Reese Witherspoon, Jake Gyllenhaal


Dear Ted:
I just don't get it with Gyllenspoon. Reese is a calculating deceiver. (Do you remember when a reporter went up to her on the red carpet just before her split with her ex-hub saying how lucky she was with him in life and she agreed?) Jake is such a nice guy. Is she using him to give a good image of herself? Please help!

Dear Way Off:
Love ya darlin', but your Gyllenspoon decoder is way off! They're both using each other for something in this relaysh.

Dear Ted:
What is Joe Jonas doing in that awful family? It's a travesty! He's the only one who doesn't act like he's from the 19th century. I don't think he's the bad boy of the bunch, but I do think he's the black sheep. Am I right on target or way off?

Dear Jone-Fused:
Right on the  face that he's not the bad boy of the bunch...wrong that he's the black sheep.

Dear Ted:
What's the deal with these teen girls in Hollyland? Haven't they ever heard the girl code "never date you friend's ex"? I smell another public feud between pals Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift!

Dear Maybe, Maybe Not:
I feel like I keep repeating myself. Maybe one of those relationships isn't for keeps.

Dear Ted:
I am so disgusted with Summit and the idiotic promotion of Taylor and the apparent hiding of Robert Pattinson. Kristen and Rob won Best Fantasy Actor/Actress at the Scream Awards, and it wasn't even mentioned at the awards. But Taylor was front and center, when he had about 12 lines in only about four scenes in Twilight. Every poll shows the division, about 75 percent Pattinson and 25 percent Lautner. By far, the most versatile and talented actor is Pattinson; he's Summit's moneymaker.

Dear Fed Up:
If you think this is bad, prepare yourself for the next Lautner-overexposed several months. But do you really think Rob minds being in the promotional backseat? Hardly.

Dear Ted:
Gotta love Rosie O'Donnell being so forthcoming with her Angelina and Oprah talk. What is your take on her interview with Howard Stern? Also, as a side note, I just finished reading Thing of Beauty and I find it interesting that A.J. played Gia in the movie—what a perfect fit for that role...I'll say no more.

Dear Saint Jolie Doubtful:
Rosie keeps it interesting, that's for sure. Just wish she was still doing it on The View. Nobody's doing their job keeping Elisabeth in line anymore. Total vacuum.

Dear Ted:
and Will Smith were both without their significant others at the Michael Jackson movie premiere. Are they trying to tell us something?—Mookindahouse

Dear Laughable:
Not at all honey-pie.

Dear Ted:
If someone emails you a Blind Vice guess and you do not post it or give any type of reply, is it because they guessed correctly?

Dear Looking for Clues:
Sure, sometimes. But it also could be because I just didn't choose that par-tick letter. Or I'll post it if someone gives the correct answer but not exactly answer it. After all, this is a puzzle, like most people's love lives happen to be, you know.

Dear Ted:
I adore you and this site, even though lots of times I don't have any idea who you are talking about. But you're smart and funny as hell. So, what is the last gossip about Taylor Kitsch? Is he as nice as he seems? Big thank-you from South America!

Dear Meat Inspector:
You have great taste in studs. Not only is Canadian Taylor one of the smartest hunks around, he's also one of the most congenial, open and forthright—without giving us an iota of personal dirt. Why can't more Americans be this smart about their naughtier sides?

Dear Ted:
Hey, Hotstuff Boyfriend!
Your perspective on the Jonas Brothers thingy is like so unprofessional. Can you get a new job? I'd be happy for you, sexy! How old are you, anyway? Tell me you're 60-years-old! Byeee

Dear No Sense:
Is someone hyped up on Halloween candy, or what? And even though Robsten's closeted act has me feeling 60, I'm really only as old as Nikki Reed's soul.

Dear Ted:
Leona Lewis
is blabbing to the British tabloids that she turned down a kiss from Chace Crawford (who was in one of her music videos). Does she know something we don't?

Dear Interesting:
Or does she knows something we do, too?

Dear Ted:
With all the upcoming press appearances for Rob & Kristen, I'm looking forward to seeing how they dodge the inevitable question. Aren't you? Or could Summit tell the TV host not to ask about their private lives?

Dear Ding on the Second:
You better believe it—anyone getting interviews with the bunch are going to be held to a "no personal questions" agreement. TV people will stick to it. Print probably will not…but we're betting on Robsten just not answering before their PR peeps jump in.

Dear Ted:
Back off Texas, all right? I love you, but seriously, you tick me off with your comments about the state I was born, raised and continue to live in. Like people in Hollyweird aren't a big group of idiots. Look at the way they live their lives, all the gays are completely unfulfilled and unhappy with their fake personas, all the husbands and wives despise each other, marriages are a dime a dozen and the children suffer and almost always become depressed & drug addicted...No no no, where you live is as effed up as they come!

Dear Best of Both Worlds:
So, I traded one dysfunctional state for another, so what? And Texas sure has brought us some pretty lame jokers like Bush, right?

Dear Ted:
Who looks to be the next big thing to replace the very overexposed, overrated and you-have-grown-tiresome Robert Pattinson?

Dear Good Question:
Don't think he's out there yet. Seriously.

Dear Ted:
Of all the Blind Vice stars, who is your favorite to write about (excluding Toothy)?

Dear Closet Case:
That's a tough one! Maybe Fake à la Ferocity?

Dear Ted:
I've had solid faith in Robsten this entire time, but lately I find myself getting a little nervous. We haven't seen them in public together for a while now, they aren't making any New Moon appearances together, and now OK! magazine is reporting that they've split. I know you're backing off of the Robsten stuff a bit, but can you reassure us that all is still well on that front? Thanks!

Dear Outdated:
We cleared up the nonsense that Robsten has split. And even malcontent Lainey has changed her tune when reporting about Rob and Kristen. They were just seen with each other leaving VBC together, isn't that a good enough sign? Hope so—'cause it's about all you'll get!

Dear Ted:
Date me. I'm from Texas, you're from Texas...we'd click, I promise. 
Aware This Sounds Desperate

Dear Propositioned:
Or kill each other.

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