Lindsay Lohan

David Tonnessen,

Hate to sound bitchy, but when Lindsay Lohan's attorney dished to E! that the oft-troubled, sometime actress was "doing really well at being sober and clean," we couldn't help but be skeptical.

For starters, why the hell would Judge Revel double Lindsay's bail if she were as squeaky-clean as Team Lohan wants us to believe? And if those five probation violations weren't for tossing back a few court-banned brews, what the ef were they for?

So it's no surprise that the legitimacy of Lohan's latest urine sample is coming into question:

Yesterday morning, Radar Online reported that Lindsay's blood-alcohol level was anywhere between .03 and .04 when, as we first reported, her flashy SCRAM bracelet went off at Katy Perry's post-MTV Movie Awards bash.

Obviously that means the babe was boozin', so how did her pee prove she was perfectly sober?

"It's not just possible, but probable, that someone would have a .00 BAC the morning after drinking, even earlier than a 10 a.m. test," Kathleen Brown of the Alcohol Monitoring Services tells E! News.

"That is precisely the reason that judges order 24/7 alcohol monitoring, and that's the reason that this judge ordered both random drug tests and SCRAM in this case. Alcohol metabolizes very quickly in the body, and thus it's very difficult to catch drinking in random tests. Random tests are very good at catching drug use—drugs leave residual indicators in the body that last much longer than alcohol."

Hear that, folks? The SCRAM doesn't lie, though we already knew that from its über-outspoken Twitter account. Can't wait to see the poor alcohol monitor's official statement on this debacle.

"An additional note," Brown explains on LiLo's loco case, "drug and alcohol testing were not conditions of probation. They were conditions of the court for bond. The court is managing the drug and alcohol testing; those results are not determinant of probation violations."

We wonder what excuse Lindsay will use this time? Bet she's just kicking herself for not thinking up Jeremy London's kidnapping ordeal before it happened to the poor fellow.

Might still work, L.L. "Katy Perry kidnapped me!" Worth a try, no?

(Originally published June 18, 2010 at 2:30 p.m. PT)

Follow @theawfultruth on Twitter.


Photos: Fashion Spotlight: Lindsay Lohan.

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