by John Boone | Wed., Jan. 22, 2014 11:42 AM
Fifty Shades of Grey is going to be "tamer" than the book. Which is good, because nobody should be masturbating in a movie theater. A source tells us, "They felt it would be too much, so they have dialed [the sex scenes] back."
Still, a producer for the film tells E! News "it's hot" and "the chemistry is there" between stars Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson. Then again, he also says, "The story is so powerful," sooooooo. Do with that what you will.
What you can expect is probably a lot of making out, some mild spanking and sexy-ish stuff shot in close-ups. But you probably won't see any of these scenes in the movie version:
"I found some baby oil. Let me rub it on your behind."
Sitting beside me, he gently pulls my sweatpants down. Up and down like a whores' drawers, my subconscious remarks bitterly...Christian squirts baby oil into his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness—from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid."
Will Be Replaced With: A bit of the aforementioned mild spanking—mostly likely partially clothed spanking with no actual hand skin on butt skin contact—and no weird butt rubbing afterwards.
He leans down and kisses me, his fingers still moving rhythmically inside me, his thumb circling and pressing. His other hand scoops my hair off my head and holds my head in place. His tongue mirrors the actions of his fingers, claiming me.
My legs begin to stiffen as I push against his hand. He gentles his hand, so I'm brought back from the brink...I come instantly again and again, falling apart beneath him...Then I'm building again...I climax anew, calling out his name.
Will Be Replaced With: A full-on fingering scene might be cut altogether. Or they will just show Jamie's hand go out of frame, then a close-up on Dakota as she breathes heavily and "climaxes" once. And only once. After that, it's excessive. Like, what are you trying to prove, girl?
He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shiny silver balls linked with a thick black thread … Inside me! I gasp, and all the muscles deep in my belly clench. My inner goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils
It's a curious feeling. Once they're inside me, I can't really feel them—but then again I know they're there. I may have to keep these. They make me needy, needy for sex.
Will Be Replaced With: A scene featuring a ball gag or riding crop. Much more viewer-friendly than vaginal beads. Especially because they can't show the beads going in the vagina or it becomes an actual porno movie.
I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He's my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder...My inner goddess is doing the Merengue with some salsa moves.
Will Be Replaced With: A regular sex scene that doesn't involve a blow job.
He leans forward, running his nose up the apex between my thighs. I feel him. There. "You smell so good," he murmurs and closes his eyes, a look of pure pleasure on his face, and I practically convulse.
Will Be Replaced With: A regular sex scene that doesn't involve cunnilingus.
"How do you make yourself come? I want to see."
I shake my head. "I don't," I mumble.
He raises his eyebrows, astonished for a moment..."Well, we'll have to see what we can do about that." His voice is soft, challenging, a delicious sensual threat. [...] "Keep still," he murmurs, and then he leans down and kisses the inside of my thigh, trailing kisses up, over the thin lacy material of my panties, kissing me.
I can't keep still. How can I not move? I wriggle beneath him. "We're going to have to work on keeping you still, baby."
Will Be Replaced With: The kisses will stay (she's wearing underwear and thighs are scandalous to no one). The creepy comment about keeping still will stay. But the masturbation of it all will be done in a fade to black.
Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow!...He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no...Will it? How?
Will Be Replaced With: Not a penis. Probably just Dakota making an O_O face.
"Anastasia, I'm going to come in your mouth," his breathy tone is warning. "If you don't want me to, stop now." He flexes his hips again, his eyes are wide, wary, and filled with salacious need—need for me. Need for my mouth… oh my.
Holy crap. His hands are really gripping my hair. I can do this. I push even harder and, in a moment of extraordinary confidence, I bare my teeth. It tips him over the edge.
Will Be Replaced With: Well if there's no blow job (see: No. 6) there DEFINITELY isn't going to be anyone swallowing anything and there DEFINITELY isn't going to be anyone biting anyone's penis or whatever Anastasia is doing.
"When did you start your period, Anastasia?" he asks out of the blue, gazing down at me.
"Err… yesterday," I mumble in my highly aroused state.
"Good." He releases me and turns me around. "Hold on to the sink," he orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the playroom, so I'm bending down. He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy f--k. Sweet mother of all… Jeez.
And then he's inside me… ah!
Will Be Replaced With: We don't know, maybe like a scene where they eat spaghetti?
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