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    Bitch-Back! Who's More Annoying—Jon or Kate?

    Kate Gosselin, Jon Gosselin INFphoto.com

    Dear Ted:
    I'm baffled. Why do you keep going after Jon Gosselin, when Kate Gosselin is just as much of a con man and guilty of pimping her children out? Granted, Jon is a tool, no doubt, but a simple Google search will turn up plenty o' facts about ole Kate and her money-grubbing, witchy, and questionable parenting ways. And I'm sorry, I know everyone talks about how pretty she is?please! She looks like she's always got food stored in the sides of her cheeks à la the Godfather. All I'm saying is, she's just as evil and the media is making her out to be some kind of saint in that whole mess. And she is not. Thanks! You're the best!
    ?Mel 

    Dear Jon-Sided:
    I'm so sick of both of them I could scream. But at least Kate is still taking care of the kids and supporting them. While both Gosselins have selfish intentions, it's the whole "lesser of two evils" thing, ya know? The lesser being Kate, shocker.

    Dear Ted:
    Hey, love all you guys. Roman Polanski stinks, but I bet you smell wonderful Teddy Bear! Quick question: If Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart just gave the paps what they want (i.e., public kissing/hand holding/ass grabbing...sorry), do you think the relentless hounding and chasing would die down a bit? I personally think it would.
    ?Bubble

    Dear Picture Perfect:
    It would for a while...That first shot is going for a lot, hence the overstalking by the paparazzi. Robsten would unfortunately still be hunted down after that.

    Dear Ted:
    Love you and love Robsten, too! I have an observation and a question from the video taken on Saturday night at their hotel. I have mixed feelings on this footage. On one hand, I agree that they should not be hounded or hurt and certainly would not expect for them to stop when there is a large crowd of excited fans! However, on Saturday it appears that they simply missed the elevator and there were a couple of hotel guests just standing there waiting for the elevator as well. The paps were outside the hotel, it seems, and an onlooker took the "elevator pix" of Kristen Stewart. I guess my feeling is that since there were so few people at this one spot, it could have been an opportunity to be gracious and well, normal, which both of them seem to want so desperately. Instead, there are apologies and anxiety. My question is...Can we expect them from now on to be totally distant from fans, even when it appears that they are not in any danger? It was so weird! 
    ?Lrosenthal 

    Dear Robsten Curious:
    Yeah, after it was pointed out we totally see the fans there. And I hate to say it?but yes. I think both Rob and Kristen won't be able to have as much fan interaction as they would like. While the majority are probably just normal fans, there are too many crazies out there. It's a safety issue, not gratitude issue.

    Dear Ted:
    Please post this. Twilight fans need to sign this so that Summit gets the message their loving fans are pissed off.
    ?Momwid 

    Dear Go Getter:
    Will do. But we're sure the Twilight Moms are already on it!

    Dear Ted:
    Hope you're doing well. Just had to get this off my chest in regards to the Gosselins. I feel that they all need to pull back from the limelight. The kids aren't getting any younger and will be hearing other people's points of view in regards to their own parents (which may embarrass them as they get older). Right now the adults in the family are acting like big kids (unfortunately) and are really not focusing on what is important?the kids' welfare. The sooner they get out of the limelight, the faster they can heal as a family whether they are together or not. Love your Bitch-Backs & Blind Vices...keep up the good work (both you and the Awful team)!
    ?A Concerned Parent 

    Dear Same Page:
    Couldn't agree more! No one is thinking of all the damage this has down the road for those kids?parents and media included.

    Dear Ted:
    Just wanted to thank you for speaking out about Polanski. My mother is a rape victim, and I can't believe how many people are condoning what he did because he is a "great talent." He may be a great talent, but that doesn't mean he isn't a rapist.
    ?Sara 

    Dear Wrong Is Wrong:
    At least Kirstie Alley agrees with us. And hugs to you and your mom!

    Dear Ted:
    Love you and Team Awful! I love the TV show Bones, and I find David Boreanaz absolutely amazing. I wish I had been in the age range to appreciate Buffy and Angel. Anyway, I was wondering if he's as adorable and as nice of a family man in real life as he seems to be from interviews. Of course, if you are going to burst my bubble about him, maybe I don't want to know! Thanks! Keep up the great gossip work!
    ?Mallory 

    Dear Which Is It:
    Consider your bubble bursted. Sorry!

    Dear Ted:
    James Franco is going for unusual relationships, you wrote...One has heard.. that Franco is...ahem! GAY! Do advise if "one" is mistaken...
    ?Tarquin 

    Dear Misdirected:
    That's a question for James Franco, not me darling.

