Robert Pattinson

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After the scandal-filled, headline-generating summer Robert Pattinson and his back-on girlfriend Kristen Stewart have had, it should come as no surprise that the paparazzi aren't exactly the Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 star's favorite group of people at the moment. (That honor, we're guessing, goes to those loyal Twihards.)

But what comes as slightly more of a surprise is that when the artist known as R.Pattz chatted exclusively with E! News, he had no problem issuing a stern and quite literally ball-busting warning to any would-be shutterbugs.

When asked by E!'s own Jason Kennedy what one daily activity the ever-plagued star wished he could do in peace, he put forth a rather shocking answer:

"Go around castrating paparazzi."

Shocking, but frankly understandable.

Meanwhile, Pattinson also took time out to wax philosophical on some of the finer points of his character arc. By which, of course, we mean his super-hot love scenes with Kristen Stewart.

"It was weird, we shot the love scenes for the last one and this one at basically the same time, so it was very confusing," he said, going on to explain that they had to be "gentle" one day and "mind-blowing" the next.

"Vampire sex is supposed to be the greatest sex in the world, and then everyone turns up on set and they're like, 'OK, well, uh, what's your thing?' It's, like, completely crazy!"

Even crazier? Imagining the franchise without his fictional and real-life leading lady.

"It's one of the reasons I signed onto it in the first place," he said of Kristen's attachment to the project. "It seemed like it wasn't going to be a typical teen movie. I guess I was pretty pretentious even then, even when I was unemployed. It was my first American movie, so I didn't want to take the wrong step."

Eh. We're pretty sure you did all right there, Rob.

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