Facebook, User


On Friday, tragedy struck in the early hours of the morning: A loved one fell gravely ill, plagued by a mysterious virus (maybe). Their functions ceased. They couldn't chat. They could barely muster a poke. The life draining from their eyes as you held them in your arms. A coma? You desperately try to resuscitate them. Was this death? Refresh. "Won't someone help?!" you cry out, into the void. But no one can hear you. "HEEEEEEELP." As they sputtered out one last, "W--wha---what's on your mind?" you frantically dial 911, tears streaming down your face.

On Friday, Facebook was down

And police responded: Please stop calling. We don't care about your Facebook status.

Yes, while Facebook was temporarily down last week, at least one police station in this great(?) country, the L.A. County Sheriff's Department, received a number of emergency calls about it, says Sergeant Burton Brink.

Just to really double down on the fact that yes, people were calling 911 because they couldn't log onto Facebook, Sgt. Brink tweeted, "yes, we get calls all the time like this, cable TV, all sorts of things not working, they think we control."

Honestly, we're torn on how to respond to this: On one hand, we sincerely hope this was just an isolated incident of a few people forgetting what types of emergencies warrant a call to the police (quick reminder: natural disasters, fire, murder, mayhem, almost anything that involves blood). Then again, we live in L.A. We need to believe that other cities have idiots like this. We can't be the only ones surrounded by idiots.

Unfriend everyone.

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