Previously on Gossip Girl, we learned Serena (Blake Lively) loves L.A. (and working!), Dan (Penn Badgley) loves Blair (Leighton Meester), Nate (Chace Crawford) still loves cougars and Chuck (Ed Westwick) is masking some issues (and bruises). Yeah, that about covers it.
Oh wait! We also learned that our favorite Upper East Side brunette Blair is harboring one big secret: She's pregnant! We had a lot of questions going into this episode. What is Blair going to do about the baby? Who is she going to tell first? Who is the father?
Before we get into that, we have to talk about that chill-inducing last scene between Dan and Blair because it was that good...
WHAT WE LEARNED
Dair Is Here to Stay: We hate to get involved with the "shipper wars," but after that final scene, this is all we have to say: Ten points for Dair!
OK, that's not all we have to say. We were just being dramatic, but holy chills, Batman! While executive producer Josh Safran has said it's "not necessarily romantic" with Dan and Blair, we can't help but find it telling that the first person Blair told about her pregnancy (she is keeping the baby , which was conceived out of love) was Dan, and when she was distraught, Blair turned to Dan again. The final scene in the loft was written to perfection, with a scared Blair asking, "What if I lose everything?" Dan, with complete sincerity, simply answers, "You'll still have me." Blair leaning on Dan and Dan kissing the top of her head? Icing on the cake. Chills. Again. Hands down, it was the best scene in the episode. (P.S.: The song playing during that scene is Rainbow Arabia's Without You.)
Also telling? Safran's "romantic" comment was later clarified by the G.G. writers on Twitter. "A wise person once said: not all romances have to be "romantic," they tweeted "They can be passionate, secret, dark, twisted, fun, fast…or dare we even say it, unrequited. But that doesn't make them any less real." We think it's safe to say the writers proved this sentiment true in tonight's episode. Whether it's with Louis or Chuck, Dan just wants Blair to be happy, which we think proves that his love for her is genuine.
An Unholy Alliance: When Dan wasn't busy saying the perfect things to Blair, he was helping...Chuck?! Wow, a pig just flew past our window. Bella Swan Chuck is having a hard time feeling anything—good or bad—so he does the only logical thing one can do in this situation: pay people to beat the Bassness right out of him. Dan steps into help Chuck and is convinced he's doing this to get Blair's attention (which hey, Chuck's done crazier things so it's a legitimate theory). When Dan finds Chuck in another alley, he gets his Willow Rosenberg on (does some research, for you sad, non-Buffy fans) and discovers Chuck has conversion disorder. Dun dun dun!
While we're pretty sure Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen) is less than pleased by this new friendship, we are kind of digging it. Chuck promised to help Dan hack into Vanessa's (Jessica Szohr) bank account to find out who is publishing his scathing satire. Are Dan and Chuck really on their way to jagged best-friends necklaces? Nate would surely want in on that action!
Nate Is the Greatest Fictional Character Ever: He bakes brownies for no apparent reason! He makes drug jokes in front of doctors! He sells out his mother to have sex with Elizabeth Hurley! While we're still not sure what Diana Payne (Hurley) is up to, we are sure it's not good. Oh Nate, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" should really be your Twitter bio at this point.
Meet the French Blair: Viewers finally got the meet another member of Louis' royal family, Princess Beatrice (Roxane Mesquida), who mistakes Blair's morning sickness and weird behavior as signs of bulimia, something Blair has struggled with in the past. Beatrice is about to tell Louis when she overhears Blair tell Dan she's preggo. In surprising turn of events, Beatrice doesn't tell her brother...for now. After learning Beatrice is working (and hooking up) with the priest to try and get Louis' throne, we're pretty sure she's saving that secret to use at the right time. Political intrigue!
The Roommate Part Deux! Serena was thrilled to meet up with Charlie, who is really Ivy in L.A. Ivy? Less than thrilled. Serena, who is staying in L.A. for a job, wants Ivy to move in with her, but Ivy is obviously hesitant...considering she's pretending to be Serena's cousin. Serena thinks Ivy is being resistant because her mother cut her off, so she talks her grandmother into giving her money. Choosing Serena and the lavish lifestyle, Ivy breaks up with her chef boyfriend and breaks his Portland-lovin' heart to move in with Serena. But twist! Serena's job is transferring her back to New York and Ivy's going with her. This is good because L.A. was starting to bore us a bit.
"We're like sisters! Cousins. Distant cousins."—Dorota upon learning about Blair's pregnancy
"Why? They only use children to sew the beading."—Blair
"Though this be madness, yet there is method in't." —Chuck quoting Shakespeare. Why? Because he's Chuck Bass.
"I could tickle you." —Dan trying to help Chuck feel good things rather than pain. No, we're not making this up.
"Even Blair Waldorf cannot bend DNA to her will." —Dan
"Thank you. I will never question the paternity of your child again." —Blair, to the Virgin Mary
WHAT LIES AHEAD
The End of TV's All-Time Greatest Bromance? Dan and Nate (or, as we like to call them, Date!) fans, look away! "That friendship is going to have some complications thrown its way very soon," Safran says. Want a hint? It partly has to do with Dan's book. That's all we're giving you!
Back to Basics: Something we loved about this episode? It (kind of) felt like a season-one or season-two episode, a bit more contained and focused on our core characters. "We have our core cast together, sort of more together than they have since season one," Safran says. "The stories, with the exception of adding Kaylee, are really our people and that's it." Smart move.
There's also going to be little treats for loyal G.G. viewers throughout the entire season. "There are little Easter eggs in almost every episode," Safran teases. "Even old Gossip Girl blasts are pulled forward." You can also expect to see a blast from the past (season two, to be exact) to appear in next week's episode. One last tease? When asked about plans for the series 100th episode, Safran would only say the writers have been watching the pilot recently. What's up, callbacks?! Wheee!
What's Diana Payne Up To? Payne may soon be giving Gossip Girl a run for her money is the gossip department. We learned she's a reporter for the New York Spectator and Safran says, "Maybe there's someone else who's going to use technology in a way that will threaten [Gossip Girl]." By someone, we think he means Payne.
"When she says something, even though she may move the chess pieces around to get what she wants, she says up top, 'This is what I want'," Safran says of Payne. "So if people don't comply, she'll move them to get what she wants." Looks like Nate is her first chess piece, no?
What did you think of tonight's episode? Who do you think is the father of Blair's baby: Chuck or Louis? What did you think of Blair and Dan's talk in the loft? Do you think they should stay just friend or would you like to see it progress into something more? Finally, Dan and Chuck's new friendship: yay or nay? Sound off in the comments!