    Dear Ted:
    Of course Breaking Dawn should be done in two episodes! **SPOILER ALERT** The first one would end with Bella flatlining and we hear a baby crying. The second will start with Bella's transformation in dark silent pain. And how to do that? Let's get Quentin Tarantino to work his magic the way he did with Kill Bill. Remember, Kill Bill was supposed to be one movie, but Tarantino loved his work so much, he could not bring himself to leave much on the editing floor, and had the genius idea of selling the movie in two volumes. What do you think? P.S.: I notice you are up to the dry sarcasm part of getting over a breakup, good for you sexy fellow. Notice too that you have very forward admirers: Do not forget to share the juice with us loyal followers! Smooches from Montreal.
    ?Rita 

    Dear Two's Better Than One:
    Unfortunately, I think this is as close to a Tarantino and Twilight collaboration you're going to get. But I heart where your head is at!

    Dear Ted:
    Wishing you the best through the tough times you're going through. I'm glad you have your snuggly pet family to help cheer you up. I'm wondering: Any chance you could convince E! to ban coverage of Jon and Kate Gosselin the way it banned They Who Shall Not Be Named? I am so disgusted by them and by the way they air their dirty laundry in public with little or no thought about the effect it's having on their children. Just a thought. Please take care of yourself, because you're a wonderful person!
    ?Emily

    Dear Two for Two:
    Trust me, I am so with you on that one. Except the Gosselins unfortunately have something They Who Shall Not Be Named didn't: public interest.

    Dear Ted:
    Is Mariah Carey giving up on her music career? Her music just seems uninspired without any signs of an upswing. It's like she's just doing it for a paycheck without any artistic merit.
    ?Sweet 

    Dear Missing Mimi:
    I was such the M.C. fan, too, but I agree with you. I don't think that it's lack of talent, but lack of good material. Sucks!

    Dear Ted:
    I was never a big fan of Angelina Jolie and after the whole Brad Pitt-Jennifer Aniston thing, I dislike her even more. She's been looking a little skeletal lately, and something tells me it's not from diet and exercise. Please tell me she's not as good and wholesome as she wants us all to believe. Also are her and Brad really happy, or are they together because of all the kids?
    ?P

    Dear New Reader:
    Is Angie wholesome? Hell no! She and Brad may be happy, for now, but they do have their problems. Big ones.

    Dear Ted:
    How would you say Jared Padalecki compares to Judas Jack-off?
    ?Xo.max 

    Dear Interesting:
    They're both...cute?

    Dear Ted:
    Can you give us a little more detail on Angelina Jolie's issues? And why does Brad stay, true love?
    ?kesurface

    Dear Legally, no:
    You'll have to refer to the Blind Vices for that.

    Dear Ted:
    Longtime reader, first-time writer. I think you came close last week...but can you please out Lindsay Lohan already? I'm not even a fan, but the girl looks like death in a can. Her family obviously gives less than two poops about her, outside of how much cash she can bring them (à la Ms. Britney Spears). Not one to judge, but how much of a trainwreck can we bear to watch? Too many funerals already this year. L.L. is still young?if she gives a convincing apology, I'm sure all will be forgiven. The public loves redemption?isn't that why Christ was crucified? And I'm not Christian...just a little smart for a blond girl. BTW, so sorry about your pet loss and split...it's a lot to handle. Many hugs.
    ?Missmaam

    Dear Stretch Comparison:
    Lindsay and Christ...are about as opposite as you can get. And yes, I'm thisclose to outing Lohan's Vice because she needs help. Majorly. Right now she's closer to being in the ground than on the road to a comeback.

    Dear Ted:
    Is Emily Blunt as down-to-earth and likable as she seems to be?
    ?Erin 

    Dear Devil Wears Emily:
    Wish I could say no, since she nabbed that cutie John Krasinski. By Hollywood standards, she's down-to-earth.

    Dear Ted:
    I happen to not agree with the current group-think on the ID of Toothy Tile and Grey Goose; not that I think the current guess is not a good possibility, but the clues don't seem to mesh. Since people on the message boards are doing everything possible to force a fit, I came up with this fantasy scenario: You, Ted, are Grey Goose, and you so desperately want T.T. out of the closet that you publish the B.V.'s, get into an argument with your lovah, and then have amazing makeup sex which gets you through till next time. That would probably make Margo Baby Tile. Yes, I know it's a fantasy, but I hope it gives you a chuckle. XXOO
    ?Jasmolak

    Dear Far-Fetched:
    Chuckle indeed! Hope your career involves fictional writing.

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