John P. Johnson/HBO
John P. Johnson/HBO
Last week we were treated to a hilariously unholy alliance between a very trippy Russell Edgington (Denis O'Hare), the Sanguinistas, Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård). Shifters were dropping like flies (can shifters even turn into flies?), fire monsters were on the warpath, fairies lit up the night, and a Mexican brujo had just gotten, literally, stabbed in the back.
But just when you thought things couldn't get any loonier, well, they just did, in this brand new episode of True Blood.
WHAT WE LEARNED
Sam, Meet Sam: The thing about being a shifter is that you can't get all ornery without turning into something you ain't supposed to. Now Luna (Janina Gavankar) looks like Sam (Sam Trammell) and she can't shift back! Not without barfin'!
Vision Quest: The Sanguinistas have met Lilith (Jessica Clark). She was all naked and awesome. Eric is having second thoughts about eating people, but Bill seems way into it. He even suggests bombing the True Blood factories so that vamps are forced to eat more humans!
Fae is Fine: Sookie's (Anna Paquin) fairy disco mitts aren't her only talent. She can see into the past, including that awful night when her parents were killed. And the vamp murderer is...we still don't know. But Claudine does!
Alpha Male: Alcide (Joe Manganiello) has found a new, um, piece of wolf tail in Rikki (Kelly Overton). When they're asked to hunt down a human as part of Alcide's quest for pack leadership, the guy balks, which gets him kicked out of the pack by JD.
High Stakes: Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) gets kidnapped by Hoyt's (Jim Parrack) new gang of supe-hatin' friends. He's supposed to off her, but instead, he springs her. And then disappears.
Old Ghosts: Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) has escaped that brujo. But out of the frying pan, into the grease: Arlene (Carrie Preston) and Holly (Lauren Bowles) now want the cook's help with Terry's (Todd Lowe) fire-spirit situation. Lafayette throws what he thinks will be a fake séance, but it's real, y'all! And he learns that the only way to escape the demon is if Terry or Patrick (Scott Foley) dies!
Back Up Off My Bustier: A bigoted frenemy from high school pushes Tara's (Rutina Wesley) buttons at Fangtasia, but Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) intervenes before Tara can, um, bite. Instead, Pam glamours the trashy frenemy, and now she's Tara's thrall!
"They say my blood tastes like a goddamn milkshake. You don't even need no straw." —Fake Fangbanger
"I need a baby. Lilith wants me to eat a baby." —Sanguinista
"I want names, I want addresses, and if I don't get 'em, my Taser's gonna ask your nuts to the big dance." —Andy Bellefleur
"Hooker, I ain't in the helpin' business no more. I am in the f--k-off-while-I-smoke-a-blunt business, and business is about to pick way the f--k up." —Lafayette
"You don't know me that well. My mad face and my happy face are the same." —Pam
And so it has come to this: Can Sookie track down her parents' killer without getting sucked dry herself? Will Terry kill Patrick so that he can return to his family? And is Vampire Bill really a Sanguinista now, or is he faking it? Sound off in the comments!