Mark Sullivan/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
Love you much. So since True Blood hasn't started up again and we are all anxiously awaiting New Moon, I have been forced to get my vamp fill from The Vampire Diaries. Never really watched Lost, but I am loving Ian Somerhalder. What's the deal with him?
—R.bird
Dear Supernatural Lover:
Mr. Somerhalder is one hot piece of ass, and as with all gorgeous types, he's got the bad-boy stories to boot, right along with the bad-boy looks. But he hasn't been a Vice'r...yet. Soon, very soon.
Dear Ted:
What the hell was wrong with Kim's face on the Atlanta Housewives reunion show?! It looked fat or puffy or swollen?
—Kc
Dear Desperately Overboard Housewife:
It's called Housewife syndrome—when these paid-for wives have nothing else to do but, shall we say, experiment with their pusses and how to stay young.
Dear Ted:
There are rumors out that Angelina Jolie is participating with the author(s) of books coming out about her. What do you think are the odds that it may be true?
—Curious
Dear Jolie Takin' Over:
Usually I would say yes...She pretty much takes control in every other aspect of her life, why not a book? But the skeletons in Angie's closet are deep. She doesn't want those out there.
Dear Ted:
I love your B.V.'s so much! They are so incredibly delicious, if I could sustain on them alone for bodily nourishment I def would. Would you be so kind as to answer a tiny question about Seymour Plow-Me-More? I would like to know if his pearlies are pretty and white, or if they could use a good buffing.
—Nikki
Dear Tighty-Whities:
Toothy wouldn't be jealous.
Dear Ted:
What the hell is up the New Moon soundtrack? It's awful. Who is responsible for these kinds of decisions? Who can we blame?
—100donkeys
Dear Playing With Fire:
It's not my kinda music to begin with (give me Britney any day) so I'm a bad judge, but I would say the majority of people like it.
Dear Ted:
The only part of Twilight I think is worthy of attention is the gorgeous and talented Jackson Rathbone. Has that hottie ever been one of your Blind Vices?
—Jacksper Fan
Dear Hots for Jack:
He hasn't, actually. Jackson doesn't seem to have that much to hide. Unusual for that cast.
Dear Ted:
Brad & Angelina seem very private. They don't parade their kids around or stage paparazzi shoots and always complain about the amount of attention they receive, which is understandable. However, why then did they do the photo shoot for W magazine where Brad took a picture of Angelina breast-feeding? That's the very opposite of being private in my opinion.
—Rachael
Dear No Privacy Here:
They don't parade their kids? What about the trail of ducklings that follow her around wherever she goes? Plus, she's done worse things (like kiss her bro on the red carpet), so a pic of her breast-feeding isn't even a drop in the Angie Inappropriate bucket.
Dear Ted:
Am I the only person who thinks T-Squared is for publicity since New Moon is coming out soon and Taylor Swift is releasing her album?
—Dayla
Dear Publicity Driven:
Not at all. But we know Taylor doesn't mind.
Dear Ted:
You are going to think this is a stupid as hell question, but how tall are Taylor and Taylor? I can't find any info on that subject on the net. They both look about 5'9". Am I right?
—Bubble
Dear No Stupid Questions:
Close, 5'10". IMDB-ed it. Of course, that site also says I'm 60, so who the ef knows.
Dear Ted:
Loved the latest video! Way to put Lindsay and her dumb bottle-blond mum in their places! I cannot stand the way that woman thinks it is OK for her kid to be falling down drunk. And the other one isn't too far behind either, sad, really. Thank you for being tough and firm on that front, she doesn't need any more enabling!
—Bbabe
Dear Losing Lohan:
Thanks, I wish Linds cared as much as you, babe.
Dear Ted:
I'm so happy to read that you love Colin Firth! I adore that sexy man, but never thought to ask about him since he's not in the media a lot (or at all). Even though I love him to death, I can totally see him as being a prick. Am I wrong? Please tell me I'm wrong! And please no hidden messages in your answer! Give it to me straight!
—Becky
Dear In Denial:
I'd like to believe he's not a prick, since I do like him. But he is British, after all. They're so like Texans: They'll verbally do ya in the back while being all gracious 'n' stuff to your face.
Dear Ted:
What's your take on George Clooney's current gal-pal's striking resemblance to Cindy Crawford (minus the trashy tattoos)? Got me thinking—is he an eternal bachelor because he can't get his best buddy's wife?
—Mkl
Dear Not G.C.'s Problem:
He's an eternal bachelor because he's George Clooney and can do whatever the hell he wants. And I see some resemblance, but then again, this current gal-pal resembles all of George's conquered women—brunette and unknown.
Dear Ted:
Me again. How about Antonio Banderas for Seymour? Could you email me back? It makes me feel special. I could use a cyber-hug today.
—Bubble
Dear Very Wrong:
Sorry—but Seymour isn't the sexy foreigner type. Hug for guessing!
Dear Ted:
All this time I thought Summit had put the lid on Robsten because of the New Moon opening. But if that were the case, I don't think TayTay would be allowed to be so public. There are new pics of T2 on sites everywhere; and where is Robsten? I'm starting to think this romance is all in our heads.
—Sally
Dear Keepin' the Lid On:
Robsten is in a hotel room, together, usually. And poor Taylor can't look single before all of his big promos coming up...Isn't that why half of Hollywood is in fake relationships anyways? It's the undercover ones that are real.
Dear Ted:
Thanks for putting Seymour Plow-Me-More back on our radar. Just wondering: Do the exclusives have to do more with Seymour's ups or his downs, how hot is the journo in question, and is he known by name?
—New Trixie
Dear Too Specific for Comfort:
Both his ups and downs. And of course the journo is known by name. I don't know any unnamed people, do you?
Dear Ted:
Is Seymour PMM Tom Cruise? Am I in the right age range?
—Bubble
Dear Too Obvious:
Wrong Vice for Cruise! Think far less chiseled.
Dear Ted:
Seriously, Ted, you haven't watched The Tudors? You would love it. Trust! Jonathan Rhys Myers is smoldering in the show, just oozes hotness.
—Mucci
Dear Tudors Advice:
Joss Stone bugs, though.