Alexandra Wyman/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
You sound a little bit like you want Denise Richards to scold Charlie Sheen in public. I disagree with you. I don't see much wrong with her quote, since it both looks rather sincere and (for this crowd) fairly classy. I don't think it would do her girls any good if she trashed Charlie in public. As a matter of fact, I've been there myself—my dad was an addict. I've always been grateful to my mom for keeping all the anger and trash talking away from me. That said, there are things she needs to do in order to protect her girls, and I hope she does. Away from the public eye. I don't think parading her girls around is a good thing, but what else does she have by way of a career?
—A
Dear Wants It Both Ways:
You had me up until Denise needs to protect her girls. That means not take them on hotel trips with their hooker-and-drug-addicted dad who's not even done with rehab yet. Hello?
Dear Ted:
Hi, Ted or should I say Mr. Beckham, with your great new haircut! If Carey Mulligan and Tom Sturridge do become a couple, their moniker simply must be "MulliganStu!" How's that for a bowl of hot lovin'?
—Tortietude
Dear Mulling It Over:
Flattery will get you everywhere, baby. Love these two together too, random but it totally works, don't you think? Think the nickname needs to be a bit snappier though, maybe MullStu? Now hopefully they'll go on secret double dates with Robsten!
Dear Ted:
Can you please answer these questions, I am dying to know. It seems that Alexander Skarsgård's popularity has taken a major dive since hooking up with Kate Bosworth. What I want to know is why is Kate hated so much? Do you think that Alexander knows his reputation is being ruined, and do they, Kate and Alex, even like each other? He looks like he has swallowed a nail every time they are together.
—Kreen
Dear Survivor:
'Cause she's young, skinny and wears fab clothes without really ever having to work? And she's snatched an eligible bachelor like A.Skars, to boot. Otherwise, yes, Alex knows what the chitter chatter about him is, and yes, I think they very much like the fact that the other is around.
Dear Ted:
What's your opinion on the whole Glee controversy over the GQ magazine spread. I mean, I do understand they could have chosen a different theme for the photo shoot, but parents can't be so naive that teens don't know anything about sex, especially when they get to high school. Also the double-standard is ridiculous. I mean criticizing Lea Michele and Dianna Agron but saying nothing about Cory Monteith? Sure he has more clothes on, but if you're gonna blame them might as well include all the people involved.
—Al
Dear Gleeking Out:
Duh. Same crap as always: The guy gets off scandal free (just like Justin Timberlake in nipple-gate, remember?). But really, were you expecting anything else? Even if Cor had stripped down to a Speedo (ha!), poor Lea and Di would have taken the fall. I think the pictures were fine. Sexy, sure.
Dear Ted:
You know we love you, but you're really frustrating us with this JJO and DDD Blind Vice. I mean, what's the sense in being wishy-washy with us? I know that the thrill for you is watching us try to solve the Blinds, but we are loyal and will always come back to read more. I have two questions for you, and I'm hoping you can answer them directly: Are Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream actors—and I don't mean just with their public and beards—and just wondering, do you truly want us to solve your Blind Vices or do you just like driving us crazy?
—ILJR
Dear Dashed and Confused:
Yes, they're actors (admittedly, one much more than the other). Yes, if you're crafty enough to figure the Vices out, kuddos to you. Yes, it gives me a little bit of sick happiness watching you all go crazy. But trust, it would give me far more satisfaction if these dudes just came outta the damn closet. What a party it would be!
Dear Ted:
Can you tell us if Lorin Sniffle-Puss is in Glee or not? Or is it male or female?
—Forever Sunshine
Dear Puss Show:
What would possibly make you think Lor is one of those singing Gleeks? That show's full of angels!
Dear Ted:
Even though you can't write directly about "those that shall not be named," can you write indirectly about them, say in a Blind Vice?
—ontosomething
Dear Over the Hills:
Yep, the cuter one was a Vice awhile back. Really easy to figure out too. Really easy.
Dear Ted:
I just want to check in on Maribeth Bush. Has she ever attempted to get into the music biz?
—Susie Q
Dear Beth in the Biz:
Not as far as I know. If she did, it wasn't a success. Like...at all.
Dear Ted:
In regard to your Spoiler Alert for Desperate Housewives. Were you implying that Marcia Cross's Bree is going to be killed off this season (and then come back)? Or was is simply a typo and should it have been Mary Alice instead? Please ‘splain!
—Lauren
Dear Harried Housewife:
Must fess, doll, it was a brain-fart typo. Sorry about that. I just go into these weird, inexplicable comas when I write items about Desperate Housewives. Rest assured, the big wigs at D.H. would never ditch the red-haired hottie. She's one of the best they've got, no question.
Dear Ted:
I've just read that almost 4 percent of current series regulars are in the LGBT community. Which is fine, I guess. But for some reason, none of them seem to be in any of the numerous crime series. TV moguls apparently believe that male crime solvers are such virile souls that they couldn't possibly be gay! Well, I think that's just B.S., and what I'd love to see is a gay male detective(or at least a gay male member of a crime unit).
—Kittri
Dear NYPD LGBT:
Sounds good to me, babe! But I will give you this one: When Glenn Close and Rose Byrne start filming the new season of Damages (in 2011), I think they should have an affair, don't you?
Dear Ted:
I was a huge Jaylor fan and was wondering is there ever a chance of them rekindling their relationship or is it completely dead?
—Evie
Dear Jay-who?
You must be talking about Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift and not the current Jaylor (as in Jake Gyllenhaal, which is half of the reason they won't be getting back together anytime soon, actually. The other being Ashley Greene, of course. And both arrangements are working better this way, don't you think?
Dear Ted:
Has hottie Daniel Craig ever starred in a Blind Vice? If so, what did it involve? Thanks!
—Stat Cat
Dear James Blind:
Yes. Sex, sex and more sex!
Dear Ted:
JUST READ AN ARTICLE IN A MAG OVER HERE IN EUROPE SAYING ROBSTEN MAY BE ON THE OUTS. IT'S SAYING R.PATTZ GOT FRIENDLY WITH A LUCIE JONES AND HIS SIS HOOKED THEM UP, ALSO THAT K.STEW WAS GETTING VERY FRIENDLY WITH HER RILEYS DIRECTOR LAST WEEK AT THE PREMIERE. WHAT'S THE SITCH ANY TRUTH TO THESE RUMOURS?
—A VERY WORRIED FAN FROM IRELAND
Dear CONCERNED:
You really are worried, babe, but lay off the poor caps lock! Those silly Lucie Jones rumors have been around for years.