Michael Lohan is about to go all former commander-in-chief on someone's, well, you know, vowing to track down the "evildoers" responsible for breaking into his daughter's Hollywood home over the weekend.
Here's hoping his mission ends up accomplished.
According to the patriarch, Team Lohan is bringing in some hired hands to discover whose sticky fingers burgled Lindsay Lohan's house. Per Michael, it's not only the second time in three months that LiLo has been burglarized—it's also going to be the last.
"I am coming into town to work with private investigators in order to gather evidence which will be turned over to LAPD and the detectives assigned to the case," Lohan told E! News.
"This time, these evildoers will be caught."
And with Papa Lohan on the case, no one seems to have higher hopes for swift justice than, well, Papa Lohan himself, who apparently is both mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore.
"If we are fortunate, we just might find out who the culprits were from the other thefts as well," he said.
"My children are not going to be subject to violations of this or any kind any longer. Especially when they always give to others, and it seems some of these very individuals are the ones behind these crimes.
"Dina and I are finished with this nonsense."
Evildoers, consider yourselves warned.
Check out some of La Lohan's best sartorial hits (and a few misses) in our Fashion Spotlight gallery.