George Clooney, Elisabetta Canalis

Mathew Imaging/

Dear Ted:
So it was reported in Chi magazine that Elisabetta Canalis caught the bouquet on her friend's wedding and she took many pictures to send to George Clooney. Is G.C. and Eli's wedding coming soon? Also, he gave a wedding gift to her friend. I guess there is no trouble in paradise, am I right? P.S. Congrats on quitting smoking, it's been six years that my mom stopped smoking!

Dear Something Blue:
We don't speak Italian (tho we love guys who do), so we'll take your word on that goss, but even if E.C. was lucky enough to snag those flowers, don't expect a wedding anytime soon...or, you know, ever. Things may seem on the up and up for these two, but I still smell something stinky. And thank heaven it's not the inside of my car anymore!

Dear Ted:
Almost a year ago you said you would give us an update—and maybe a reveal—on Twyla Babe-Sucker. C'mon, Ted, give a dog a bone. What's the latest on TBS? Big smoochies from my beagle.
—KC in NC

RELATED: Is George Clooney Ready to Ditch Elisabetta Canalis?

Dear Suck Up:
Has it really been a year? Time flies when the Vices get more and more delish. But the latest on Twy is...not too much. Really. She hasn't been up to anything new, other than trying to refrain from her wilder habits, which she's been told are hindering her career. Sad face all around.

Dear Ted:
The Rock of Ages set is just teeming with Vices! So who's got the biggest and most infamous of them all: Tom Cruise, Russell Brand or Alec Baldwin? Glad you quit smoking. It's just plain gross and doesn't suit you.
—K Bronxville, N.Y.

Dear Vice of Ages:
Funny enough, the only one not in the Blind Vice Superstars gallery. But that's not surprising to you, babe. At least, I hope not.

Dear Ted:
Well done on the cigs. How many weeks without now? You said that one of the Glee boys has a Vice, but I was wondering: Is it sexuality related, chemical, attitude or is he a backup in the Vice of one of the girls? Oh, and what do you think of Max Adler on Glee? Some great acting going on there.

Dear Sniff Sniff:
That was me crying over how naughty this devilish dude is. Or, you know, something else. As for Maxy, I think he's great on the show. He definitely gets to play a complex character—much to the dismay of some of his castmates who have been on the show longer and who have nada in terms of storyline.

Dear Ted:
Clearly Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively's joint name should be Bleo. And might I just add that if they decided to procreate, they would make some beautiful babies!

Dear Leovley:
There are so many good ones to choose from. Team Truth will have a formal meeting and pick the one we like best. And, honey, if you're seriously expecting these two to pop out a perfect blond baby anytime soon, you're crazier than, well...Blake. She's not ditching her bangin' bod—it's her bread and butter, after all.

Dear Ted:
What on earth do you mean by Brad Pitt seeing "Angelina Jolie's milkshake" and wanting to leave Jennifer Aniston? Angie doesn't have any milk to shake. If you would have said something clever like, "That was before Brad saw Angie's bunions," or "Before he saw her razor elbows that appealed to his taste in modern architecture" then I'd believe you. No straight dude (no offense to you, sugar!) wants to shack with a woman who has more corners than curves. I still believe in your other theories—that the kids are keeping them together.

Dear Lactose Intolerant:
Valid points, but unfortunately I'm talking about a different kind of milkshake. A grosser one.

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