Kathy Griffin is back with a vengeance.
Season five of My Life on the D-List doesn't premiere until June, but this Wednesday, her stand-up special She'll Cut a Bitch premieres on Bravo, and she hosts the second annual A-List Awards telecast. Trust us, much comedy ensues.
Keep reading for all the goods on D-List, how Kathy's moving up to the A-list with help from the likes of Paris Hilton and all the crazy steps she's taking in between.
The D-List's A-Listers: Season five of D-List starts big. "Episode one is Bette Midler! I go to Vegas and spend the night with her. It was my gay boy dream come true," says Kathy. "The theme this year is that I'm an A-lister in training. Rosie O'Donnell comes with me to the Gloria Estefan compound. Gloria basically owns half of Miami, you know. There's this great moment where she takes me out on her boat, and she gets on a megaphone, and she's yelling at P. Diddy in his house in Spanish." And it gets better from there. In fact, while we were talking to Kathy, she was on her way to Melissa Etheridge's house to film a special episode about Proposition 8. "I'm doing a secret show at the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center, so that's going to be our serious episode."
Paris Hilton's New BFF: "One of the episodes on the D-List this year is that I enter Young Hollywood in an attempt to get on the A-list." Remember those panty-flashin' pics that popped up all over the Internet a few weeks ago? It's just Kathy's little nod to the recent Young Hollywood trend. "Paris Hilton changed my career because here's what happened. I spend the day with her, and it was all a blur to me. The producers go, 'Well Paris is going to buy you a bikini.' I'm in a f--king bikini next to Paris Hilton! I think you should know that I was in all the tabloid weeklies as having a hot bikini bod. I feel like I'm tired of being seen as a mere bikini sex object, but I'm a person. I also spend the day with T.I., who I just want to say, I feel fell very deeply in love with me. So his baby mama better look out because I think he has a very serious sexual attraction to me."
A-List Awards: This year, the A-List awards saw some huge names—Justin Timberlake, Sandra Bullock—but Kathy was more eager to dish on the standout moments with her fellow Bravo costars. "There's a fashion show with all the Real Housewives. I want you to know, three of them fell! Orange County's Jeana Keogh went down. Over my dead body was I going to miss rehearsals for the Real Housewives fashion show. They cause more trouble than anybody backstage. Oh yes, they think they're gigantic stars." What about our fave, N.Y.'s Bethenny Frankel? "I really like Bethenny. I find her very easy to talk to. Out of all of them, she's the one that I actually had a conversation with."
Spoiler Alert! You guys have to tune in for the A-List Awards tomorrow night! "This show is so great because it's just enough under the radar where anything can happen, and I'm telling you, there are some moments in this show that I promise you won't see on any other show," she adds. And here's the spoiler alert: "The trophy girl is my mother."
She Will Cut You: "Nobody gets a f--king free ride out of the act. It doesn't work that way, no matter how much my mom begs," says Kathy about She'll Cut a Bitch. "Yeah, I can make fun of the Octomom, but in the special, I try to put stuff that is unique to me—what is my personal experience with this person."
Kathy Griffin: She'll Cut a Bitch airs on Bravo this Wednesday at 9 p.m. followed by The A-List Awards at 10 p.m.
Will you tune in to see Kathy Griffin strut her comedic stuff?