So Lance Armstrong isn't a seven-time Tour de France winner anymore (as the International Cycling Union stripped him of those titles today following allegations of doping). The cyclist has plenty of other accomplishments to be proud of.
The USADA reported that Armstrong led "the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that the sport has ever seen" (which is kind of an accomplishment in itself!), but we've decided to remind the beloved Livestrong champion of five other kinda OK titles he can be proud of:
1. Le First Cut: So he might have to repay an insurance company millions of dollars, but Armstrong will never have to return the honor of a Sheryl Crow-written song about him. Even though the couple called off their engagement!
The song in question is "Wildflower," off her album of the same name. "[It] was inspired by Lance, as well as his three kids," Crow explained to Rolling Stone. "The idea of the song is that no matter how chaotic it is, wildflowers will still spring up in the middle of nowhere."
2. Derrière du Jour: Just because he's debatably no longer the celebrated champion he once was does not mean the Lance Armstrong saga won't hit the big screen someday. Sony has been developing the project forever with Jake Gyllenhaal, Lance's real-life friend, attached.
But that's not the biggest accomplishment in all this. Armstrong should be far prouder of that stretch of time when he and Jake were constantly spotted out biking, with the future Prince of Persia star showing off his buns in biker shorts. Thanks again for that, Lance!
3. Snogger de l'Olsen: You haven't made it until you've been rumored to be romancing an Olsen twin (just ask Kanye West). Well, Lance can check that off his list, after multiple reports surfaced way back in 2007 that said the cyclist was canoodling with Ashley Olsen.
Though the alleged attraction was short-lived (it burned out after a few late-night makeout sessions, if the New York Post's eyes were not to be deceived), it happened all right. Or at least was rumored to happen. And in Hollywood does the difference really matter?
4. Roi de Plastique: That'd be the king of plastic, for all you non-Francophiles. And in this case the king of plastic bracelets. Lance may have stepped down as chairman of Livestrong, but his impact cannot be wiped out.
Without Armstrong, those iconic yellow plastic bracelets that benefited the cancer-fighting charity he founded probably wouldn't have sparked the same craze. And inspired every foundation thereafter to promote their cause via colorful wristbands. And that's not such a bad legacy, after all.