had to switch schools in the middle of the year and it totally messed up her schedule. Your friends are the dumb ones!

"Talk to my friends, talk to me..."

I'm trying to talk to you, Sam! But you never listen. Listen to me, please! Please!

"But we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together!"

Stop being so mean! You told me you loved me, Sam!

"You lying, cheating, piece of—"

I already told you I never did that! Tiffani spread that rumor but there weren't even boys at that sleepover so I don't know how that would have happened. I would never lie to you!

Sam, if you're reading this, I'm sorry and I just want to get back together. Text me!

These are all the guys Taylor Swift is never getting back together with!

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